Inhalants fucked me up. Coming off Years of abuse

[Dudeonacid]

This is my first day clean off of my former drugs of choice (gasoline, duster) have been heavily abusing these OTC inhalants since i was 16 (now 19) i originally came to this site last week with logical and supporting information i now have realized how fucked up am i after getting advice from you guys on how dangerous inhalants are. Ive been working as a groundskeeper at a housing facility and am typing this message to blulite in the shed where this fucking shit all began. Im staring my past in the fucking face. These fucking gas cans i used to achieve spiritu based intoxication. I fell in love with the dissosciative factors of gasoline and now day 2 of being off it i feel like fucking shit. I have intebse cravings of one more huff and know i cant make it through day without hitting it. I dont know whats become f my life and in next couple weeks might just huff myself into a permanent coma one of these one day. I now have realized after temporarily ending the abuse the abuse was inseperable from nerve, heart and organ damage. Everyone knows the entire time i was destroying my body but no one even my coworkers and frienss did an intervention. They let me throw my future in fuckin shithole. I have wierd sense of touch i cant feel shit in my left hand my heart has sudden intense beating seshions on and off (feels like im having a heart a tack daily. My short term memry is fucked!! I stutter constantly im fucking pissed i destroyed single functioning body and precious organs with inhalants i was a smart kid with future now im going to huff myself into a walking vegetable. If im already going down the path why not finish what i atarted. Will the damage self heal over time? I need fuck answers man im over my head in this shit to huff or not to huff i am incredibly and hopelessly addicted to FUCKING GASOLINE. please message me with help or comment on post with advice please im done with this SHIT my brains fuckin fried

 

[Black Rabbit of Inle]

Hey man, it's good to hear that you are going sober

Inhalants have been proven to cause some serious damage over time, but thankfully our body and it's organs are pretty damn good at repairing themselves (with the exception of the brain). So to answer your question, yes, if you can stay clean for a few months your body will be healing itself.

It can't be good for you staring at your past all the time when you're working. It won't help with the cravings at all. Have you considered trying for another position elsewhere? I'm not saying quit your job on the spot. But if you can find other work that won't put you in harms way all the time it may be better in the long run.

Sometimes, coworkers and friends don't think they are in a position to help. It doesn't mean they don't care. I'll bet you'll notice how relieved/happy they will be when you can say you've been sober for x amount of time.

 

[gman2008]

I used to inhale butane gas when i was younger around14/15, i did it everyday for over a year. I stopped only when i had a near death experience and it was the most scariest experience of my life............I was sitting at my friends house with 2 cans in my mouth inhaling away when all of a sudden i kind of blacked out i woke up in hospital where they told me my heart stopped, all i remember of the experience was the feeling of melting in the couch. Later i was told by friends that i look like i was retarded and having a seizure at the same time while foaming at the mouth. Docters told me that the butane gas was freezing up my organs needless to say i never did butane gas again.
Mate i cant say if you stop you wont have irreversible damage, but what i can say is if you dont stop you will kill yourself. I personally did feel like i felt alot better that i stopped. Please get help and tc

 

[Dudeonacid]

Igreatly
Appreciate that support on my post! For now i will have to come to terms that my brain will not be the same it is completely utterly fucked! I do not plan on cutting off my inhalant use immediately cold turkey not way to aproach matters of this magnitude. I wi continue huffing gasoline maybe one more month or 2 and then ween myself off slowly greatly increasing my chance of the succuess! I really appreciate knowing blyelite supports me in uphill battle such as the fuck im facing. I do not know how this will go but for next few months i am continuing habit increase chqnce of success in longrun cold turkey is bad not good idea for quitting addiction! Thank you i will keep in touch this post witj progres and trip reports next few months!

Hey man, it's good to hear that you are going sober

Inhalants have been proven to cause some serious damage over time, but thankfully our body and it's organs are pretty damn good at repairing themselves (with the exception of the brain). So to answer your question, yes, if you can stay clean for a few months your body will be healing itself.

It can't be good for you staring at your past all the time when you're working. It won't help with the cravings at all. Have you considered trying for another position elsewhere? I'm not saying quit your job on the spot. But if you can find other work that won't put you in harms way all the time it may be better in the long run.

Sometimes, coworkers and friends don't think they are in a position to help. It doesn't mean they don't care. I'll bet you'll notice how relieved/happy they will be when you can say you've been sober for x amount of time.

 

[Dudeonacid]

Thank you so much for influencing my piece of mind brother. Its relieving to know my body functions will heal overtime and i dont necesary have to quit anytime soon but will make it a goal sometime in future. Just want to increase chances of one day kicking the habIt indefinitely. Please state any advice you have for aventually kicking this deadly habit! Inhalnt use does not go without risks bluelight keep my sucess story in mind i will make it with positive shit

 

[naughtynicknails]

Don't be afraid to tell your doctor and ask for help.. There may be something s/he can do to help..

