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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Involuntary Suicide

Sadness is a drug in and of itself, overdose is suicide I guess. Its something about morbidity that grabs hold of me, is so attractive. But sometimes real life and fantasy blur and feelings grow stronger than they should.
 
I feel like Robert Archter

Sometimes I feel like my life is a movie and things are cinematic. No doubt because of the drugs. I like sad movies but at the same time I want to be around to hear the reviews you know?
 
JasperTheReckless said:
I feel like Robert Archter

Sometimes I feel like my life is a movie and things are cinematic. No doubt because of the drugs. I like sad movies but at the same time I want to be around to hear the reviews you know?
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Me too. I feel like everything is this fucked up prank life is making me play along with by watching everything happen around me. It sucks to think that everyone is probably in a better state of mind than you are, and I'm over here thinking about different ways to end my life while in the middle of work or class. Isn't it weird that depression is "attractive", as you put it? Maybe its because we are used to it or something and it's all we know. I don't know, but I completely get you on that note.
 
JasperTheReckless said:
I feel conditioned to view any sort of happiness as a temporary thing. Pain is the constant and happiness is a speck of dust in the wind here and there.
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It is true that happiness is temporary but it is also true that suffering is temporary as well. The most powerful transformation for me came when I began to intentionally feel gratitude for and celebrate my moments of happiness with the same focus that I had always been able to give to my moments of pain. Because happiness feels good and suffering does not we end up in a trap of living in fear (that happiness will end, be taken away, never return, etc) which sends us right back into suffering even in the midst of feeling good. The trick is to stop, notice, appreciate and fully experience those moments of happiness from the smallest things. I swear they have a way of snowballing when you can let yourself do this. It's not at all what western culture teaches us to do so it makes sense that it is difficult but it becomes easier and easier with practice.
 
All I've got really is: Find distractions! It doesn't really matter what they are. Make yourself go do something.
 
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