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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards

Im so scared

That's a terrible situation dude. Around where I live, suboxone is just as easy as any other opiate to get your hands on, and most dealers carry it in tandem with regular drugs. It's genius really... The whole supply and demand thing. But anyway, if you're getting a urine analysis, you're only real option is to go try and score more subs off of someone, this suggestion probably doesn't help though
 
It would be easiest just to take 4mg per day instead of 8mg, to make up for the difference.

With buprenorphine, you can adjust your dose lower, and still get a lot of the effects you are looking for.

It is good you are doing your best to support your family though, congratulations on being successful in that respect!
 
I give you alot of respect for putting your kids first!! It's nice to see. My kid is number one in my book. I know how hard it can be. Hats off to you and I wish you the best of luck!! I am so sorry you are going through hard times and hopefully soon they will be better!! Cheers to you!!

Sometimes you can find subs on the street. Maybe you could ask around? Again good luck! Maybe get some immodium and some benzos to take the edge off....
 
thanks for your replies! thanks for the comments about my being a mom. Most times I still feel so guilty over the time i missed with them due to pills. I was an absent mom. fucntioning, but not really there. I wont ever get that time back again, and it is so sad. I was still confused and wondered about the snorting thing?

one guy said it would make it LESS effective to snort and another said it would make it MORE effective. I have 4 mg on me today, and will have an 8mg tomorrow. So would it be best to dose twice today, or just go ahead and do the 4mg midday. I guess tomorrow I could take the 4 and Monday 4 as well. I have never tapered succesfully either. thats a big concern. I have always gobbled whatever I have down (as addicts im sure you are familiar with that, i have NO willpower and envy those strong enough to will mind over matter) Im sooo scared to taper becuz Im so scared of relapse. I keep hearing that from 8 to 4 I wont even notice it. Have you guys found that to be true? Anyhow, I sure hope he fills my script Tuesday, cuz its maybe a week early. I didnt taper properly , and then I had to sell some for the light bill. So now I find myself in a spot.

I am just going to knuckle down and follow his taper to the t when I see him (provided he will fill them that day). Its time to start doing this the right way, and not be so scared. If im convinced i will relapse, I most likely will so Im going to do it. Taper the right way I mean. I DO want off them, and to be totally clean (most of the NAers dont see us as totally clean which is bunk to me, but oh well)

So, I have the 4 today, and will have 8 tomorrow (God wiling) so which opinion is right? will snorting make them last longer or less effective? And also, i don't THINK with what I have, that I should need immodium? (money is still tight and if i don't need it, every little bit helps) Thanks again, and thanks for being here for me. I would be clueless without your help and advice. Im glad its a weekend, and I hope everyone is enjoying a safe labor day weekend!! You guys are great!
 
^enjoy your weekend the best you can!! I hope you feel alright and spend some time with those kiddos of yours!! You will know if you need immodium.. once you get *that* feeling in your stomach.. you know. Walmart has it cheap in equate brand, it's like 3 bucks. So you might get that instead of the brand name to save some money! I know what you're saying about money being tight! Just know there is a light at the end of the tunnel!
 
modern mans hustle :/

gl op, like a few people said, a little sub goes a long way. try taking 1mg at a time and if it holds you then you can make it last even longer.

who knows, after this maybe you can lower your dose alot
 
I would bet at least 4mg would hold you. from what I understand, and have noticed myself the few times I"ve taken sub, is that the lower the dose the better.
 
screwed again

well, my "friend" backed out on me with the 8mg. So now I have literally like two crumbs. One bigger than the other, but thats all... Its just the luck I have been having lately. So, i will have to make do with that. I have tried every way in the world to find one, to no avail. Well, what now. Im so freaked out, and I feel like im w/d now, cuz I went from the 8 to 4 today. I know thats likely in my head, but I can feel something.

I am also so afraid that when I go Tuesday, he will notice that its quite early (well, 9 days early) for my actual 30 days to have been up. That im 9 days early from what i should have left. Sometimes, hes very fast, and doesnt pay attention to the dates. I got away with that once before. but last time I talked to him about my struggle with tapering, and he may pay closer attention this time. He is pretty nice, but that day he was pretty ticked off and told me if I didnt follow his taper it wasnt his problem. SO, that leaves me with fear for Tuesday.

I have 4 perk 10s just staring at me, BUT I know if I did that i would A) be sick as a dog, right? and B) fail my drug test in his office. SO what would you guys do? I am going to grab some immodium cuz I remember someone saying it would cut down on w/ds up to 70 percent? is that in extremely large doses, say double, or triple the dose or what? Again, im a natural worry wart with lots of my own anxiety so its even worse.

I have a boatload of neurontin, but I have taken that for years, so probably wont even notice it. There is a bottle of my husbands Klonopin looking in my face as well, but cant take it due to the drug test. WHAT a world for me right now!! Well, I will listen again, since the plan has changed. You really do amaze me with your knowledge of subs and stuff. its GREAT to have the support of this forum, and to meet so many really cool and nice people.


I have to work, so I may just have to find SOME way to make do with two crumbs probably totaling 2.8 mg. something like that to make do till Tuesday when I PRAY ( and plesae do for me) that he will script for me on that day. OTHERWISE I will have to w/d for NINE days. and from what I read, it would be virtually impossible to work at that stage in sub w/ds. Like day 3-10 are the worst? or am i wrong there? I also read that it takes like THREE days for sub w/ds to REALLY hit. Is that true as well? GEEEEZZZ Im sorry for the rambling yet again, and all the questions. Thanks for reading this, and for any advice you guys can give...... SINCERELY thank you....
 
