Benzos It's 4/20 and I'm more upset that my doctor didn't refill my valium

[BourbonMac]

It's honestly baffling, and concerning, that's reached this point. But it makes sense. I haven't been able to use cannabis due to a chronic sinus condition that requires surgery in July. It was supposed to be by May or June, but of course, nothing ever works out as planned. So that basically kills off most of my summer plans.

Why he didn't re-fill it? Beyond me. He's been cool with re-fills the whole time, but suddenly he ghosted me today when I need it the most. One day when he was out I called the office myself because he'd accidentally put in a 5 day supply instead of 10 (he never gives more than a 10 day supply, and it's only 5mg ffs), someone else filled it for me. So I tried the same thing here, was working all day but couldn't get service, so on my way home (I left a bit early), I called at 3:55, they close at 4:00. For whatever reason I'm directed to the off-duty people who say they're closed, they can't refer me to a doctor, is this an emergency, etc. Like wtf, you're not closed, there are doctors still there.

I tried reaching out to them on patientportal and now I probably seem like a druggy. I kind of feel like I am at this point, but what other options do I have? Nothing has helped me get through the anxiety attacks like valium has, I've been on it for 3 months now. I realize I shouldn't be having any withdrawal but the fact the guy just ignored my messages on the portal anyway is very odd to me. I know he was in today, he delivered results from a small bowel test I had yesterday which shows delayed gastric emptying. This is one thing the valium has really helped with. When my stomach cramps and bloats up horribly, valium cures it like magic, and then suddenly I can eat. But aside from delivering those results he ignored everything else I had to say about what's been going on, how my surgery was delayed, ENT ignored getting back to me about nosebleeds ever since he'd stuck metal rods up my nostrils, etc. I'm legit feeling left in a position like he's my drug dealer and he flaked on me. This is how it used to feel when I'd want weed but couldn't get it, that's what's so ironic.

I happen to have weed and multiple carts, and I ought to just try some tonight, it's been months. But I'm more worried about my throat at this point which has become inflamed from all the post nasal drip coming from my sinuses. I've had intermittent episodes of feeling like I can't breathe, but I think that's from how much I was aggressively hacking it up rather than just letting it go down. To be honest I'm practically scared to smoke, my tolerance is zero, but I'd barely pack anything, and I'm sure it would help take the edge off so much. But I'm not ready to come off the valium either, I want to at least taper and be off by June. I hate feeling tied to it, and kind of hate that my doctor has been relatively generous about handing it out... although should I be? It genuinely helps. I just have a stigma against benzos and that's why I turned them down whenever he suggested them in the past. Until it all became too much to bare by the start of the year.

I do have gabapentin as well but I take that daily (for pretty much no reason, tbh), other than placebo effect. I kind of hate the point I've reached, like this is what not being able to smoke weed for months has led me to. A total nightly ritual involving valium to calm me down enough to sleep and maybe put more in my stomach so I don't become malnourished from the paranoia induced anorexia. Thank you kindly to everyone at the office for ghosting me. If this was xanax or something that'd practically be malpractice. I don't use up my med supplies early, I've always used them past the point where insurance can allow a re-fill again. So it's not like I'm out of control with it, taking high doses, going to the streets for it. But is sure is annoying as hell to be shoved to the side like this out of nowhere.

It honestly seems like I'm more addicted to the ritual or the idea that it helps me as much as it does. I've been through this with multiple different things. Like one night not taking it isn't gonna be the end of the world, I clearly have deeper problems to tackle. But if the physical health issues weren't part of that, I wouldn't be on this in the first place.

 

[AbbeyLee]

Nothing has helped me get through the anxiety attacks like valium has, I've been on it for 3 months now.

I've been on it for 30 years. Last year they cut me off cold turkey and within a month I was in ICU because I took to alcohol. In and out of hospital for months.

Benzos are a good, clean drug and they kick ass when it comes to anxiety. I don't care if I need them for the rest of my life (I'm 48 ). The problem is indeed getting them, because they are so vilified as "addictive". Yes they are addictive, but what do they think alcohol is? Benzos were invented to replace barbiturates, which are way stronger and did kill people.

