• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: Senior Staff

It it hard moving out and living alone?

C

Chee$e

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 4, 2012
Messages
72
I have finally decided to finally move out and live on my own. Most men tend to have bad relationships with their father growing up, I am the complete opposite. I get a long completely with my dad but I have an extremely bad relationship with my mother, to the point where I am officially moving out because of her behavior.

She is definitely a loving mother, has aided me in many ways but her behavior is drastically unpredictable and is starting to ruin my life. I won't go into detail.

Anyways, my parents have a local apartment that they are letting me move into one small room for free, considering I have been telling them I want to move out. I have 2 younger brothers that are growing up and I have developed a connection to them as the older brother.

In all honesty, I don't think I will miss my parents much, as they have essentially made my life one of constant worry that they will catch me in the act of something (smoking weed) or hanging out with the wrong people. My whole life consists of "How do I make sure they don't find out I did this"

It is a life of constant worry, stress, me being paranoid I will get caught, and being depressed of them accusing of me of stuff. The only option for me is to move out, but the thought of moving out worries me because of many things:

- Wont get to see my younger brothers as often, and will truly miss them, lots of days just talking and joking with them will make any bad day I had, feel better.

-Living by myself, quite house with no noise, essentially very boring and depressing

Is living by yourself, boring, depressing, and lonely? Especially if you have been used to interacting with brothers and siblings that you love?


Thing is, I really have no choice. My parents have left me no option, they are religous immigrant parents and the constant worry of me getting caught causes me huge amounts of stress and worry that I am not prepared to keep undergoing. I feel as though that if I want to continue my habit of living a youth type lifestyle (partying, weed, alcohol, girls etc.) I will have to move out.
 
Yeah man, it's hard! Life is hard. But it's gonna get hard wether you move out on your own or not, so why not get started living your own life now? If you think you are gonna miss your brothers so much, then I guess that means you are gonna have to make time to spend with them. That's hard to. But that's the point. Nothing in life worth having is easy.
 
You're lucky you've got a place to move into for free. That's an advantage that most people don't have, so count your blessings there. I think the hardest thing about moving out when you're younger is the money aspect, especially if you're a student as well. But it seems like that's something you wont have to worry about so much.

I prefer to live with other people, as I just like the feeling of having other people in the house, even if I'm not talking to them all the time. That being said, I have lived alone before and it wasn't terrible. It will probably depend what other aspects of your life are like. If you work and study, you may find you're not in the house that much anyway, so living alone wont bother you so much. If most of your friends still live with your parents, you'll probably find they'll want to visit you a lot, too. If you spend a lot of time at home, the loneliness aspect might be more worrisome.

Could you move out into a sharehouse, or have someone else move into your parents apartment? If not, it's just about weighing the benefits of each. I think moving out of the family home is usually a good thing though. I think it's important to get more of a sense of what being independent really means. It's usually harder than you'd first imagine it to be.
 
Moving out of my parent's home was the best thing I did for myself. It gave me the opportunity to develop my own beliefs and incorporate them into my life any which way I chose. I got to really know myself and reach my full potential. The freedom is very exciting.
 
Chee$e said:
Is living by yourself, boring, depressing, and lonely? Especially if you have been used to interacting with brothers and siblings that you love?
Click to expand...
only if you want it to be. if you chose to make living on your own exciting, upbeat and gregarious, it will be. you have a choice. make one!

there's no reason you can't continue to interact with your sibling simply because you move out. hell, they can sleep over if you like :)

alasdair
 
If theyre paying for the apartment are they nosy enough to "check in" on you occasionaly? Just something to keep in mind

also, its obviously not as easy as living at home but depending on your situation it can be not hard at all. You just have to be more wise with your income and not spend money on frivolous things.
 
I can't relate to this post at all. My parents were idiots. I left at 18 and barely looked back. I got sick of all the bullshit unnecessary drama.


Aside from brief stays with friends I've always lived alone. Other people just bring to down and the last thing I need is a roommate messing up my living situation.
 
It is only difficult if you have a slack back support network.

Money trumps most reasons people play a game, so yeah, for some of us being locked in and locked down is hard.

I'd rather bum a Newport from a basehead. Did I tap and send that? Sure I did.

Did I mean it?

The world may never know.
 
