It Still Feels Like You're Here

[*Jamison*]

It still feels like you're here.
I can smell your cologne
Hanging heavy in the air.
I can still see the creases you left in my blanket
When you laid down on my bed.
Are you still lying there?
I touch the edge of the bed,
My fingers brushing across the soft folds in the baby blue blanket.
I can feel your warmth still generating through the materials,
Yet you're not there.
Although the window is shut,
I can feel the night air breathing on my smooth flesh,
Cooling my skin.
Chill bumps run up my arm
As a rush of wind encircles my body.
I hear a whisper.
"I love you."
The silence falls down heavily,
Like a weight.
I see you no more.
I hear you no more.
The last words you breathed out
Were the last words I breathed in.
Now I breathe no more,
Not daring to breathe out the precious words
You have given me.
You're gone.
I have to accept that.
I can't get you back.
You've gone to that place
I don't believe in anymore.
The place doesn't exist to me.
And that's where you are.
That's where you'll stay.
~Jamison
[ 14 January 2002: Message edited by: *Jamison* ]

 

[E-girl]

The last words you breathed out
Were the last words I breathed in.
part of me is still stuck in my past too. and i hate it. i hate that when i go to sleep at night, i can still feel him near me. i hate that when i wake up, he's not there. i hate that when i go to certain places, i almost expect to see him there, and he isn't.
there's something programmed into us that doesn't let memories die. sometimes it seems like a good thing, other times, a curse.
it's all about moving in. i have no advice on how to do that. people say time heals old wounds, but i dont think it does. i think time just makes you forget, but you can never forget completely, so there will always be that little glimmer of rememberance, when you smell that cologne, or have that feeling...

 

[icy rox]

Originally posted by E-girl:

part of me is still stuck in my past too. and i hate it. i hate that when i go to sleep at night, i can still feel him near me. i hate that when i wake up, he's not there. i hate that when i go to certain places, i almost expect to see him there, and he isn't.
there's something programmed into us that doesn't let memories die. sometimes it seems like a good thing, other times, a curse.
it's all about moving in. i have no advice on how to do that. people say time heals old wounds, but i dont think it does. i think time just makes you forget, but you can never forget completely, so there will always be that little glimmer of rememberance, when you smell that cologne, or have that feeling...
It couldn't have been said much better! I might one day forget, but I'll never be what I was, and tomorrow I'm sure I'll be reminded of him once again. =(
~icy

 

[*Jamison*]

Actually, this is really about death...not just someone going away like breaking up....
~Jamison

 

[Vivid Star Dust]

wow.. wow.. my thoughts exactly, thank you!
this brought tears to my eyes in the rememberance of my recently lost friend and everything in your writing i can relate to directly... (except it wasn't my bed he would be lying on, but our guest bed after a party with my brother )
and i feel the chills and they make me feel that he's near and (if you have seen it) reminds me of the 6th sence in which when someone who has died is in their presence.... i never believed in things like that until i really felt it
and i must say that i do still believe in God and heaven although i don't think everything happens for a reason anymore, sometimes even the man upstairs makes mistakes
thanks for such a great post.. and i hang in there, i feel a pain like yours
*miss you Ty*

 

[E-girl]

bump.