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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT | paranoid android

insomnia and benzo withdrawal.. cant lay down without panic attack

guys for anyone who is going through what I am dont go to opiates. I did some shit today and i feel like i wanna die. IM so sad. Ive been messing with opiates a lot and i think im gonna withdraw off that too. IF anyone has aim and wants to talk pm me your aim. I just dont know what to do anymore. Bless all of you who have tried to help me and thsoe who are in hell with me. Om Mani Pema Hung. May no other being suffer like this.

"you don't deserve to be lonely
but those drugs you got won't make you feel better
pretty soon you'll find it's the only
little part of your life you're keeping together"
 
this summer i tried quitting both at once. OUCH. didn't work

i reccomend using "maintenance" dosing with the opiates while you get off the benzo's

i usually forget to save buddies to the buddy list (am a proud absent minded stoner)... give me an IM if i'm on
 
will do qwe. Im lowering the valium to one mg today and upping the lyrica to 150 mg in the afternoon. I dont even know where to get opiates let alone do a maintainence dose. Got no money either. I tried asking my doctor to replace my welburtin with tramadol or subutex cause they help immensely but he wouldnt do it.
 
Your a diamond in the rough man... Its so obvious to I think all of us here that there is so much light in you. Its just under some heavy duty suffering atm... Stick with it and eventually you will move with ease throughout life!
oh oh and try to learn not to worry about things. Its been a skill that I was pretty much forced to learn. So many crisis in my life have made it necessary for me to just accept things.

It gets to the point where when terrible thigns happen to you, you laugh at the ridiculousness of it and don't get all mopey.
 
yeah my ex just told me shes doing much better now that im gone...she says shes finally happy and free. lol.. I was nothing but good to her. My life is like a joke. A not particularly funny one. you just gotta laugh/ I appreciate that draigan but I see nothing good in me.. people wouldnt constsantly treat me this way if i was good. I wil;l crawl away now. Bless you all
 
duneplanet said:
yeah my ex just told me shes doing much better now that im gone...she says shes finally happy and free. lol.. I was nothing but good to her. My life is like a joke. A not particularly funny one. you just gotta laugh/ I appreciate that draigan but I see nothing good in me.. people wouldnt constsantly treat me this way if i was good. I wil;l crawl away now. Bless you all
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she doesn't understand that your personality change is temporary and how long-term the changes are that drugs to do the brain

most non-drug users don't understand this stuff at all, and have insane myths about it instead

you'll find someone better and more understanding and capable of waiting for you
 
either that or shes just a bitch lol

it's ok im used tot his. ive pretty much already been to hell literally so this aint shit. it isnt wonderful but ive been to hell on earth for fucks sake. thank you for your wisdom qwe, it is always appreciated. I think dilaudid may be a good friend of mine soon/ SOmetimes there is only one way to feel good
 
ive noticed that upping the lyrica has made my hppd worse. or could that be lowering the valium? IM getting some pretty decent visuals. I havent seen darkness or heard silence in 5 or 6 years tho so it doesnt bother me as much
 
img etting crazy thoughts tho... Like i feel like im ont he verge of psychosis. IDK everything scares me. I was playing red dead redemptuion and i started to feel so weird that the game scared me
 
this is normal in benzo w/d

i thought lyrica might be bad for HPPD symptoms since alcohol is. FYI, benzo's mask HPPD, so you're in for a rebound

enjoy the colors. what else can you do?

if you are able to take your heightened senses and sped-up-thinking and have fun with them (as if you're on meth... which you sort of are in a way) you will be able to relieve or not think about a lot of that body stress

i know it feels almost psychotic, and some do have psychotic breaks from abrupt discontuation. thoughts "all over the place" right? you're way over-stimulated, it'll go away but IMO clonidine might be better than lyrica/neurontin for you (or both...)
 
duneplanet said:
yeah my ex just told me shes doing much better now that im gone...she says shes finally happy and free. lol.. I was nothing but good to her. My life is like a joke. A not particularly funny one. you just gotta laugh/ I appreciate that draigan but I see nothing good in me.. people wouldnt constsantly treat me this way if i was good. I wil;l crawl away now. Bless you all
Click to expand...

People treat everyone like shit. Doesn't matter if you are Christ, apparently...

thats so funny that she says shes happy and free... I had an old friend(who I wasn't the nicest too, but it went both ways...) tell me the other day Flat Out "You Are Evil."