Also like i said in your other thread: Healthy diet and exercise goes a looong way for improving physical and psychological well being as well as improving brain function.

Best of luck to you

 

[Black Rabbit of Inle]

While your body may heal over time, continued use increases the risk of irreversible damage. And while your brain may never be the same, that doesn't mean that it's completely fucked. Your cognitive function may seem damaged but it could just be that it's still impaired. Only sobriety (or a brain scan) will tell you how much damage you have or haven't done.

My advice would be to taper use sooner rather than later. Planning to use for another month or so is detrimental to the idea that you want to become sober. If you really want it you won't wait to do it.

Bluelight is a welcoming place. There is guaranteed to be someone who has been in your position before and who can give you advice. We all support each other as much as we can

 

[gman2008]

I read this some where and agree with it........

There is no safe way to huff any type of propellant (short of nitrous). Nor is there any "moderate" use of industrial chemicals as drugs - which is exactly what you're asking.

The "high" you feel when you concentrate and inhale a propellant is chemical intoxication. Unlike drugs, or alcohol, or even nitrous, the propellant is not changing the chemistry of your brain in a short, mostly reversible way. It is damaging brain cells and synapses in a fairly irreversible way. You are, in effect, getting high from toxic levels of solvents in your bloodstream.

On top of that, your liver and kidneys are seriously adversely affected by regular exposure to these solvents, not to mention the damage it does to your lungs.

In short - absolutely, no. There's a reason people wear respirators when they're working with spray paint, just as there's a very, very good reason there's a huge warning on all those Dust Off cans. Its because the solvents in the propellants are potentially deadly, and they're not drugs.

You're thinking (fairly) clearly now. Think about what it would be like to be half brain-dead, with a severe speech impediment, not capable of controlling your bowel movements. And think about what it would be like to live for decades like that - that is the damage you're risking, man. If you need to get high, get it from stuff that gets you there without putting you in a toxic chemical stupor!

 

[Black Rabbit of Inle]

Think about what it would be like to be half brain-dead, with a severe speech impediment, not capable of controlling your bowel movements. And think about what it would be like to live for decades like that - that is the damage you're risking, man.!

^this. In Australia there are colonies of (mostly) indigenous people with no access to alcohol due to being in a dry area. The majority of them have destroyed themselves with inhalants and gasoline and it's pretty sad to see. It's not something I would want anybody to have to live through.

 

[Dudeonacid]

Thank you much apreciated support! Bluelight is a very givomg community of addicts in my shoes. Never thought drug addicts really cared alot about other peoples situation!! I must ask can you tell from my typing my if i am noticably fried? People in real life and facebook too Say my talking typing is fucked i cant tell difference too much my only my indication of impairment is from from the others it is get somewhat easyer to notice quite still dificult and yes others feel i have permanint impediment fuck man

I read this some where and agree with it........

There is no safe way to huff any type of propellant (short of nitrous). Nor is there any "moderate" use of industrial chemicals as drugs - which is exactly what you're asking.

The "high" you feel when you concentrate and inhale a propellant is chemical intoxication. Unlike drugs, or alcohol, or even nitrous, the propellant is not changing the chemistry of your brain in a short, mostly reversible way. It is damaging brain cells and synapses in a fairly irreversible way. You are, in effect, getting high from toxic levels of solvents in your bloodstream.

On top of that, your liver and kidneys are seriously adversely affected by regular exposure to these solvents, not to mention the damage it does to your lungs.

In short - absolutely, no. There's a reason people wear respirators when they're working with spray paint, just as there's a very, very good reason there's a huge warning on all those Dust Off cans. Its because the solvents in the propellants are potentially deadly, and they're not drugs.

You're thinking (fairly) clearly now. Think about what it would be like to be half brain-dead, with a severe speech impediment, not capable of controlling your bowel movements. And think about what it would be like to live for decades like that - that is the damage you're risking, man. If you need to get high, get it from stuff that gets you there without putting you in a toxic chemical stupor!

 

[naughtynicknails]

^ Most bluelighters aren't addicts

 

[Dudeonacid]

Thank you thanks for continuus of my support! One day we will kick this habit of together!

 

[Phat5o]

hey man, don't wait a month or 2 to quit. start today. start right now if you can. taper if you can't do it cold turkey. this is obviously a big problem for you putting your brain and organ function at risk.. so i would check myself into a hospital/clinic if i were you. the sooner you stop the better and the more your body/mind will be able to get back to normal.

i wish you the best of luck forreal bro

 

[naughtynicknails]

^ Yeah going cold turkey (sorry.. missed this post) with solvents is the best way to go..