Obviously being sober is better than being on benzos. Even weed is better, but that doesn't help my anxiety. But I just think the anti-benzo bandwagon needs a bit of counteracting.

I went through the rigamarole yesterday trying to get 5mg Valium. For a long time I was on 10mg/day nitrazepam (Mogadon). A psychiatrist *and* a GP said it wasn't a lot for someone with my level of C-PTSD. But apparently it is now

Good luck..

Abbey x

 

[BourbonMac]

Jesus, CT after 30 years is malpractice if I've ever heard of it. So alcohol helped your withdrawal from it then? Not that I plan to go that route, I used to drink a lot but at some point I just grew to hate it. This is coming from someone who used to down whole bottles when they were 19/20 (I'm 28 at the moment). How bad were your withdrawals otherwise or before the alcohol? I'm just curious.

Valium is really mild, it provides minimal sedation or intoxication for me when I take 10mg at night (it's prescribed 5mg every 8 hours, but I very rarely take any in the morning or daytime). But it really does help me wind down and, for the last few months, has literally kept me from dying of anorexia, largely induced from paranoia in regards to stress induced G.I issues. I mentioned delayed gastric emptying, this is most likely due to being put on prilosec when I complained of mild heartburn to my doctor. It's a common side effect, and is at least definitely responsible to a certain degree.

Otherwise, turns out it was mostly my own doing hacking up mucus from my sinuses pouring. I did have *some* heartburn but only because of the chronic headaches from my sinuses and being put on and off antibiotics, steroids and NSAIDS, all while not eating great or well at all. I should've had the surgery done in the spring and I'd planned to go back home to Nebraska in the summer to visit relatives (a tradition I try my best to keep up with). I'll plan for September now, but I'm still kind of devastated because we'd all planned for July a whole year in advance.

But yeah, I'm only now starting to eat more, but gradually. I work in retail, a very high stress, understaffed, underpaid job, and every day I'm there, if I eat anything, anything at all, my stomach is destroyed with cramps and bloating. On my days off? I can drink THREE BARIUM MILKSHAKES and not even be as bloated as a piece of plain toast while at work. Stress appears to slow down the emptying even more. I ate all day today and was fine. I know tomorrow, when I go back, I won't be fine. If I were to take a valium, of course I would be, it kills off all of the stomach issues become of its muscle relaxant properties. But the last time I took a valium before work I felt like I was going to pass out, even though it's actually mildly stimulating in the evening.

I'm with you as a C-PTSD sufferer. It's a horrible, horrible condition, and through months of chronic head/face pain, trouble breathing and stomach problems, I've needed valium more than ever. I don't want to stay on it but I honestly have to for the time being. I'm traumatized just from how bad the last 4 months have been. I'll never forget how fucked up Christmas was. I tried so hard to have a good one and it just backfired on me miserably. I began my first doses of valium 5 days later.

Weed personally helps my anxiety a lot, but it's a rocky road. I don't have a tolerance right now, so if I took a puff, I could very easily leave the planet and get totally paranoid, heart racing, all that fun stuff. If I smoke it during the day it's almost always anxiety because I begin to feel useless and lost. But at the same time, I was more creatively functionial, at least during the evening. For the sake of my health I just can't smoke right now, but maybe I'll puff a cart one time just to say I had some THC on 4/20. It'd be my 10th in a row and I can't break the cycle and not indulge. At the end of the day, weed helped me more when I was HAVING anxiety or depression. If I wasn't, then it could give those to me. It could be a very inconsistent drug.

 

[Conky]

Considering she got put in the ICU, I'd say the alcohol probably didn't help the withdrawal.

 

[BourbonMac]

Yea, I'm just curious if it did at all. It's difficult to tell whether it did help any or if overconsumption of alcohol is why she was in the ICU. Probably some of both.

