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Introduce Yourself

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Hey N3ophy7e (good dj), thanks for the warm welcome!

I wouldn't say that I have had any success in quitting because we have both never tried to quit for ever.

We have taken breaks before, umm I am not so successful in long breaks, I think my longest was 2 months, he has been able to do 6 months. I usually fall hard around the 1st month to 2nd month period and go on weekend binges for months, and sometimes these binges continue on into the week.

He is my biggest support when I try to quit and now he isn't there and refuses to talk to me, or see me. So this time I am pretty much doing this alone, his mum is really supportive though and has been keeping me updated.
 
It's good that you're able to take breaks. I'm the same with my drinking, I'll take breaks every now and then but pretty much fall straight back in to the habit after a few weeks.
What hobbies do you have other than meth/drugs? Back when I was using/abusing mdma it was hard to stop because literally every single aspect of my life was drug- and rave-related. It's almost impossible to expect you to quit for good if you've got things around you that are constantly reminding you of drugs. Know what I mean?
Do you have any friends who don't use meth?
 
New

Hi I am new to this forum and wanted to introduce myself. I have Bipolar disorder 2 :! Looking for support and maybe making a few friends along the way. :)
 
Welcome to the forum AngelsCrystals.

---
n3ophy7e

I don't really have any hobbies that somehow don't remind me of drugs or raves, I was going to say making Kandi, but then that just reminds me of drugs and gets me excited for new events and makes me fall off the wagon...
Sadly almost everything in my life relates to drug use.

I am lucky in having two friends who don't use Meth but I don't feel they would understand my addiction if I told them. One is completely Natzi about drugs and the other only uses pot, she kind of gets it but doesn't fully understand it.
 
Yeah I know exactly what you mean hun, you sound like where I was at about 3-4 years ago with MDMA. Maybe you could try hanging around your 2 friends who aren't really in to drugs more often, try and do non-drug-related things so it's not always on your mind. Back then I started hanging around my family a lot more so that intrinsically I couldn't talk about or even think about drugs when I was with them. It's all about distracting yourself :)
PM me if you ever want to talk about stuff <3


Welcome to Bluelight AngelsCrystals! <3
 
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Of course i am trash people, but they can be also very inventious. There, in a mental hospital(how this relates to drugs, hydrocodone) a dude who had build a water-land boat himself. He just explained how condensators and blablabla. It was totally weird, because he was a very cop seeming but there in mental hospital and was getting moved to mental prison hospital. He had been cutted to throat in the hospital near area and had almost died. What i mean, he was seemingly adult but short, very sadistic looking person but for some reason in there. He had a nerve disease and medicated with hydrocodone. It's possible that they count a stabbing into a self dangering and/or suicide attempt. And place a person like that into a mental prison hospital. Instead of a teenager acid wannabe dexme manne. I am very against those places, how it's possible society is up and so.

Those places/sites needs to be shut down. And the level of inbreed is too high on those countryside areas.
 
I was talking about ampbhibio-boat. Amphibious "blinb boat". The system and whole society is twisted in Finland completely with girlish gipsy trashes. That's it. Maybe some of you don't know about it, maybe young or lacking life experience because happy settling happened.

It's non-describle how stupid and, yes, physically ugly those people are. Because cousing fucking and a shirtbutton worshipping.

The man had built himself a land-water vehicle...Hey...i say after Chinese quit the buing of celly trashes world gets into global financial depression, it's not this days, mega-mass unemployement is normal standard(it started a little bit less than a decade after Soviet Union collapsed) And i'm not those, no-no-non-technology people but the "Finnish design" and everything ridiculous "claimed humanistic touch" collapses too when the beginning of a next medievals are showing up. Drug comment is that.

And that n3ophy7e deserves a classification..."A nice lady".

My suggestion of the Hunter Thompson clones/hat and clothes style direction from Johnny Depp movie...Anyone understand, he was a very critical and intelligent person, so i'd suggest those ppl have enormous load of courage and intelligence, and aren't fitting good into normal society but drug and anarchy related.
 
Hi everyone, new to the forums. been doin drugs on and off for the past 2 years, recently have picked up a nasty MDPV habit. Diagnosed ADD when I was 7, but have been unmedicated since I was 11. Also family history of severe alcoholism. I know I need to get my act together before I really fuck things up. looking for support. seems like its so simple, but i still havent had any sort of long term success with sobriety.
 
I am Phoenix
and as the name states i have risin from my ashes which was my days of an addict
Recently had a relapse and discovered that i really really do not want to go back to that type of lifestyle after MANY years out of it.
The thing i found here that i think i was seeking was a safe place to share and chat where people understood what i was dealing with and going through and had been through some or all of it etc.

Yea i know most would say hit a NA meeting but i am staying in a suburb that well most at the meetings are there to get a paper signed not cause they want to change and well after the meeting they all discuss who where and when and how they will get there and i do not want that danger in my life
So here i am at BL and TDS
 
Hello, I'd rather not say my name, but I'd like to just introduce myself to everyone and
say a little bit about my experiences with drugs up until now.

From my early teens, I've had very volatile mood swings, and started drinking heavily and using other drugs in an attempt to reverse them, and to not have to feel so terrible. I was eventually put on a cocktail of psychiatric medications, which evened me out, but made me want to use drugs still (particularly speed and cocaine,) because I felt that I was kind of dulled-out.

The dark side is very valuable to me because it is a community of supportive and helpful people (for the most part,) some of whom have had similar experiences to the ones I've had with drug use and mental disorder.
 
