Let's say I take a pain pill every few hours until I go to bed.
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What I'm wondering about. Maybe taking my pain pills at the same time every day had made me dependent on it and I should instead chance to taking it when my pains the worst? My issue here is in a recovering drug addict and I have real pain but more importantly I wish I had more pain medication because I like taking it. Guess that's drugs for you. But again my pains very real, but I wonder if I'm taking pain meds wrong I Don't likev to talk to my doctor about my pain meds anymore doses unwilling to switch medications, or increase then anymore which I understand she wants me to get used to what I have...
However it just feels scary I refill every 15 days and I'm always scared I won't be able too refill and I just wish I had extra pills to fall back on when refills come late or I can't get a refill appointment so I have to except getting my pills a day late. Which is 4 pills..
I dunno am I the only x addict who is forced to take pain pills. In a way I'm forced... I mean again the pains unfixable I go to physical therapy for it trying to make it better.... Dunno. Doctor's just think because I'm doing really good, it's job well done, let's stop trying to play games. Just Be happy... I dunno about that. Why Won't my mind just accept the treatment why do I keep thinking about my pain meds.
I don't know where you live but try to get on a bupre script, buprenorphine is actually pretty good for pain management, especially long term as it doesn't affect you the same way as full agonists do. You are much more clear headed, you can drive (at least here if you are stabilized on a dose you can), bupre is not moreish, I mean you literally just take it to prevent sickness.
It is also many measures safer than full agonists, much safer, even when mixed with benzos, it doesn't cause respiratory depression like other opioids, I mean it does but not even remotely close.
I don't understand how some people can abuse it, I tried snorting it, plugging it, it doesn't do anything from a recreational point of view.
I've been on bupre on and off since 2015, over here it's obviously free of charge for the patient, any citizen is entitled to treatment.
I pick up twice a month, I'm given 14 X 8 mg generic bupre tablets, 28 X 2 mgs generic bupre and 42 X 2.5 mgs lorazepam tablets (Lorans and Tavor brand). Over here lorazepam comes in 1mg and 2.5 mg tablets.
Here they haven't piss tested me since Covid arrived so since March 2020. Not that usually they care, back in 2017 I relapsed big time, I only pissed clean twice in the whole year.
My doctor used to check my urine results once every six months or so even though at the time I was on weekly pick up and was doing weekly urine tests that nobody bothered to check.
Over here they do not care about THC (actually some doctors actually support cannabis use as they have studies that show that patients who use weed are less likely to relapse), nor they are too bothered if you piss amphetamine metabolites.
If you don't have a job and you piss morphine and 6-MAM often, they might force you to go pick up the script every day.
But only if you are jobless, if you work, they are legally prevented from getting between you and your livelihood.
So if you work you obviously cannot go and pick up every day so even if you piss dirty every week most they can do is ask you nicely to stick to the script and maybe see a therapist once a week or so.
That June 2017 my doctor when she actually had a look at my piss tests, she begged me to at least try to give one clean urine sample...so I pissed clean for two weeks.
She had asked me to piss clean at least once, I said "ma'am I am going to do two weeks" she laughed as she didn't believe I could control myself for two weeks, but I managed. She was very impressed.
I don't think she ever looked at my urine test results ever again, now I have an even less motivated doctor. Over here they cannot get you off the script you can be on it for life if you so wish.
It's up to you to decide whether you want methadone or buprenorphine, they describe what they are and you are free to make your choice.
I picked bupre as I use a lot of benzos both scripted and self prescribed with online RC benzos like flumitrazolam, flu-alpraz, clonazolam, etizolam...I also do ketamine analogues fairly often I don't want to have bottles of methadone around the house or in the fridge.
I hope you find a clinic where you can get bupre, it's a lifesaver and is quite good for pain, obviously it lacks the euphoria of other opioids, I don't know in how much pain you are but it should cover your needs.
I don't know if you are in the States, I have heard tales of your medical system, I lived six months in NY, I knew people who could not afford to go to a doctor, they could only go to an emergency room and even there they are presented with a bill upon leaving. Insane.
Bupre is what allows me to function, which means I can work and pay taxes, 47% of my income goes to the government, so it all works out in the end.
Generic bupre is cheap as fuck and so are the benzos, with what I pay in taxes thanks to the fact I am on a maintenance program and can function like a normal human being, you can give daily bupre to my entire town.
Try to get on a bupre script, that would give you peace of mind, you could use your full agonists for one week, then next week use the bupre instead, that's what I was doing when finances weren't high enough for daily smack.
A supply of bupre will take the anxiety away, you know that if you run out of your other pain meds, you have a stash at home and can pick up more whenever you want. Counting pills hoping they last you is a nightmare, when I lived in NY, I was doing lots of hydros and oxy, but I always had tons of kratom, when I didn't have any I suffered quite a bit.
Buying a few kgs of kratom could also be useful, unfortunately they banned it over here.
Good luck man, sorry if I talked a lot about myself, but I'm on a weird batch of 2-fdck a ketamine analogue, but this batch is contaminated with a stimulant. They just banned a dozen cathinones and other amphetamine analogues in the land of the tulips, the vendor had written offering heavily discounted uppers as otherwise they would have to destroy them.
I think they just got rid of them by mixing them with other products.