I think once you move out, you will quickly see the benefits of that freedom of lifestyle you seek.. sure there will be an adjustment period but as others have said, your in a position where money for rent isn't an issue. I would second what shimazu mentioned, if they are offering it for free.. would they be the type of parents to randomly check-in? I would take this into consideration, as the anxiety and stress of them randomly showing up might not be too far off the situation at home.

If anything it'll give you a chance to mature and develop your own sense of self.. i moved out at 18 for similar reasons as yourself; it wasn't on my own but with two friends.. i moved back home 3.5 years later because of my financial situation, but because i had a chance to live independently for so long when i came home i had a completely different view and understanding of my parents and family life..
 
I'm a first generation male that has some pretty FOB parents, so I know exactly where you're coming from. I moved away to college and I feel blessed and extremely lucky that my parents are taking care of all my finances. So I lived with a roommate for 3 years; I had to move out in November though b/c my roommate got in trouble with the law. It was boring and kind of depressing at first, I'm not gonna lie. But now that it's almost May and I've lived by myself for about 6 months, I truly enjoy it. It's nice to know you have a place that's completely your own. And hell, if you get bored/depressed, do what I do and go visit some friends.

It's an adjustment but you may be like me and end up liking it a lot.
 
I moved out when I was 17 and haven't moved back for any lengthy amount of time. (Once for a couple months but nothing more than that.) I love living on my own. Well, I've lived with roommates, lived on my own, lived in a dorm, and now live with my boyfriend. I would never ever go back to living with my parents.

I see my parents about once every month and I see my younger sister once every couple of months. I can text them, email them, call them, and Skype with them whenever I want. My parents live about 2-3 hours away so it's not too bad. They don't "check up" on me all the time but they are there if I need them. My parents are not terrible or anything. We get along fine. We actually argued a lot when we lived together. Now that I don't live with my parents, we get along pretty well.

That being said, I'm not exactly a "social" person. I much preferred living by myself in an bachelor style apartment rather than have flatmates.
 
basically get your own place, pay for it with your own job and move on. anything where they are paying for it really wont be much different from living at home. i live with my mum at present at 26yrs but i pay her rent and we put money together on food. basically you need to pay your way or you will be viewed as a child.

become an adult
 
yes it's hard. but it's so much fun! it's really hard but it's everything on your terms if you're that way inclined. there are small compromises occasionally but yeah dude go for it asap - it's up n down, hilarious, awful, and scary, and exciting, and it's just real living, standing on your own 2 feet.
 
Max Power said:
get a cat.
Click to expand...

That's actually a really good idea. I got a hamster and he kept me company while I was alone. Not as annoying as roommates (IMO) but he kept me company. He still does. I couldn't have cats/dogs in my last place and I probably don't want that much responsibility. But my hamster is awesome!
 
I love living on my own. I was totally happy when I got out of the house. My sis got stuck with my mom a lot, and she would call my hysterical because of my mom, and I would let her come over and stay with me. Your brothers could do the same.

You're kinda getting it the easy way, but baby steps are fine too.

My advice if you are on a budget is to figure out all of your bills, add them all up, then you know how much you need to pay for the basics, and then the rest is yours to play with.

I don't think I could ever go back to living with my mom.
 
My cat needs a certain amount of space. I like being able to let him out to do a number 1 or 2.

I love that pussy.
 
It's sound like your parents are giving you a perfect opportunity to take the next step in life.
Moving out of the Mommy Hotel will eventually help you learn to be an independent human being who can look after herself without any help from anybody else, thank you.
Of course you should move out when the conflict becomes too great. Just don't expect it to be a holiday. You will have to wash your own clothes, clean, wash the dishes, cook and keep yourself entertained. That's called life!
 
hell no!!! having your own place all to yourself, no roommates, sounds ideal to me! and you dont even have to pay rent EVEN BETTER. With roomates, sure you are less lonely but you dont have to share your space, worry about someone bitching at you,complaining, cleaning after others, dealing with their sketchy guests/ stupid friends, drunken annoying antics, you get everything all to yourself!!!

you dont have to feel depressed and bored if you keep yourself busy! hopefully you have a job and school to occupy your time with. You will realize having your own place a relief. No one to answer too. You will be able to wake up in the morning and not have to worry about your mother bitching you out.

After moving out at 18, I have made every effort never to move back home with my parents again and my life is 1000X better . Good luck!!!!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top