In the dog house with the girly and need a way out

[lman_15]

Long story short, me and my girl are "friends with benefits", previously had a one-one and a half year relationship. I fucked up recently not going to get into the details but fukced up pretty bad i'm seeing her friday and sleeping over (hopefully not on the coach). I was going to bring her flowers (4 pink roses and 1 white rose in the middle), give her a candle lit messege, then make her dinner. Is that an adequate I fucked up please forgive me jesture or should I do more? Also, my girl likes to eat healthy (she's skinny but is obsessed with thinking that shes over-weight shes like 5 foot 7 and 110-115 pounds, def don't see anything wrong with her) but she won't eat anything that is slightly unhelathy, what's a nice homecooked meal that is A healthy and B realistic for me to make?
what else could i do to make the night more "special"?

 

[psychoblast]

1. For the meal, you have a ton of options. I'm guessing you want some meat, since you did not mention being vegetarian. The easiest meat I can think of to cook, believe it or not, is shrimp. You get about 10 medium size shrimp (raw -- gray / white with shell / tail, BUT DEVEINED). They are done in about 3-5 minutes, when they turn that white with the orange stripe color. So the speed is a good thing. That, with pasta, sauce, and french bread, and salad.

Boil the pasta, set it aside. saute some garlic in olive oil with some chopped up mushrooms and some kind of nuts (pine nuts, walnuts, almonds, even pecans) Throw in the shrimp when that's all done. If she were not so healthy, here's where you might add heavy cream to make a cream sauce, but you might compromise with milk (or soy milk even) or just no dairy and just leave it as a throw the pasta into the pan and stir it all up, grate some parmesan on top. The french bread you just buy at a store. The salad can be one of those salad mix bags and some dressing, probably a vinigrette. White wine might be nice (pinot grigio or savignon blanc, I would not risk a chardonnay as they are too often sour). You might also look for tilapia recipes, as baked tilapia can be a pretty easy no-brainer. Allrecipes.com is a good resource for recipes.

I'm kind of wondering why you are just friends with benefits if you call her your girl and you can do stuff to piss her off and need to make up for it. Are you guys working your way back together or what? You should make up your minds.

Oral sex might make it special for her if you don't always do that for her. It may be particularly good if you do that til she finishes and then you do NOT even have sex or try to finish yourself, just satisfy her then cuddle up and go to sleep. She'll remember that one, I think.

~psychoblast~

 

[psychoblast]

Oh, do you have any good photos of you and her, maybe in digital format? You might pick a good one you know she'll like, get it printed and put it in a nice frame as a gift. People have all their photos on computer these days, or some digital storage device, but are often not good at getting anything put on paper and put into a frame, and it is nice to have something you can hang on your wall or put on your desk at work or whatever.

I also think you might impress her with unselfish conversation. That means make a conscious effort to take the conversation where she wants it to go, like asking her what her favorite song ever is and why, who her favorite teacher ever was and why, what was her first kiss like, what was the first thing she wanted to be for a living when she was a little girl, these kinds of questions that dig out fond or meaningful parts of her past can really impress her. Most guys never think about this and just steer conversation to stuff they find interesting or funny, or movies they've seen or want to see, what's going on with mutual friends. That stuff can be good conversation, too, but people are just balls of pent up experiences from their past that sometimes need to be released to give the person a certain catharsis and if you can be a tool of giving her that catharsis, it can sometimes be more impactful than a great full body massage (and this is coming from a former massage therapist).

~psychoblast~

 

[alasdairm]

what else could i do to make the night more "special"?

you know her. we don't. you could spend just spend 10 minutes thinking about things she's told you, dreams she has, things she likes, and come up with an idea yourself which shows you care about what she tells you and how she feels. that would be special.

alasdair

 

[queenbee1127]

I too am confuzled as to how you are "friends with benefits" but you are still in the dog house. No strings attached applies to strings that take you to the dog house, no?

Anyways, as for the meal, I would just be impressed at my boyfriend just making the effort to cook me dinner, and extra kudos would be given if the meal was actually really good. As psychoblast said, Allrecipes.com is a great place to look for recipes, so is Food Network's website.

I think the one big part you didn't mention is apologizing for whatever you did to upset her and put you in the dog house in the first place. Acknowledging what you did was wrong and apologizing can be huge in resolving an issue. You can bring her all the flowers in the world but if you don't say you're sorry and understand why you hurt her feelings, the whole thing is kind of pointless.

 

[Busty St Clare]

Come prepared with a list of all the ways she has disappointed you in the past, no matter how trivial. Shear weight of numbers is important. By the time you have sat down with her and gone over each and every grievance, what ever minor mistermeaner you have commited will be forgotten.

 

[lman_15]

We had a long history together still fuck and hang out all the time, were trying to work things out thats why I call her my girl but at the same time say friends with benefits. If it was just some random broad I wouldn't care. But this girl I've been through a ton with and she is definitely a keeper. I thanks for the advice. What type of sauce would go well with the shrimp?

 

[alasdairm]

^ come on, man. do you want to just sit back and be spoon-fed a solution? that's not very special...

put some thought into this yourself. think about things she's said to you in the past - things she likes, etc. - and work from there. a google search for "what sauce goes well with shrimp" produces 5.6 million results. maybe one of those might help?

if you want the evening to be special, you need to make it special...

alasdair