Orangutangpsychopa said:
And that n3ophy7e deserves a classification..."A nice lady".
Click to expand...

Thank you :) <3


Hi and welcome oloney14 :)
It's good that you're aware of the potential for things to go wrong, especially with your family's history of alcohol abuse. Where are you at with your MDPV usage at the moment? Are you able to, say, go for one day without it?

oloney14 said:
seems like its so simple, but i still havent had any sort of long term success with sobriety.
Click to expand...
It seems simple in theory, but man it's definitely not a simple task sometimes. But if sobriety is you want then just keep at it <3


Hi pheonix_risin, welcome to The Dark Side :)
So you relapsed and now you're back on the sober wagon? How long were you sober before? You've probably heard it a million times before but relapse is all part of the recovery journey <3
Good to have you here.


†∆† said:
Hello, I'd rather not say my name, but I'd like to just introduce myself to everyone and
say a little bit about my experiences with drugs up until now.
Click to expand...
Hi and welcome to The Dark Side :)
Thanks for sharing a bit of your story with us. What's your official psychiatric diagnosis, if you don't mind me asking? (you totally don't have to answer that if you're not comfortable doing so)
 
yeah I could prolly go a day without it, but god school is just about unbearable without it. cant focus for the life of me and generally pissed at everyone I see. I know its terrible that i rely on it, but i keep goin back to it for school. Like part of me still wants to try to moderate it and just deal with the comedowns and shit until the end of the semester so i dont kill my gpa
 
n3ophy7e said:
Hi pheonix_risin, welcome to The Dark Side :)
So you relapsed and now you're back on the sober wagon? How long were you sober before? You've probably heard it a million times before but relapse is all part of the recovery journey <3
Good to have you here.
Click to expand...

Yep and yea i know it is part of it Just that i had 8or 9 years I think since my last mess up. I have had times when i have just gotten the urge and took a trip and done a lil something but it would be a one day thing and I never really counted that as a relapse YEA I know my rationalizing and justifying
This time it went for a week and I actually Iv'd i have not IV'd since 1994 and well it snatched me back so fast and hard that my head spun
BUT than all too fast that one vein died and the h turned to garbage and I said WTH am i doing and I walked away and got ba k on the wagon

Yea I know all too well that relapse is part of it and I have worked through many a craving but sometimes it seems just so strong and I get so freekin bored and well poof there I go
I think i need solid friends but than well i also am not experienced with that whole social thing when i got clean i was determined to put myself in to my kids and well that is how I have spent all my time
and now i am well socially dysfunctional
 
oloney, I can understand that man. How long until the end of semester??


pheonix, it's great you're back on the wagon after your little relapse. I know what you mean about feeling socially dysfunctional, but it's more just that you're out of practice hun. Socialising doesn't come naturally to some people BUT the more you practice the better you get at it, and more importantly the more comfortable you get with socialising. It's hard to bite the bullet and get out there at first though, I know. Have you got maybe one or two closer friends who could take you out to meet the rest of their friends or something?
 
hi.. i've been on this forum for a year or so under different aliases.. never really posted much.. but oh well.

i'm from germany, now live in argentina... 26yrs old... dunno, what else? :)
 
Hello to all. I am new to BL, and just registered after spending most of 2 days reading the entire Opiate/Heroin thread on TDS. I found them to be inspirational, and in some cases heart breaking, but appreciated the honesty in all cases.

I am doing great now, but have been using opiates for my fractured/hurneated back for 8 years. Up until a couple of months ago was taking 300 40 mg Opana ER, 90 80mg Oxycontin, and 90 30 mg Oxycodone a month (most of which were prescribed). I then decided it was time to either get on with it and jump to heroin, or be done with it all together. Probably a good thing I don't have a source for H, but imagine a trip downtown would fix that quick.

Needless to say to most everyone here it was quite the battle to get to using none of these today......it CAN be done, just hard to dig out of that hole. To all in the struggle, I wish you much luck and love.

Peace,
Johny O
 
n3ophy7e said:
^^ Hi and welcome :)
What brings you to The Dark Side?
Click to expand...

hi :D

I like the forum a lot, it has great info, that's how i got interested.

i have depression and anxiety issues, i'm addicted to benzos and i abuse cocaine (in the sense that I take it in order to numb emotional pain, not on a day-to-day basis)

i just feel like incredibly frustrated with my life at this point and I really don't have anyone whom I could talk to about this stuff :(

i don't know, it's a silly example that happened to me just today, i had been dating a girl i really liked for about 2 weeks and today she told me that she had feelings for her ex-boyfriend and we shouldn't see each other anymore and the moment she said it i was only thinking about how this justifies me getting some coke for the night and going crazy with it.... i feel ppl here can relate to that kind of behavior.. but who else?? parents? friends? psychiatrist.. they don't understand.. the one time I talked to my psychiatrist about ecstasy she went on to explain how my brain gets irreversibly damaged like squeezing an orange (wtf?) well.. here i am :)
 
^^ Yeah I can relate to those kinds of thoughts/feelings. There are plenty of people right here in TDS who you can talk to, any time of the day. You are never alone on here :) <3


Hey Johny O, welcome to The Dark Side <3
It's good to hear you're doing better with your usage at the moment. How's your pain condition going?
 
Hey everyone. I'm relatively new to posting, but not new to BL whatsoever. Been following for years, finally joined. Today I found out again I am getting kicked out by my family. My part time job doesn't cut it, got no where to go again.

Story of my life. Pack up and get out.

Just ranting because no one else gives a fuck. :)
 
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