 

[AbbeyLee]

Yea, I'm just curious if it did at all. It's difficult to tell whether it did help any or if overconsumption of alcohol is why she was in the ICU. Probably some of both.

Well alcohol calms me down for a bit but when it wears off the anxiety is even worse. I get into a spiral of drinking round the clock

ICU was from severe dehydration because I'm diabetic (alcohol-induced Pancreatitis in 2008 ). I was unconscious and my sodium was so low they didn't know how I was alive. "Alcohol toxicity" they called it, but that can mean so many things. I think severe electrolyte imbalance. Then a kidney infection.

AA have warned me about benzos, saying they're "chewable alcohol". But they don't affect my body like alcohol (and I can't just buy them whenever and wherever I want).

So yeah, no. Bad idea for benzo withdrawal, but very very tempting

 

[AbbeyLee]

I'm with you as a C-PTSD sufferer. It's a horrible, horrible condition, and through months of chronic head/face pain, trouble breathing and stomach problems, I've needed valium more than ever. I don't want to stay on it but I honestly have to for the time being. I'm traumatized just from how bad the last 4 months have been. I'll never forget how fucked up Christmas was. I tried so hard to have a good one and it just backfired on me miserably. I began my first doses of valium 5 days later.

But it really does help me wind down and, for the last few months, has literally kept me from dying of anorexia, largely induced from paranoia in regards to stress induced G.I issues.

God, sounds like we have some stuff in common. My diabetes has been a bit of an eating disorder too, because I was using it to keep weight off by not taking insulin It's even got a name ("diabulimia" or something) because it's not uncommon.. I mean you can eat whatever the hell you want and lose weight!! High blood sugar is easy to handle. But it obviously fucks your body up bigtime after a while. So I've had to start looking after it and put up with gaining weight. Not as bad as I thought and I look back at pics and think yuck.

 

[Pickledlemons]

So are you trying to quit then, or no? If no, you can order xanax for super cheap on the dark net. I'm talking like pennies per mg if you buy in bulk. Its shorter acting, more prone to abuse, but the effects are pretty much the same in my experience. You can buy valium too, its just way, way more expensive.

If you do want to quit, the best thing is kava. You can buy it on amazon. It will relieve the symptoms a bit. My other suggestion would be gabapentin but you're already on it I see. I kind of find the two to have a nice synergistic effect.

Ironically, I had the exact opposite problem today. I went to fill up my valium and the pharmacist gave me 5mg pills instead of 2mg, so I have over double what I need. I mean, cool, but I'm supposed to be on a rapid taper, these pills are harder to split into smaller doses and I'm afraid all that extra might tempt me to take more than I should. Haven't given in yet, lol. 6mg a day right now, taking away 1mg every 4 or 5 days.

I also had a bad experience this holiday season that started me on taking benzos daily, even thought I had been using them responsibly for years. Thats all it takes, one bad day.

 

[negrogesic]

It's honestly baffling, and concerning, that's reached this point. But it makes sense. I haven't been able to use cannabis due to a chronic sinus condition that requires surgery in July. It was supposed to be by May or June, but of course, nothing ever works out as planned. So that basically kills off most of my summer plans.

Why he didn't re-fill it? Beyond me. He's been cool with re-fills the whole time, but suddenly he ghosted me today when I need it the most. One day when he was out I called the office myself because he'd accidentally put in a 5 day supply instead of 10 (he never gives more than a 10 day supply, and it's only 5mg ffs), someone else filled it for me. So I tried the same thing here, was working all day but couldn't get service, so on my way home (I left a bit early), I called at 3:55, they close at 4:00. For whatever reason I'm directed to the off-duty people who say they're closed, they can't refer me to a doctor, is this an emergency, etc. Like wtf, you're not closed, there are doctors still there.

