with psychedilcs (weed, MGS):
to get to know myself:
- memories from childhood flood back, showing me what experiences make me up, and how my mind worked at that time
- as the post above me said, greater reference for the sober state
- my mind has taken on a tremendously visual quality, i can see my emotions and feelings and thoughts turned into relevent images whenever i want, whether to help understand how my mind is at a particular moment or just for fun, kind of like feint hallucinations
- much more personal knowledge revealed
to be happier:
- the world is much more colorful, beautiful, amazing
- i see much more in nature and art and math
- where before i had almost no emotion now i have some (i can get scared if walking through my basement in pitch black now, i can almost cry in movies now, etc)
- MUSIC is insanely awsome
with alcohol: nothing but delirium
although i am quittnig drugs for a few months to see if my short term memory increases so i can do better at school (ive always had a terrible short term memory and a weak attachment to reality, but i want to see if drug use has made it worse) my psychedeilc use has definitly been well worth it