I'm Sorry

Keif' Richards said:
Does it make me a bad person to take help? I am so desperate but I wouldn't want you guys to look at me differently.

In all honesty, I didnt think anyone would really care that much, let alone help. I am a little bit stunned.
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It does not make you a bad person.

You're reaching out to your family.

Are starving people bad people because they reach out to others for food?
 
Keif' Richards said:
I really am sorry everybody. I dont know if this was the right thing to do. The pain and nausea make it hard to think. If this is totally fucked up of me then please disregard.

I dont want to put myself in front of anyone else as I know everyone is hurting. Ahhhh!
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So, you recognise that your thinking is, at the very least, very muddled due to the pain and nausea.

It stands to reason that a massive decision (like suicide, let's say) should only be taken when one's thinking is extremely clear.

Given the reality of the two sentences above, hows about we (you) at least make a pact with ourselves (yourself, and us!) that there will definitely be no suiciding anytime soon...or at the very least until you can think clearly again.

I can't say fairer than that - do we have a deal?
 
At least let me send you some ginger and peppermint tea

The best nausea busters known to man

Please

Also smelling icy hot, menthol or mint will help to keep it at bay

Do you qualify for unemployment? Disability? These are more long term solutions but we need to think in both the long term and short term because we are going to remain positive
 
Keif' Richards said:
Does it make me a bad person to take help? I am so desperate but I wouldn't want you guys to look at me differently.

In all honesty, I didnt think anyone would really care that much, let alone help. I am a little bit stunned.
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No it don’t make you a bad person, it makes you a strong person. My father committed suicide and I never knew him because of it. Everyday I think what if I was old enough to help and talk to him. Please don’t do this. You’ll never realize how many people your hurting when you do it. Imagine all the holidays. Imagine how many people that you don’t know you help never getting to see or hear from you again. Imagine your family picking up the pieces. Please don’t do this to me again I’ll give you anything.
 
Keif' Richards said:
I am a little bit stunned.
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Yeah? Great! Stunned is how I felt (and undoubtedly many others) who have come here to get help and received it without question, commitment or judgements. WTH? Do you not think that from those whom have *evolved from the help they have gotten at BL would without hesitation offer help in return? It would (IMO) be a bit selfish to not let those help who can... we have to give back sometime in some way.
All we need is the way.
Keif' Richards said:
Doctor drug tested me. Spontaneous taper of all Lyrica.
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Just like our illustrious medical system to look past the real issue to focus on something irrelevant. Seems very hypocritical, IMO; just what they swore not to be.
Wilson Wilson said:
Generic pregabalin can be imported very cheaply
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Pregab is available in generic for in the US now and is dirt cheap.
Not sure how an anon helpline could be set up as most here would have to use debit card or other verifiable way of payment.



Anyone have any ideas?
If allowed I will send something forthwith through paypal or by any other means. A brother in need is just that... fuck the opposition. I offer this as I am able to bank a little since I have been here at BL; this in itself is miraculous and is to be celebrated.
 
omg i am crying so fucking hard my eyes out.
NOOOO. it hurts my stomach to cry like this.
ogod i'm so sorry for every mean word i have said and for all of the bad days i have had too.
Please no. please
 
LadyAlkaline said:
At least let me send you some ginger and peppermint tea

The best nausea busters known to man

Please

Also smelling icy hot, menthol or mint will help to keep it at bay

Do you qualify for unemployment? Disability? These are more long term solutions but we need to think in both the long term and short term because we are going to remain positive
Click to expand...

Tea is one thing I actually have! I hadn't even thought about it yet I have been drinking gut-destroying coffee this whole time.

Alkaline thanks so much for the advice and kind words. It means so much to me. I hope we get to know each other better!
 
$respek84 cashapp please dont do anything that remotely brings chaos into your life. I didnt know I had real friends. I thought all of my friends, except for one (used to be two) were fake "addict friends".

Wow. This is crazy. I'm actually going to feel better. You all have the right to hit me up at all hours for Harm Reduction advice. That is the best Keif can offer right now.

Kind of funny, kind of fucked, an aside. My dad claimed me on his taxes and didnt tell me. So I waited for my check in the mail (no bank acct) and got a nice letter stating my refund had gone elsewhere.

He has helped me a ton (and raised me) so I didn't bitch too much.

T
 
Goes to show you just never know what another human being is going through. But I have been reading the boards for years and for years I watched you selflessly reach out and help another human being with genuine care Keif. So I hope all that comes back to you. (I haven't figured out Karma yet as we all deserve a lot more than we get sometimes you know? But the story is not over.)

I have no real advice. I know the post was not meant as such but if I thought I could take my own life and not have to deal with whatever comes next I just may. So you see I am no help. I really do believe we all have some of that in us. But something in me just says go through that all now and be done with it. (I think deep down we all know that too) But when you add how griefs stack up and happiness stays away a little too long wow does life get hard. The whole notion that it is temporary gives me hope if that doesn't sound too sad. But when I say that I feel the better parts come after the struggle. The body is like a dead weight we have to drag around and then it kills us! But if you look at all these people posting to each other it comes from a higher place. It has nothing to do with the body when we reach out and post here.

I hope you feel better, get some weed, get some pregabalin however need be. Take help. Take milk thistle, the liver regenerates more than any other organ. That stuff has reversed poisonous mushroom ingestion. Let's all meditate on some extra cash coming to us without us having to hurt anyone like too many people do. Something as simple as more money and time could add to some happiness.
 
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I tried sending money dude but it bounced back and they said they were refunding it into my account “for my protection” not sure why?? Never used the app before. But when it’s refunded I’ll send it again.
 
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