I tried reaching out to them on patientportal and now I probably seem like a druggy. I kind of feel like I am at this point, but what other options do I have? Nothing has helped me get through the anxiety attacks like valium has, I've been on it for 3 months now. I realize I shouldn't be having any withdrawal but the fact the guy just ignored my messages on the portal anyway is very odd to me. I know he was in today, he delivered results from a small bowel test I had yesterday which shows delayed gastric emptying. This is one thing the valium has really helped with. When my stomach cramps and bloats up horribly, valium cures it like magic, and then suddenly I can eat. But aside from delivering those results he ignored everything else I had to say about what's been going on, how my surgery was delayed, ENT ignored getting back to me about nosebleeds ever since he'd stuck metal rods up my nostrils, etc. I'm legit feeling left in a position like he's my drug dealer and he flaked on me. This is how it used to feel when I'd want weed but couldn't get it, that's what's so ironic.

I happen to have weed and multiple carts, and I ought to just try some tonight, it's been months. But I'm more worried about my throat at this point which has become inflamed from all the post nasal drip coming from my sinuses. I've had intermittent episodes of feeling like I can't breathe, but I think that's from how much I was aggressively hacking it up rather than just letting it go down. To be honest I'm practically scared to smoke, my tolerance is zero, but I'd barely pack anything, and I'm sure it would help take the edge off so much. But I'm not ready to come off the valium either, I want to at least taper and be off by June. I hate feeling tied to it, and kind of hate that my doctor has been relatively generous about handing it out... although should I be? It genuinely helps. I just have a stigma against benzos and that's why I turned them down whenever he suggested them in the past. Until it all became too much to bare by the start of the year.

I do have gabapentin as well but I take that daily (for pretty much no reason, tbh), other than placebo effect. I kind of hate the point I've reached, like this is what not being able to smoke weed for months has led me to. A total nightly ritual involving valium to calm me down enough to sleep and maybe put more in my stomach so I don't become malnourished from the paranoia induced anorexia. Thank you kindly to everyone at the office for ghosting me. If this was xanax or something that'd practically be malpractice. I don't use up my med supplies early, I've always used them past the point where insurance can allow a re-fill again. So it's not like I'm out of control with it, taking high doses, going to the streets for it. But is sure is annoying as hell to be shoved to the side like this out of nowhere.

It honestly seems like I'm more addicted to the ritual or the idea that it helps me as much as it does. I've been through this with multiple different things. Like one night not taking it isn't gonna be the end of the world, I clearly have deeper problems to tackle. But if the physical health issues weren't part of that, I wouldn't be on this in the first place.

What's the specific issue with your sinuses out curiosity?

And the total daily dose of diazepam. You might not experience much in terms of withdrawal if the dose is low and this is your first time.

On a side note I never really know what to say in the cases in which someone is facing actual benzo withdrawal and has no alternatives. There is no "kratom" for benzodiazepines like in the case of opioids. There are no supplements that measurably help. The only answer is time.

In any event lets hope you don't experience much in terms of your withdrawal this time but I'll let my previous comment of, "nothing helps when you are in benzo withdrawal" serve as a sort of warning and harbinger of things to come. If don't absolutely need benzos they should be avoided like the plague.

I mean I am pretty much constantly anxious, my baseline anxiety levels are very high, and benzos work like a dream, they work like nothing else. For example, alcohol does almost nothing for my anxiety except at very high doses, but at that point it is just acting as a sedative and a true anxiolytic. Phenibut does very little too. Benzos make me feel like a weight has been lifted, i feel more like myself in many regards.

But despite how much relief they bring me, these days I avoid them like the plague. I've been hooked on them twice at eventually very high doses each time. They stop working, you'll need more. And that will stop working. You are already finding yourself in this situation essentially, preoccupied by supply issues.

I know there is almost zero chance you'll actually act upon this recommendation (because I know I wouldn't have either) but unless you are younger than say 65 or have tried everything and absolutely can't live without benzos,. I mean sometimes I honestly feel like I can't really live without benzos, and occasionally even think, "maybe my life would be better on a low dose of benzos", but I know that isn't true in the end. Almost no one on long term benzodiazepine .

