Inescapable Debt Proving To Be A Major Factor In My Continued Suicidal State

dhcdavid

Ex-Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 24, 2004
Messages
777
Location
uk
Hi folks. I could really use some advice from those of you outside my situation who may be able to see some way through which I can't see right now on account of being in the middle of it all.

When I was a younger bloke (I'm now 35), I had a major gambling problem years and failed to meet my financial responsibilities.... which now means I owe one company £10, 000, one local council £3, 300 (in overpaid wages), another £600 an so on. (And student debts of some £20, 000 on top of that but at least with THOSE I can defer each year my mental/drug illnessses continue and I'm not earning the "threshold amount"...)

After overcoming my gambling addiction some 7 or 8 years ago I've been struggling to service these debts: managing for some periods to stave off legal action for periods of mulitple months or years but at other times - like NOW - unemployment and deep depression has caused me to flee from these fuckers harassing me all the times with letters and phone calls and threatening legal action and just bury my head in the sand.

Every letter is like another envelope of blackness and despair which I just put in the bin. I even emailed one of these companies a few weeks back and now can't even bring myself to re-access that email account to check the reply I'm dreading it so much.

When I Do engage with the companies they just don't get it: that I'm broke and simply CANNOT repay them. So I offer token amounts of, say, £5 or even in recklessness (because I can't afford that to all of them) £10 per month..... and they say"that's not enough....we need more".....and my despair deepens.

My despair about my financial situation - and my lack of progress job-wise and drug-addiction-wise - is so complete that I'm thinking of suicide everyday. I have the perfect technique worked out but I just can't seem to work my self up to do it. (Feel like I'm gutless and cowardly.....yet in lucidity I feel if I WERE to succeed it would fucking KILL my parents and brothers who love me very much despite all my fuckups..... my mum just keeps saying how proud she is that I'm no longer gambling and no longer on benzos.....)

PLEASE HELP ME.

I know how much wisdom there is among the members and guests of TDS and beg you all to understand how desperate I feel and how bleak my situation feels. At my core I really don't think I want to die.... despite many suicidal attempts over the years - and brushes with death such as a few weeks ago with sinitus when I was rushed to hospital after a paramedic took my ear temperture and recorded 32 or 33c, saying if I'd left it another few hours I could well have died - I still seem to be here and in brighter, happier moments realise how blessed and fortunate I am. Yet I can't seem to harness this positive energy to drag myself out of my multiple self-dug holes of despair.

SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME. Thankyou for taking the time to read my post.
 
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Man I changed my mind over the "perfect technique" recently... I nodded off on methadone and cut off circulation in a limb and it scared the shit out of me how long it took to come back to life once I awoke. I had previously considered how perfect high dose methadone+etizolam would be, but now I'd be terrified it would leave me a cripple unable to finish himself off.
 
You should be proud of yourself that you are no longer gambling.

Perhaps you should petition for bankruptcy. Are you familiar with bankruptcy laws in your country?
 
Well I'm glad you're still with us as well David. Please do not consider suicide, I know you are in a very tough spot in life right now but that won't help at all... bankruptcy actually sounds like a swell idea.
 
I'm in a similar, but a bit less bad debt situation because of alcoholism and reckless spending... I don't even open the letters I get from the creditors anymore, its too unpleasant to read them. I'm going to debt counselling (free service in my country) soon. I think I'm gonna end up in personal bankrupcy.

I've never gambled myself but my father is a pathological gambler, so I'm familiar with that problem, too.

I'm not planning suicide because of my debts and I don't think you should, either. I know that if I can just get sober first, I will somehow handle this problem... Maybe you should go to some support group so you can talk with others who are in similar situations:

http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/

http://www.debtorsanonymous.org/

Of course if you don't like '12 step' groups like these, there are probably many others.
 
Take a look at this BBC article.

There's a link there and a phone number for the Consumer Credit Counselling Service, a British charity that advises people with unmanageable debts.
 