I said yes, yes I am.. uggh. Gota stop identifying with that stuff :p It will just pull us down man. Your not evil man. Your just human and under all sorts of mental fabrications..
 
duneplanet said:
img etting crazy thoughts tho... Like i feel like im ont he verge of psychosis. IDK everything scares me. I was playing red dead redemptuion and i started to feel so weird that the game scared me
Click to expand...

eh I get like this. Too many psychadelics on my part I think... It often happens to me when I am on the subway or bus and its late. Everyone looks so god damn miserable and scary. I feel like they would devour my soul if it benefited them in any way...

When I am like that, everything freaks me out. It mostly happens when I am in withdrawal. That goes away though.
 
I just went through this a month ago, but it was more mild then normal because I tapered. However I still had trouble sleeping and a racing mind. It goes away after time, the best thing I did was stay outdoors, work, that kept my mind off of it.

Try drinking sleepy time tea, and taking valarian, it definently helps alot! Most of all be positive it's not the end of the world.
 
As I've stated in a couple of other posts, I'm an addict in general, but mainly with "down" drugs rather than "up" drugs, and I can honestly, without a doubt say I would rather come off of morphine cold turkey than to come off of benzo's again. I was prescribed 3mgs a night of clonazepam for 14 friggin years only to be cut off of them to attend rehab, they treat benzo's now as bad if not worse than narcotics. I now have a solid supplier that gets me 7, 2mg tabs of clonazepam a week, my advise to you, if it can be done, is taper very slowly, as slowly as you possibly can. Check into valarian root tea, and ask your doctor to give you a script for gabapenitin, it seems to work not too badly, but all in all, I wish you well, and hope you can do it without too bad of a time. Peace
 
well teh good news is the doc is gonna let me stay on 1 mg of valium for 3 weeks. Would you all hop off after 1 or go to .5? I know 1 mg of valium is equal to 2.5 librium which is nothing.

and thank you for your support guys, and I can really relate draigan/
 
so damned lonely :( i was using opiates to mask the pain all week and now im feeling it. I have no girl that loves me or cares about me, and have few friends that truly give a shit about me. Idk what to do. there is no longer a time during the day that I feel ok. I just smoke cigs and smoke and smoke
 
go to 0.5, then 0.25, then every other day, when ready or necessary

opiates do help but be careful if you find consistent access
 
my doc wants to keep me on 1 mg for 2 more weeks but I think on the last week ill go to .5. Man I hope I can heal on the lyrica cause I still dont fucking feel better. My worry is that cause of the lyrica i wont heal, and 8 months from now im gonna be withdrawing from lyrica just cause ive gotten so tolerant to it. I see no light at the end of the tunnel anymore. I dont see myself feeling better anytime soon. Just gotta push through I guess. Shame I had to get dumped during thkis it is just making it worse. ANd yea im worried im gonna get addicted to opiates cause i can get them now. Ill be doing them a few times a week only, but i feel like i deserve peace for at least one or two days a week
 
Duneplanet you are one hardcore mfkr let me tell you that. And if you think for a second that you're not seriously helping other people on this forum you are wrong. You are helping A LOT of people.
As far as lyrica delaying wds I think it will, but I also think it will only delay specific symptoms of wd. Lyrica effects gaba as we all know, but its still such a different drug compared to benzos.
One thing I know about lyrica is it doesn't actually make me feel good or happy. It more or less kills anxiety and pain, while depressing my CNS (sometimes more than benzos would). But with benzos for w/e reason I feel a noticeable euphoria. Thats why I think when you stop the lyrica you will prob have some anxiety, some issues sleeping, but I still can't see it being as intense as the valium wds.
The whole point really should be to just get off the valium first. Stablize on the lyrica, then continue dropping again. But you still may wanna stay on one dose of lyrica for a bit after stopping the valium completely.
I know lyrica has wds, but I still can't imagine them even being close to what benzos do. I've seen users on like 1200mg stop CT and go into pretty nasty wds, but you are tapering like any smart person should, and I don't think the lyrica battle will be anything like the valium battle.
Use the lyrica as a TOOL, then just taper off it at a rate YOU are comfortable.

And good going bro you're doing real good!!! Look forward to the day you're off everything and feeling well.
 
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