While benzos are incredibly effective, the anxiety they can produce on the flipside is far, far worse than the anxiety it ever relieved. Just saying you are at fortunate place in this where you could get out without getting too scratched up.

 

[Ballz_Trippington]

I've been on it for 30 years. Last year they cut me off cold turkey and within a month I was in ICU because I took to alcohol. In and out of hospital for months.

Benzos are a good, clean drug and they kick ass when it comes to anxiety. I don't care if I need them for the rest of my life (I'm 48 ). The problem is indeed getting them, because they are so vilified as "addictive". Yes they are addictive, but what do they think alcohol is? Benzos were invented to replace barbiturates, which are way stronger and did kill people.

Obviously being sober is better than being on benzos. Even weed is better, but that doesn't help my anxiety. But I just think the anti-benzo bandwagon needs a bit of counteracting.

I went through the rigamarole yesterday trying to get 5mg Valium. For a long time I was on 10mg/day nitrazepam (Mogadon). A psychiatrist *and* a GP said it wasn't a lot for someone with my level of C-PTSD. But apparently it is now

Good luck..

Abbey x

I'm very nervous....my doctor is absolutely amazing but he's retiring in June and gave me a list of of other family doctors to go to....he's scripted me 30x.5mg Clonazepam per month every three months....but it's literally like how is this random new doctor I've been recommended going to handle my anxiety disorder????
It's actually causing me anxiety that switching doctors might completely derail my mental health...my mom suffered 3 strokes last year and abunch of other health problems and my wife and I look after her full time but my anxiety is very much tied to my my mom's declining health and I actually had a complete mental breakdown as the strokes with my mom happened right around when my cat of 17 years passed away and I just completely broke down couldn't work....went on stress leave for 3 months then got a script for clonazepam, started talking to cognitive behavioral therapists and got an appointment with a psychiatrist and everything seems to be stable....I'm.back at work full time with no problems , I'm sleeping well, anxiety is fairly under control then my doctor drops the bomb that his retirement is in a few months and I need to find someone else.....now I'm nervous my new doctor won't be on board with the tge treatment plan my old good doctor put in place which has given me my life back....
He even said to me at my lat appointment...some people just do better with a low dose of an SSRI , some people do better on a reasonable dose of a benzodiazepine, some people just do better on certain meds rather than others....I'm only praying my new doc is half as understanding as my old doc.

 

[yubacity]

I've been on it for 30 years. Last year they cut me off cold turkey and within a month I was in ICU because I took to alcohol. In and out of hospital for months.

Benzos are a good, clean drug and they kick ass when it comes to anxiety. I don't care if I need them for the rest of my life (I'm 48 ). The problem is indeed getting them, because they are so vilified as "addictive". Yes they are addictive, but what do they think alcohol is? Benzos were invented to replace barbiturates, which are way stronger and did kill people.

Obviously being sober is better than being on benzos. Even weed is better, but that doesn't help my anxiety. But I just think the anti-benzo bandwagon needs a bit of counteracting.

I went through the rigamarole yesterday trying to get 5mg Valium. For a long time I was on 10mg/day nitrazepam (Mogadon). A psychiatrist *and* a GP said it wasn't a lot for someone with my level of C-PTSD. But apparently it is now

Good luck..

Abbey x

That is fucked up he just cut you of cold turkey no tapering how can that be allowed he must know how dangerous benzo wd is.

 

[AbbeyLee]

That is fucked up he just cut you of cold turkey no tapering how can that be allowed he must know how dangerous benzo wd is.

The Drug & Alcohol people described it as "shocking". The thing is, I tried several other doctors at that clinic and they refused to help. Wouldn't even consider diazepam (after clonazepam).. Doled out by a pharmacist.. Nothing.

Changed to a clinic where the doctors are private ie. Charge a fee, and struck it lucky with a guy who is sympathetic to my benzo vs alcohol plight (he also bulk-bills me so I don't pay anyway).

In Australia GPs can now see all prescriptions of "addictive drugs" by other GPs. So no doctor shopping.

