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"Im such a junkie/tweaker/stoner/crackhead...."

i'm such a crack head i price everything in terms of how many rocks, instead of how many dollars
 
I am such a pisshead I can dissolve paint by breathing on it

I am such a pisshead that my favourate drink can only be puchased at a hardware store

I am such a pisshead that if I walk past a Random Breath Testing unit all the cars there return a 0.5

I am such a pothead I have more than 200 recipies for food which comprisesn only of plain flour, castor sugar, milo and orange juice

I am such a pothead that the only thing insured in my house is the playstation

I am such a pothead that when I plan a trip to Europe, Dutch economists are forced to completely revise their national economic forcasts

I am such a pothead I was once arrested for attempting to use the Arecibo Radio Telescope as a cone piece
 
I like the one about checking out people's puplils..i do the same..my turn..

Im such a pot head I grow plants in my closet using brute force over my parents 8( (the know they are there and can now joke about them)

im such a pot head my number one quality i look for in a girl now is that she smokes weed.
 
SonOF said:
I'm such a drunk, my blood type is OE
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Ahhhhhhh LOL =D

im such a dopehead that reality aint nuttin but the time i aint nodding

im such a pothead that when i said i wanted to talk big n my dealer came to me with 4 pounds, i told him to get the fuck out and come back with some real weight cuZ no way in hell im gonna get by on four blunts worth
 
lacey k said:

im such a pothead that when i said i wanted to talk big n my dealer came to me with 4 pounds, i told him to get the fuck out and come back with some real weight cuZ no way in hell im gonna get by on four blunts worth
Click to expand...

ahahah

i like tha tone
 
im a funky not a junky but i know where to get it........who am i kidding? I'm a junky. Strait up. But crack is like a SUPER NICE ciggarette, when you're on heroin. other than that, pointless.
 
I'm such a junkie thaaaaaattt IIi gocadjcldddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd:| :| :|
 
I'm such a drunk that Jack Daniels was the best man at my wedding.
 
I'm such a tweaker I unconsciously rock my cigarettes like pookies and when I catch awkward looks about it, I launch into an hour long ramble of excuses to cover it up, "Well, my friend told me this one time at band camp in the music hall that it helps to . . . ." you know the rest xD
 
im such a stoner i knock the bong over and spill bongwater on the rug at least 4 times a week :)

when my female boss (who doesnt use drugs) borrows my sweatshirt, and upon returning it, asks what the funny smell is (smoked too many joints wearing it) and what the green stains on the sleeves are from (OC80's)

when im the only supervisor in charge of the front end of the supermarket, and theres lines at every register, but my dealer just walked in the door, and i say fuck it and meet him in the bathroom anyways while the store goes to chaos :)

when im goin thru opiate withdrawal and i start sniffing adderall "just because its there" and i need to sniff powder, even tho i know it is only going to induce panic attacks and severe anxiety :/

when all my pipes/bongs are scraped completely clean because i ran out of pot yesterday...

peace
 
I check EVERYONES med cabinets. Done that shit for years. Haven't done it in a few months though cuz i forgot about opiates.
 
I'm such a junkie, when my dealer moved away i started using ephedrine make up for the lack of other stuff.
Only briefly though. :p

Edit: Thought of another one.
I'm such a pothead, random people in the street walk up to me to ask if i have some long papers they can borrow.
 
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