On stimulant drugs at home i get a very different feeling from compared to a club and im not sure why. At home in my room i will do a stimulant drug, it will start of good, but then i start getting very wierd. My muscles go into a state of permenantly tensed up and they wont stop tensing. They start to ache after a while. I also keep looking at my door, because i keep thinking somebody is going to come in, and i keep taking out my earphones because i think somebody is knocking on my door.
Other things include me not wanting to move around because im worried about banging, also its something as silly as, not wanting to play a video with flashing lights on my monitor because it might be seen from other people in the house. I just simply cannot relax or enjoy it.
Funny little side story:
My earphones wire was too heavy and dragging on me so i spent literally 4 hours trying to find out a way to take the load off the wire. I had a massive ball of string and spent hours tieing knots and loops to other objects in the room. I have an overhead fan and i was trying to tie some special knot to make it so i couldnt feel the weight of wire, and the fan would take it all. I mean this sounds really silly i know, but i literally couldnt relax or do anything untill it was sorted. I would try and say to myself "forget it, its just a bit of weight on a wire", i would dance for about 30 seconds and then say to myself "ok this is too damn annoying i have to fix this". I eventually figured out the best way was to wear a tshirt and put the weight of the wire on the neck part of the tshirt. But at this point it was too late, i had already killed my buzz from the last 4 hours of doing that. It was all for nothing in the end.
In a club its a whole new story, no matter what dosage i do. I wont get any of the effects i just mentioned above, and the whole night will be amazing.
Is what im getting at home, just an extreme case of paranoia? I think it may have something to do with the fact other people are in the house too. Ive done it at home a few times and i get similar effects but never that bad to how i just described. Based on that i wont be doing it at home again, think its best to stick to clubs unless you have a free house. Im just glad i dont get paranoia in clubs.
Also, if anybody has any suggestions on how to maybe stop getting paranoia or to reduce it, so that i can do it at home again, id love to know. Thanks
Other things include me not wanting to move around because im worried about banging, also its something as silly as, not wanting to play a video with flashing lights on my monitor because it might be seen from other people in the house. I just simply cannot relax or enjoy it.
Funny little side story:
My earphones wire was too heavy and dragging on me so i spent literally 4 hours trying to find out a way to take the load off the wire. I had a massive ball of string and spent hours tieing knots and loops to other objects in the room. I have an overhead fan and i was trying to tie some special knot to make it so i couldnt feel the weight of wire, and the fan would take it all. I mean this sounds really silly i know, but i literally couldnt relax or do anything untill it was sorted. I would try and say to myself "forget it, its just a bit of weight on a wire", i would dance for about 30 seconds and then say to myself "ok this is too damn annoying i have to fix this". I eventually figured out the best way was to wear a tshirt and put the weight of the wire on the neck part of the tshirt. But at this point it was too late, i had already killed my buzz from the last 4 hours of doing that. It was all for nothing in the end.
In a club its a whole new story, no matter what dosage i do. I wont get any of the effects i just mentioned above, and the whole night will be amazing.
Is what im getting at home, just an extreme case of paranoia? I think it may have something to do with the fact other people are in the house too. Ive done it at home a few times and i get similar effects but never that bad to how i just described. Based on that i wont be doing it at home again, think its best to stick to clubs unless you have a free house. Im just glad i dont get paranoia in clubs.
Also, if anybody has any suggestions on how to maybe stop getting paranoia or to reduce it, so that i can do it at home again, id love to know. Thanks
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