Hey guys. Only my third post or so. I've lurked for a while, knowing way too much about my DOC's than I ever wanted to. Well, i have developed a little problem. Well, not exactly little. Big and shitty. I went to rehab last spring basically because my family wanted to. Strung out on adderall. I was, at my worst, ingesting, snorting and injecting around 240mg/day. So, okay I went to rehab. The whole thirty days I kne what i was going to do when I get home.....get pills. Of course. Well, I went to jail for some weeks I owed on driving on suspended charges. Before I left I had started taking adderall again with a prescription and was not abusing it. WHen i was in that awful jail, something happened like some kind of transcendence from my life problems or something. I came out thinking "man I really have changed I can feel it" THen, within two weeks, I was worse off depression and nerve wise than before. I believe I know the reason, it's a bastard husband who abused me in so many ways for 12 years from whom I'm separated but he won't stay completely away. I found out some really pointless shit he did while I was carrying around our two babies and finishing my grad degree. He was screwing our nextdoor neighbor.
Well, to the point. I see one dr. every two weeks, the other dr. the other two weeks. One gives me vyvanse 70 mg and 90 1mg xanax. The other gives me 2 30mg IR adderall and 90 10 mg valium. SO, after all these years of taking these meds, albeit not successfully, I'e never got myself in a pickle like this. I am popping 8 30's a day at least, along with 4 valiums or 2 xanax over the day as well. I'm sick with nerves. I cannot drink or eat. it's nto the meds, I have never lost my appetite no matter how much i took. what the f is going on. How am i going to get off of this shit.????
addendum: I do understand perfectly that my husbandn revealing a secret that's a moot point is no excuse to hiting it hard again . But i also under stand fully the mechanism of both of these drugs. I also had an off again, on again coke/crack and train habit for years and just one day got tired of it. Don't see that happening. With this. I don't know even wjy I'm asking this, it's not like I'm going to try something noble and toss my bottles out riight now. grrrr
Well, to the point. I see one dr. every two weeks, the other dr. the other two weeks. One gives me vyvanse 70 mg and 90 1mg xanax. The other gives me 2 30mg IR adderall and 90 10 mg valium. SO, after all these years of taking these meds, albeit not successfully, I'e never got myself in a pickle like this. I am popping 8 30's a day at least, along with 4 valiums or 2 xanax over the day as well. I'm sick with nerves. I cannot drink or eat. it's nto the meds, I have never lost my appetite no matter how much i took. what the f is going on. How am i going to get off of this shit.????
addendum: I do understand perfectly that my husbandn revealing a secret that's a moot point is no excuse to hiting it hard again . But i also under stand fully the mechanism of both of these drugs. I also had an off again, on again coke/crack and train habit for years and just one day got tired of it. Don't see that happening. With this. I don't know even wjy I'm asking this, it's not like I'm going to try something noble and toss my bottles out riight now. grrrr
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