P.S.. after this, I SWEAR on everything I am going to follow his taper to the T!! No more selling or taking a bit more than scripted. I was always so SCARED to taper. cuz it worked so GREAT that I thought taking any less and I would surely relapse. I see thats not the case, and I am NEVER going to stray again! This is scary stuff! I cant BREATHE for worrying!
 
Why continue to ask for advice when you haven't taken any of the really good advice others have posted. NBD. Your basically rolling the dice at the Dr's. More than likely he will notice your there, out of meds 9 days early. Four perks won't help you, all they'll do is make you fail you UA. You wouldn't feel them at all. You have enough sub in your system to go several days before any real wds hit.What your feeling is like you described, in your head. Wding off of sub is 80% mental. Seriously. If it were me, I'd keep looking for more sub. Most people using lope for wds take far more than the recommened daily dose. UTSE
Wait as long as you can before taking more sub, suck it up. You can make it.
 
TRY KRATOM!!!

Do you have any local headshops? Im lucky and the headshop here has QUALITY kratom and i swear its a godsend when i run out of meds. Its cheap and it really works! Im pretty sure it would leave you with clean piss as well!
 
I know what you are saying sid, I do. I just do keep asking for advice, but my situation keeps changing. I agree that most of this is probably mental, I just have this stupid constant anxiety.

The neurontin is helping out with that, just fyi. Not a LOT but some. This doctor of mine, I guess I am rolling the dice. I do have a story so I wont get kicked OUT, but may well not get it filled and will HAVE to wait the days to get it filled.wont be fun, from what I hear. I sure do hope that maybe Monday that friend of mine will be able to scrounge me up one. Then i could take 2mg a day and see him Thursday, which would look way better.

Kratom? I have never heard of it? would it make me relapse? I am really bad with relapse, and I really dont want to, unless I got so sick I couldnt stand it. Im in Tennessee, a small town too, so really nowhere to likely get it. We have health food stores, well, one, lol... Soo, I guess if he wont script it to me for 9 days out, I may have to suck it up and take the perk 10s. after 3 or 4 days. then I wouldnt have to see him for a month again and it should be out of my system?

Not sure how long that stuff stays in there for? A few days Im guessing? I can get tabs, perks, etc all day long here, but HARD HARD to find subs. arggg.. Anyhow, im going to stretch my little bit as far as I can. It will likely be that I take the 2mg today, skip Monday, and pray from there. If im forced to take the perks after 3 or 4 days after my last sub dose (MAN I dont wanna go back there, but if its only to stave off sub w/ds may have to) then it should be out of me by the next month right?

Sorry to have made it seem like I havent been taking advice or thickheaded. I guess I can be that and shouldnt when you guys are just trying to help me. Sorry again... I am a dang worry wart, and wish i werent that above all other things (except for an addict :-( Thanks again, and I am listening, I swear.
 
What kind of story do you intend on telling your doctor? I am only asking because doctors begin to scrutinize more when you tell them all kinds of stories.
 
Loperamide.

go get a bottle..take 20 caplets.

you wont feel perfect....but much better
 
I would stop the taper at the next appointment tell him your cravings are returning and you need to stabilize your dose for a few months any doctor worth his college degree will up your dose immediatly. If he doesnt I would file a formal complaint with the state medical board as this is paramount to malpractice IMO. Sub doctors tend to be the scum of the earth in my experience. Also that is some bullshit that you get piss tested I get 90 subs a month no strings attached as long as I have the 150 dollars cash I get the script. Its also bullshit that relapse is a reason to be kicked off treatment if a cancer patient doesnt respond to chemo they dont kick him out of the hospital the whole atmosphere around addiction treatment is just toxic and its a shame.

end rant
 
KRATOM. (sorry for shouting) a decent 15x or 20x extract will take w/ds away for up to 6 hours.You won't get much off it except normality, which is a shame, but you won't be sick. It won't show up on a drug test either.
 
Just split some in half and take 4mg a day instead of 8mg. If you do that for like a week they should last until you get your next script and you will not go into withdrawals plus they will be in your system so if you get tested the doc will see you are taking them (they don't test for a mg amount or anything like that, they just check to make sure it's in your system... I have done that before when I ran out early or had to sell mine.
 
shoolameet said:
Just split some in half and take 4mg a day instead of 8mg. If you do that for like a week they should last until you get your next script and you will not go into withdrawals plus they will be in your system so if you get tested the doc will see you are taking them (they don't test for a mg amount or anything like that, they just check to make sure it's in your system... I have done that before when I ran out early or had to sell mine.
Click to expand...

She has a few crumbs left.
 
Then its her problem..

And in reality , I would think her REAL problem is between 10 and 2 ..

I couldnt even read a single post of hers in its entirety...
Women tend to ramble , and also ask questions they already decided the answer for..

Stop tweeking... And if youre not , spend all this time with your precious dependents that matter above all...

Are you posting via BlackBerry during Mommy-Yoga classes?

What I did recall was you saying youve been 'tapering' since January ?

Are you serious? No one else has said it , but you know you are still a junkie right? sure get offended , whatever...But you may as well start taking Little Timmy's adderalls while he is at soccer practice..

Because obvi you need some kind of fix..

Subs for months are the epitome of designer drugging - luxury ..

Be a real women and fucking kick , so you can stop this filth of denial..

And before you get all teary and abrupt - Im a girl too = ) and Cant stand whining..
 
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