 

[yubacity]

The Drug & Alcohol people described it as "shocking". The thing is, I tried several other doctors at that clinic and they refused to help. Wouldn't even consider diazepam (after clonazepam).. Doled out by a pharmacist.. Nothing.

Changed to a clinic where the doctors are private ie. Charge a fee, and struck it lucky with a guy who is sympathetic to my benzo vs alcohol plight (he also bulk-bills me so I don't pay anyway).

In Australia GPs can now see all prescriptions of "addictive drugs" by other GPs. So no doctor shopping.

It is a disgrace surely the doctor knew what you would go into a life-threatening benzo wd . A doctor's job is to protect your well-being and before cutting you of from valium after 30 years im hoping i read your post wrong and you were not on valium for 300 years and cut off cold turkey. Because that doctor should be held to account is is well known that valium is addictive and can be life-threatening if cut off and wd starts.

The doctor i go to has a sign-up that this surgery does not prescribe diazepam I was thinking what if it is the right drug for the patient. I once broke 3 ribs put my back out and my doctor told me to take ibuprofen for the pain. I'm thinking that will do nothing for the pain but I was smoking heroin at that time which still did not stop the pain used to be terrified when I felt a sneeze coming.

 

[AbbeyLee]

It is a disgrace surely the doctor knew what you would go into a life-threatening benzo wd . A doctor's job is to protect your well-being and before cutting you of from valium after 30 years im hoping i read your post wrong and you were not on valium for 300 years and cut off cold turkey. Because that doctor should be held to account is is well known that valium is addictive and can be life-threatening if cut off and wd starts.

The doctor i go to has a sign-up that this surgery does not prescribe diazepam I was thinking what if it is the right drug for the patient. I once broke 3 ribs put my back out and my doctor told me to take ibuprofen for the pain. I'm thinking that will do nothing for the pain but I was smoking heroin at that time which still did not stop the pain used to be terrified when I felt a sneeze coming.

Well I've been on and off benzos for 30 years (more on than off). When I got cut off last year I was actually on Nitrazepam which is stronger than Diazepam.

I've withdrawn from benzos cold turkey numerous times and I get pretty crazy anxiety and insomnia, but never seizures or anything too dramatic. (Oxies + benzos was "fun"). But he didn't know that.

 

[BourbonMac]

What's the specific issue with your sinuses out curiosity?

And the total daily dose of diazepam. You might not experience much in terms of withdrawal if the dose is low and this is your first time.

On a side note I never really know what to say in the cases in which someone is facing actual benzo withdrawal and has no alternatives. There is no "kratom" for benzodiazepines like in the case of opioids. There are no supplements that measurably help. The only answer is time.

In any event lets hope you don't experience much in terms of your withdrawal this time but I'll let my previous comment of, "nothing helps when you are in benzo withdrawal" serve as a sort of warning and harbinger of things to come. If don't absolutely need benzos they should be avoided like the plague.

I mean I am pretty much constantly anxious, my baseline anxiety levels are very high, and benzos work like a dream, they work like nothing else. For example, alcohol does almost nothing for my anxiety except at very high doses, but at that point it is just acting as a sedative and a true anxiolytic. Phenibut does very little too. Benzos make me feel like a weight has been lifted, i feel more like myself in many regards.

But despite how much relief they bring me, these days I avoid them like the plague. I've been hooked on them twice at eventually very high doses each time. They stop working, you'll need more. And that will stop working. You are already finding yourself in this situation essentially, preoccupied by supply issues.

I know there is almost zero chance you'll actually act upon this recommendation (because I know I wouldn't have either) but unless you are younger than say 65 or have tried everything and absolutely can't live without benzos,. I mean sometimes I honestly feel like I can't really live without benzos, and occasionally even think, "maybe my life would be better on a low dose of benzos", but I know that isn't true in the end. Almost no one on long term benzodiazepine .

While benzos are incredibly effective, the anxiety they can produce on the flipside is far, far worse than the anxiety it ever relieved. Just saying you are at fortunate place in this where you could get out without getting too scratched up.

