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Introduce Yourself

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New here and since im gonna start my comedown I figured TDS was place for me haha
I completely agree with Anjalimaya & know what ya goin thru.
But im throughly impressed with this website & si tha kful
To have a place where I can talk to people that fukin understand what in goin thru.
I cry about 3-4 times a day & I believe it is because I had my last opiate in Jan 1st..
Op Comedown worse
Than the norcos 3-5 a day cus we getting down to nothing. Enuf to last till this sat or sun :-(
But a few box & mdone to help
Thru... Anyone know what I should take 1st?? The suboxone or the
Methadone? Which is harder to Come off of?? I just want to like life again. So sick of being dependent / addicted to something I can't control. Been fukin around with it all since age 16 and yes nothing is worse to control than ops.
Much love & respect to all!!
 
Hey I'm Jase. Been around these parts for years under various names. Finding some comfort in TDS lately. Thank you all for being open and honest and not afraid to let the ugly stuff out.
 
I have been posting in TDS for a little bit now so i thought i would take the time and introduce myself this morning. I absolutley love TDS. I love to read and post. I have been an opiate addict for 10 years. Just had my 30th birthday. I am on methadone maitenence which has been life changing for me. It has allowed me to be a good mom a good wife and i can actually look myself in the mirror these days and like what i see:) I am a stay at home mom i have two beautifull little girls and three stepsons who my husband and i are raising!! yes i know the brady bunch!! I have been blessed with the man of my dreams my husband is so good to me. I am a happy person i have long curly curly hair and TDS has helped me alot in my life i feel like i have finally found people i can relate to and that feels really good.
 
hey curlygurl! I've been diggin' your posts. Its nice to hear more about you

Its kind of nice to here of someone who has an understanding partner. That rocks!
 
hey everyone im empty1 , im 6 years clean from being a homeless heroin addict , for many years i could not get that needle out of my arm , i have found bluelight to help me in many aspects from education to peace of mind , thank you bluelight , and my heart goes out to all who fight the battle
 
Hi empty1, it's always great to hear success stories! Congrats on getting clean, and 6 years is an excellent feat! <3
 
Introducing myself

I have been a constant lurker for awhile now. Finally decided to introduce myself.

I am an addict, DOC being hydrocodone or oxy -- any narcotic pain med. I am actually prescribed percs. I am supposed to take 8 10/325's a day, but usually end up taking about 12 a day. I end up short at the end of the month and get by on kratom until it's time to get my script again. I'm also on Lyrica, which I do not abuse. I will add my experiences (twice now) on the big Lyrica thread of horrible w/d when I ran out of Lyrica short of refilling my script and will never allow myself to do that again. Lyrica w/d are absolute hell and not even oxy helps.

I don't want to give myself away too much, but I will say that I'm a mom and married. I quit my job in August and am now staying home w/ our youngest. I don't hide my use from my husband, but I don't really know what he thinks -- I mean whether he knows I use too much or what. He just never says anything about it. When the doc first put me on the oxy, I made it sound like it might not be a permanent thing to hubby, and then when I got my script refilled a few times, he did say he didn't like it, but nothing has really been said since then.

I was also recently put on MS Contin and am wondering if I do end up running out of my oxy early, can the MS Contin help w/ any w/d symptoms I may have? Now that I do not have my own income, buying the kratom is going to be difficult, if not impossible. I always did it out of the separate account I had so hubby never knew about that.

Like I said, I pretty much am constantly reading & learning on here. Cool place. I don't feel so alone in my addiction b/c there is no one in my life that knows anything about it. I guess I should actually add also that about 3 years ago, I did a stint in rehab after doc shopping for awhile & being on hydrocodone for quite awhile, but then one of the docs caught on & I wasn't able to keep getting any & reached out for help, was sent to an AA meeting & there was a girl there that had just gotten out of the rehab here so I decided to give that a shot. I came out of there extremely depressed, crying all the time & then taking Tramadol constantly. It wasn't long before I got back on the hydro train.

At this point, since I'm actually scripted my meds, I don't have any plans on quitting to be honest. I really don't know what my long-term plans are as far as staying on this stuff for the rest of my life or not. Oh, the reason I'm scripted these meds are b/c I have postherpetic neuralgia, which is usually permanent.
 
hi cadeblue! I wanted to say 'hello' earlier but sometimes posting from my phone is a pain in the ass!

I dig that there are folks that have decent relationships with their mates despite the drug use. I think it certainly speaks to character and is a true sign of love. Congratulations on that!

I agree that BL (TDS specifically) makes me feel not so alone as well. There are a great many decent folks here (with a spattering of guest appearances from assholes) who have so much intelligence and experience it never stops me from being amazed.

I'm looking forward to reading more from you!
 
Hi! I'm new and I live in Toronto, Canada. Been doing heroin for year and a half. Right now I am broke and my relationship with my boyfriend (who I live with) if falling apart. I am looking for a forum about heroin use and couples. Since we started shooting last month, everything has downward spiraled very quickly. He lies to me and hides the drugs from me. Meanwhile I share 50/50 (or more in his favor) ALL the time. I am not a liar and I just cannot lie to loved ones. I see when he is sick and I have a soft heart so I want to help him. Instead, when we get in a fight because of his lying and such, he just shoots all the drugs so that I get sick the next day becasue we have nothing left. He is unemployed and I have a professional full time job. I cannot let this affect my work. But when I get sick from WD, I cannot function. I have an appointment at an addictions clinic this week and I'm hoping to get suboxone. But I don't know how I am going to function until then.
I'm sorry for blabbing. NONE of my many friends know that I do drugs. I have no one to talk to. I think this website and forum is a god-send.
If anyone can direct me to a more specific forum on heroin and relationships or couples using, that would really be appreciated. Thanks....
 
Welcome to BL Dagny!
I hope things work out for you- you may find a good amount of info on opiate w/d here in TDS but you may also want to check out Sex, Love and Relationships for things on your relationship. While we do cover those type of things here, especially with things like your current situation, you may find SLR helpful as well.

Best of Luck and please keep us posted on how you're doing!!
 
Terri here
25 year opiate addict...(any and all) last 9 years on methadone. Ive been clean 4 months.. absoultely miserable. LOL.. depressed, unmotivated, uncreative. I found you on google, seeking info on depression associated with opiate recovery.
sounds like Im not alone.
 
hey Terri, 4 months is a long time... give it some more time and it does get easier and better. Learning how to accept and deal with the realities of life without our typical escape route can be tough but, approaching life with an open-mind and willingness (which you obviously have) makes it much easier.

Going through the pain of life's curve balls and the discomfort of change is the hard but that's how we learn. Just know that it all passes in time. Whenever you need support, we're here for you <3
 
Hello, I am by no means a new member, in fact many of you may already have read some of my posts, but to be quite honest I am not here to introduce myself. I am here to help, if I can.

delta_9 said:
I don't spend much time posting in TDS, and today I think I'd like to change that.

So I am officially volunteering any and all time available I have here @ Bluelight in the hopes of preventing suicide, self harm, or anything else of such nature. Or even if you're just feeling blue and need someone to talk to.

Of course, I will not post my phone number or any personal information here publicly, but if anyone needs support of ANY kind, send me a PM and if I am online(which I have been more of lately) you will get my personal phone number immediately.

I am 100% serious here and will copy/paste this in the suicide thread as well.

I very much hope no one ever has to contact me in this way, but I am more than willing to do whatever I can if someone does.

With Love and Respect <3
-d_9
Click to expand...
 
^big up to you d9

I definitely extend the same invitation to anyone who needs an ear :)
 
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