Hey, sorry to hear you had a relapse with that. Compulsive and problematic behaviors can be really hard to get a handle on. I'm not sure I've ever fully let self harm go, although things have gotten a lot better, I think it just manifests in different ways than it did when I was younger. I really had to work on a lot of personal shit through extensive therapy, and working on developing more positive behaviors that weren't so self indulgent. I believe instant gratification is kind of tied in to self harm, and it's a really tricky subject.
But yes, this is the sub forum to talk about that in, I'm just gonna put a prefix on your post to label it.
I caught you on another post, but there you'll find a link to our directory of threads here:
Post in thread 'Ideation & Crisis Support'
https://www.bluelight.org/community/threads/ideation-crisis-support.893373/post-16244439