Chronic maxillary sinusitis. Basically, the sinuses behind my cheeks are completely jam packed with no way to drain out my nasal passages. I can breathe through my nose and taste and smell perfectly fine as a result... it's very strange. Turns out I've had this for years, CT scans from late 2016 after I got hit by a car show my sinuses were already pretty fucked, but it wasn't an ENT looking at those, they were checking for fractures. But yeah, I started experiencing absolutely insane headaches from hell by the start of December (had a flare in mid November, it went away until the night of Thanksgiving).

December/January were hell, and the post nasal drip has since February given me trouble breathing and a horrifyingly bad burning throat. It got better for awhile, but it came back recently after my post nasal drip was full of blood thanks to the ENT on my follow-up stabbing my nasal passages with metal rods. I guess I've got a polyp in there too. My nasal passages in general are pretty narrow and always have been, which complicates things a bit more. They'll need to suction most of the crap out, and then I have to religiously use the nasal rinse daily for awhile to get the rest.

I guess it's been gradually getting worse and worse and there was no way for me to realize. I never questioned much why my sense of smell was generally so weak. I think it's mainly stronger now because of flonase/sinus rinses. The nail in the coffin was probably smoking too much weed last year, which is ironic considering it's my drug of choice among everything I've ever tried. It's my one true love. Benzos are amazing, they really are, but they don't fit the missing puzzle piece that cannabis does. It can give me anxiety, but in ways that are productive to me as an individual, as a way of realizing "hmm, maybe I need to really make this change."

I can't get surgery till July, but I want to try smoking a little bit again to see how I'll do. I know I'll be wrecked with even a snapper by now. It just sucks that valium has become part of my nightly ritual, whereas before it was, take 2g of kratom, chill and listen to music for a bit, then get super fucking high, munch out, watch some cool stuff on YouTube and pass out. It was a match made in heaven really. I had pretty bad withdrawals from quitting weed if I'm honest, valium eventually squashed them out. It's difficult to break a ritual like this, with a drug I really do enjoy, but I enjoyed cannabis so much more. I just want everything to be back to normal, especially with my gut (I'm experiencing delayed gastric emptying issues, not sure the cause yet). Any discomfort from this is killed by the valium and I can eat totally fine.

I want to be off by June, but it really depends how my other symptoms improve and if I find smoking a bit of weed again at night will work back into my ritual. My headaches have generally improved, back in December smoking would often make them worse or bring out pulsating tooth pain from the pressure. It was so disappointing every time.

 

[BourbonMac]

So are you trying to quit then, or no? If no, you can order xanax for super cheap on the dark net. I'm talking like pennies per mg if you buy in bulk. Its shorter acting, more prone to abuse, but the effects are pretty much the same in my experience. You can buy valium too, its just way, way more expensive.

If you do want to quit, the best thing is kava. You can buy it on amazon. It will relieve the symptoms a bit. My other suggestion would be gabapentin but you're already on it I see. I kind of find the two to have a nice synergistic effect.

Ironically, I had the exact opposite problem today. I went to fill up my valium and the pharmacist gave me 5mg pills instead of 2mg, so I have over double what I need. I mean, cool, but I'm supposed to be on a rapid taper, these pills are harder to split into smaller doses and I'm afraid all that extra might tempt me to take more than I should. Haven't given in yet, lol. 6mg a day right now, taking away 1mg every 4 or 5 days.

I also had a bad experience this holiday season that started me on taking benzos daily, even thought I had been using them responsibly for years. Thats all it takes, one bad day.

Yes I'm definitely trying to quit. It's just been my lifeline throughout such a horrifyingly bad past half year. I've just been existing in a constant state of physical and mental discomfort, and my job/family life suck. A lot of circumstances suck really really badly. I may re-try some Prozac or something.

I was able to get my re-fill today regardless, I'm taking 12.5mg at night currently, although tonight I took 15mg because for some reason the 12.5 didn't do the usual. I think my oral dose has been delayed for some reason, maybe I should've just chewed it. Oral usually works fine but sometimes it takes like 2 or more hours to hit me. I tend to powderize them under the tongue now. Love the taste.