Continued use will result in more damage.. I honestly don't feel the tapering will do ANYTHING positive.. at the end you will just feel worse..

Sounds like you are trying to justify continued use by saying quitting cold turkey isn't good.. it isn't.. for high end addicts of most drugs.. but solvents? Yeah.. quit now.

 

[Dudeonacid]

]Its not its so easy to quit cold turkey much trouble ensues difficult shit i try but plan on continuing my habit for several more months before weening off. Od as od as it as sounds i feel huffing gasoline has brought me closer to god i have i have i had many spiritual glowing and experiences that HAVE brought have much joy in my life which is why i had experience today first huff of day and i had had experience and felt the path god chose for me not time to quit yet but he will will he help me in future ineed to continue stepping closer to him huffing gas is one stepping stone to complete spiritual enlightenmemt and self awareness. Read the read experiences on erowid. Significan gliwing and spiritual of of experiences tho. I have learned kne can one extremely complete destroy ones physic body and still be the most the of mentally enlightened person in the world because you dont communicate as often and just se solvents and delve closr of into inner awareness and higher consciesness. It may sound insane but i truly believe solvents specificay gasoline are a of a portal to another dimension my brother. The things you see and hear and and and your an environmant it is completely alien. Its a readily availae solven gasoline and you can use over use over and survive. Its a strange theory and i might be ony person onto it. Everyone has their has an own spiritual prefrence and method of inner awareness mine happens to be gasline. I will quit when the higher of higher the power sends me the intenal message i do appreciate your support though out check out y
Addicion recovery and tri report thread

^ Yeah going cold turkey (sorry.. missed this post) with solvents is the best way to go..

Continued use will result in more damage.. I honestly don't feel the tapering will do ANYTHING positive.. at the end you will just feel worse..

Sounds like you are trying to justify continued use by saying quitting cold turkey isn't good.. it isn't.. for high end addicts of most drugs.. but solvents? Yeah.. quit now.

 

[tripnotyzm]

That "spiritual experience" you get from huffing will be the end of you. Sorry to say, but you are not gaining any real enlightenment from huffing.
You are actually being poisoned.
Seriously man you are so young, you have recognized how messed up this habit is, listen to everybody and do something about it now.before you are permanently fucked.
Don't take your chances for another week or month, you are just going to keep yourself in the nasty moreish loop.

 

[InvisibleEye]

In Australia there are colonies of (mostly) indigenous people with no access to alcohol due to being in a dry area. The majority of them have destroyed themselves with inhalants and gasoline and it's pretty sad to see. It's not something I would want anybody to have to live through.

Same thing here in Canada. Native communities living in remote areas, especially in the Great North, have struggled with this problem for decades. Kids as young as 8-9 years old have been filmed by national TV crews inhaling gasoline, some of them losing consciousness only a few seconds after inhalation. It's one of the most destructive ways of getting high. The human body cannot recover from this kind of abuse. Inhaling gasoline is pretty much the worst thing you can do to yourself when it comes to using drugs (...that and injecting krokodil, of course).

 

[T. Calderone]

You should try to stop this now. People die from this stuff, especially duster. When I was really small, we had a neighbor guy who was into glue- the kind they build models with. I remember him holding a paper bag over his face and he didn't answer me when I tried to talk to him. I went home and told my mom. She told me that guy is a dope head and not to go over there again. I was a little kid and didn't really understand.

In the interest of harm reduction, there's other things to get buzzed on that aren't so poisonous.

 

[tripnotyzm]

So do you actually want to quit or are you going to just lay out the "positives" for us?
There's nothing good going on here.
You are hallucinating. There are safer ways to achieve spiritual awakening.

 

[Dudeonacid]

My brother my i am lovinng to quit but dont feel almighty lord has sent me tat vibe in yet now. I am am am a am planning om having a religious of religipus experience tonight with candles very reflexed huffing an environment i will njoy in an an attempt to contact my spiritualguide. The feeling im getting im getting im get is to continue only religious and religious spiritual use for 5-6 months then weeming then off of it it of. I feel like most of success will be achieved throufhgh through this route and my guide will guide will me. God is real annd im meetinf with him about this tonight. I dont see it as much as much as much as as an addiction more as as. My calling cards. My my of in purpose life where i am meant to go the the take path i must! I am lolki g througg so called so addiction factors and seeing this this as through an realiastick standpoint and logical viewpoint while not not in conflicting with my my spiritual religious outlet beliefs they are all i have gping for me and and my is incrediblly important to discover my more certain healthy future. God will clense wil me of my damages and re guide re my rong doings!

So do you actually want to quit or are you going to just lay out the "positives" for us?
There's nothing good going on here.
You are hallucinating. There are safer ways to achieve spiritual awakening.