HI there...Oh dear....I feel for you....Ive had this same thing for years..To the point where i didnt answer my phone to numbers that i didnt recognise...In Australia we have companies that loan you money to consolidate your debts, they will also freeze the interest and no matter what they say to you OP, they are COMPANY'S, of course they can take 10 quid a week/fortnight/month!...In AUstralia they MUST accept a manageable amount...Is there any chance you got something similar mate?....
 
To those who took the time to read my article and those who responded: thankyou so much.

It's true life would be exponentially worse if I were still gambling but that's not enough anymore. And I have just started to research bankruptcy laws in my country and, much to my chagrin, I don't even think I can afford the £550 (0r £750, depending on which site tells you) fee which is apparently a legally required fee in order to be declared bankrupt. I mean seriously..... whoever fucking heard of anything so stupid as having to come up with a large sum of cash when you're unemployed and trying to crawl out from under the heavy rock of debt.

I don't think a consolidation loan would be a bright idea even if my credit rating weren't so fucked that even a drunk lottery winner would hesitate before lending me any money, but thanks for the suggestion.

The BBC article was very helpful so thankyou.

Thanks again everyone. Anyone else? Anyone? Anyone?
 
Just go bankrupt, in the Uk it's easy.

Dont even think twice about it, think of the banks that fucked up a billion times more than you, they went for the big hand out, no shame, no guilt, no embarresment.
fuck it man, you have done your best, if it's destroying your quuality of life then jusr say that in your statement of why you are bankrupt.

Or... ring the creditors and tell them you are thinking of going bankrupt and would they accept 10 cents in the dollar, you may be surprised at what their reaction and response will be if you call their bluff, oh and start throwing all those letters in the bin, they will stop the moment you get a bankrupcy number, it's illegal for any of them to contact you again.

Good luck with it all bro, sounds like you are pretty tough and have a strong will, you'll get through this bro.
 
Its vitally important you make an appointment with a personal insolvency specialist right away. Normally a first consult is free.

There are many many options to pursue before considering bankruptcy, a specialist will explain these too you.

Do not assume that they can't help you or you can't afford it, because that is almost certainly not correct. Make an appointment ASAP.
 
Dave get straight to your local Citizens advice Beureau they will be able to help you i promise.
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They are helping me atm with debts & are very good .

Do it mate you won't regret it they have all the knowledge & give you legal aid .
 
I know it may only be slightly helpful, but please know that so many of us are in deep, deep debt. Though your problem may seem insurmountable right now- there are likely still several things you can do. Going to someone who is a professional in this field is vitally important. I think a post above mentioned going to a citizens bureau- do so immediately. Even if they can't solve your dilemma, it's likely they can point you towards someone even more knowledgeable. I know how you feel with the weight of debt upon you- I'm 50K in debt myself. Furthermore, being unemployed is a terrible stress your life and it's exacting a toll on your mental health in a dimension you may not be completely aware of. Is there a way you can also access mental health services? This is a lot of stress for one person to bear alone- I think it might be a good idea to talk this out a bit with a therapist.

Believe me, I know how you feel- I was long term unemployed and deeply in debt. It wreaked havoc on my feeling of self-worth, made me feel useless. It was hard for me to feel otherwise- yet it was a false belief. Don't let yourself succumb to despair- you can still turn this thing around. PM me if you ever need to talk.
 
Personally I've never answered telephone calls from numbers I didn't know, and I've numerous debts over the years that I just blew off, they disappeared. After 7 years in the USA they don't show up on credit reports anymore. It's not once bothered me in the slightest that banks, creditors, insurance agencies, etc. thought I owed me money or sent me harassing letters. I don't consider myself to be obligated to do anything, and nobody is able to force me to recognize the debts.

If you're unemployed and penniless, it's not like they can garnish your wages or put a lien on your property right?
 
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