 

[Mr. Krinkle]

alright - so i can relate to a few things here

i got a few questions for you - but i'd like to rewind the tape here and get back to your heartburn issue first

think back to when that started, and then think back if you had taken a round of antibiotics prior to it starting within a 6 month period...i went down this road and was scoped and everything and it was the first time where i really just wanted to blow my brains out from chronic heartburn - i'll tell ya what i did....

 

[BourbonMac]

I had taken a round of antibiotics, it's what started the issue to begin with, but it went away after I stopped them. Though I'd been on multiple throughout last year, only the last one I was on gave me any (however, 2 days on a fluoroquinolone antibiotic is what triggered it the most, I think). I had to quit that one because within 2 days I was having swelling and join pain and my doctor said that was a sign to quit taking it ASAP. I also experiencing mild seretonin syndrome I believe because the dumbass didn't even tell me it increases the plasma levels of cymbalta. I experienced what felt like a mild seizure or something. I don't even wanna talk about it, it was so horrifying. Fluroquinolone antibiotics are fucking terrible. This was monofloxacin, my ENT tried to put me on Cipro a month later and I gave them a hard fucking no. That's way stronger than monofloxacin, and she had already told me there was no sign of infection. Because there isn't, there never was to begin with. My doctors just assumed I had an infection and I did whatever I thought was best to make the horrible pain go away.

It was once I started prednisone in January that I started getting some again, followed by high doses of aspirin.

It was never chronic for me, just mild, but I was mostly confusing my burning/struggling to breathe with heartburn as caused by the post nasal drip from my sinuses. I cold turkeyed the prilosec recently and my symptoms have improved a lot. I don't feel gastric emptying delayed as much, I can breathe better, etc. They literally made things worse for me. Then again, pepcid was also making things worse for me.

I do think the antibiotics caused a cycle of undereating, using antacids, and leading to motility issues that are only recently starting to get better. Did your scope show reflux then?

 

[Mr. Krinkle]

chronic can be mild - chronic just means it happens frequently - right?

ya know what my scope showed? nothing....waste of time and money - that's what that was - no H. pylori - no ulcers - no nothing - it was also the first time that i realized my health insurance was shit and i had $1000 deductable and i had to pay for that - i wasn't paying attention - and then i didn't have the money so they garnished my wages....good times....

anyway - long story short - i tried prilosec and some other bullshit - none of it really worked - the doctors had no idea what to do - they just throw pills and scopes at you and tell you that you don't have cancer.....great but i still have heartburn from hell

so im about to go see a naturopath, but before i do that, im talking to my mother - she's a nurse - and we're going back and forth, and i had an appendectomy almost a year before - and they thought mine had burst, so i got hit with some heavy antibiotics - and she said "maybe you need some probiotics"

so i buy some of the best probiotics - the most expensive ones at the store in the refrigerated section - you don't want the ones on the shelf not cold - they're probably dead.....take em for 2 weeks - and it's over - im back to normal after suffering for months....it was like god-send that she said that

bottomline - what happens with antibiotics - especially these newer ones - is they wipe out the good bacteria too - some of them are known to never come back - but you can get most of them back

i almost felt like my ph was off - i didn't know what direction from 7 it was off - but it felt off

anyway - try that - see if that does it

fermented foods too - like kimchi - kraut - kefir - you can go those routes too - i do those for maintenance now rather than a probiotic pill that costs a fortune



just so ya know, im mostly anti-pharmaceuticals - but i do love valium - i think it's a miracle drug - but dont do it everyday and you can totally get by without getting physically addicted....mentally - yea i was probably hooked on them mentally, but who cares about that

 

[LucidSDreamr]

When you have a benzo or opioid dependency you better stockpile alot of the drug becauze the medical establishment will constantly let you withdrawal and suffer immense torture from your disease just because a DEA bitch spooked them.