Actually I'm still decrying what YOU - a Moderator here, who should be aware that what they in particular write could well influence the thinking of some of the younger and more impressionable members of our community.
Seriously, it's good that you no longer steal to finance your habit but I'm still utterly failing to understand the spiritual value in heightening your pain threshold by suffering.
I mean, it sounds like such a tough yet noble life lesson but having suffered chronic physical pain for 2 decades, dreadful mental pain for a similar timespan and seen several very close friends die of long, drawn-out diseases which caused them untold amounts of suffering I am almost at a loss for words as to how best to respond to someone who casually writes down that there is spiritual value in heightening one's pain threshold by suffering.
If you're trying to make sense of years of kicking a particular drug-habit and how horrible it is each time then by all means ennunciate just that but please don't belittle many, many folk's genuine and inescapable sufferings by claiming that spiritual value, enlightenment or nirvana lies therein.
I don't know if you recall, but we conversed some bout chronic pain management a couple years ago. At the time I was on a cocktail of pain medications and I think given where I've been and where I'm at now, I have a different vantage point on some of this.
I think what dhcdavid is trying to say is that when pain becomes something you cannot control (such as chronic pain), there is no value gained because man usually also attacks what cannot be controlled. In other words, acute opiate/opioid WD may bring days of suffering, but the value gained from having been through it countless times is the knowledge or first hand experience that it eventually subsides (the physical pain, not necessarily the psychological). However, with chronic pain, there may be no end. So any value(s) turn(s) to misery, frustration, anger, etc.
This is rather profound - I have nerve damage in my leg that started when I was 19, I used opioids and lots of other medications for nearly 5 years daily, I had to leave the university I was at, quit my job, it destroyed the relationship with the girl I was living with and I was hopeless and terrified of this progressing forever. I took every dose responsibly for years and just wanted to not be in so much pain that it controlled my life. When people told me I could will the pain away, pray it away, heal it with yoga or whatever, it pissed me the fuck off.
After I lost all the things I mentioned above, when I felt up to returning to school part time, I started taking more psychology classes and then entered a program to become an addictions counselor. I started to feel more confident that I could still do something in my life and I didn't have to be defined by my limitations. These realizations changed everything for me.
I started to see more and more that I could tell myself that I was in pain and limited 24/7 or I could say fuck that, I'm going to keep going no matter what and that's what I did. So I got off the opioids and other medications and it was rough as fuck at first but I learned how to cope because I made the decision I wasn't going to spend my entire life focusing on how much pain I was in and it was sink or swim.
For me personally, spirituality doesn't factor in at all but accepting a degree of suffering as an inevitability and consciously deciding I wasn't going to let it control me by doing everything I could to ensure that showed me that suffering
can be beneficial - like most things in life, it depends what you do with it or what you let it do to you. When I was terrified of the suffering and ran from it with every pill and other form of treatment, it controlled me and THAT terrified me and made me feel hopeless. When I said 'fuck it all' and brought on more suffering is when I learned to not fear it and saw that I still had enough control that I could still do something with me life.
I've been off pain medication for close to 2 years now, have completed my coursework to become an addictions counselor, I'm in pain every day of my life but I'm happier than I've been in a really long time and I wouldn't be to this point without having suffered and finally realizing how I could use that to progress forward.