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Social Is Abuse Gendered?

bird.is.the.word said:
Anyone who questions the OP is an abuser and hates women??? WTF
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“TripSitterNZ” said:
People trying to justify any sort of abuse need to look in the mirror and realize they are a abuser and hate women.
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No @bird.is.the.word, only those trying to justify abuse do.

So if you are questioning the OP WITH THE PURPOSE OF justifying abuse, then yes you are at minimum an abuse apologist.
 
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arrall said:
No @bird.is.the.word, only those trying to justify abuse do.

So if you are questioning the OP WITH THE PURPOSE OF justifying abuse, then yes you are at minimum an abuse apologist.

Let’s please take these debates elsewhere. This is not the place for them and there will be zero tolerance for thread derailing going forward.
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I think maybe things have just been worded badly because it's a confusing/difficult issue for men who aren't abusive.. And I think being confused and saying things awkwardly is *lot* better than #NotAllMen. The reason women involved in discussions about domestic violence hate "Not All Men" is because we *know* and are sick of adding disclaimers in case men get offended.

The Twitter thing I posted was after an incident in 2020 in Australia.. A man had just killed his three children, their mother/his ex and himself. The details were so horrific I won't repeat them here but the woman's name was Hannah Clarke/Baxter.


I'm really not sure whether I'd say abuse is gendered or not (my own mother is emotionally abusive and my father isn't).

But violence is and it's committed by men. In Australia a woman is killed every week on average by a man she knows (partner or ex usually). Men are bigger and stronger than women. That's the bottom line.

 
I have heard from few psychologists that male violence is more on the physical side, but that women are almost equally abusive just their type of abuse is more psychological and thus less visible. Being passive aggressive or right out emotionally abusive doesn't cause bruises so it is much harder to prove. But according to the sources I have listened and read in the past abuse is phenomenon that isn't gendered defined - the type of abuse is.

This is something I heard and read but didn't really study so I could be waaay off.
 
@AbbeyLee

Statistically African Americans commit more acts of violence than white Americans.

Am I wrong assuming you're using the same logic about men vs women?

You're generalizing about a group of people based on stats, right?

Should we do that about Mexicans too?

What am I missing here?
 
I will say that I anecdotally have witnessed just as much (if not far more) female on male and male on male domestic violence than male on female DV as a teenager/young adult living in a “liberal” Western city.

I know men who have been beaten, drugged, and raped by their female partners.

But what I really don’t get is why this has to be a one or the other debate. Men can abuse women. Women can abuse men. Women can abuse women. Men can abuse men. It all happens. Men do seem to be far more likely to outright murder an intimate partner. But 40-50% of domestic violence victims are men. That is no insignificant number.

Doesn’t helping victims of one sex help all other victims to some extent? A rising tide in which we are more supportive of and helpful to victims lifts all ships. Helping male victims doesn’t take away from female victims. If anything, it helps both by bringing more awareness to the issue of domestic violence as a whole.

I think a better point of this discussion is figuring out how to support all victims as a society. Male victims are often laughed at and not taken seriously, especially by the police and social workers. Very few shelters will take them. They are far, far less likely to disclose or admit the abuse (even to themselves) or seek help.

Traditional gender roles can oppress men just as much as women. And unfortunately some feminists have dealt with so much oppression and sexism from men that they forget that some men don’t have things any better than they do. Patriarchy only helps the wealthy and powerful men. It does fuck all for you if you are a working class black male living in poverty.
 
bird.is.the.word said:
@AbbeyLee

So you are making statistical generalizations about men but not black people. Okay.
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"Statistical generalisations"? LOL. They're numbers eg. 90% = 90/100 or 9/10 or 0.9

Granted, I haven't investigated blacks and violence, but there's no obvious reasons why blacks would commit more violence.


As I said, men are bigger and stronger than women:




Men also have more testosterone which is linked with aggression. That's why there are many more men in prisons than women -- because they commit way more violent crimes (against other men as well obviously):


Inmate Gender

Statistics based on prior month's data -- -- Last Updated: Saturday, 9 July 2022

Gender# of Inmates% of Inmates
Female10,6806.8%
Male146,71493.2%


BOP Statistics: Inmate Sex

www.bop.gov www.bop.gov
 
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