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Help! I'm looking for a new life

I guess we kind of hijacked this thread but I guess useful information is coming from it.

Crystal MDMA is nothing like most pills - even "clean" MDMA ones. It's far more mellow and almost sedating.
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I've heard this before and also heard the opposite of this. I'm finding it hard to find a scientific basis behind it. If an E-pill contains only MDMA, binder and colouring, it is pure MDMA in pill form. The binder and food colouring has no effect whatsoever on the effects. If the only active chemical in an E-pill is MDMA it should feel the exact same as oral MDMA crystal. The thing is most pills are adulterated and I hear that but if you get a truly clean MDMA E-pill, it would have the exact same effects as MDMA crystal. Just putting the scientific spin on it. ;)

edit: IV MDMA 8o my oh my, I don't think I'll be trying that one any time soon. Going to read your report.
 
It would indeed, Dave. I've not come across a "pure" MDMA pill with no additives (not even caffeine or ephedrine) in around ten years though - except for once in Holland. Even the ones that test "high MDMA" are different to pure crystal. You can almsot doze off after shooting 100mg of pure MDMA crystal - very little stimulation. At least not in a speedy sense. Not that you'd want too sleep when you're writhing in ecstasy :D
 
I've heard this said about winning the lottery: if you're happy without money, you'll be happy with money. If you 're not happy without money, you take yourself with you into the winning.
 
Hold on what is mdma? I never heard of this drug till this tread . God There's so many drugs I don't know about . I think I'll go with LSD bc I been hearing alot of positive things about it . But in order for it to really change someone life do u have to take it alot like every week Or could a one time use do something? And will it change my apperence that my parents would know I'm on something? Thanks I need to look into this before I do it.
 
LSD will change your life, and most likely you perspective on certain things, but in no way will popping some cid leave you witha life altering spiritual profoundness and/or higher understanding

It is a drug, and a powerful one at that. But it will merely show you your innerself more than anything, you can not buy a sheet and think thatit will give you something that you dont have (well besides the hallucinations/trip) lol
 
The most common trait of "life changing" trips I've heard of is that it involved preposterous intensity. Whether positive or negative. My first LSD trip really changed my perception with the assistance of incredible amounts of euphoria, love, and childlike excitement. But many times I hear people leaving a trip with a more positive perspective on life because they had their ego torn up and burnt, then rebuilt before their eyes, giving them a "glad to be alive" feeling.
 
LSD can be used as a therapeutic tool.

When I took acid I seriously felt close to God and life made just so much sense. It filled me up with understanding of life. Afterward, I felt so much more at peace. Like I finally found my place in the universe.

I definitely recommend it in your case. It really can't hurt you much, since you say your life sucks the way it is. IMO it will cause a lot of good changes in you. Maybe just for the short term, but maybe some of that will stay for longer.
 
The reason I'm so depressed and wants to start over isn't bc I don't have a lot of friends or don't have a girlfriend , never had a job but it's bc I have a speech impediment . I thought by doing drugs(weed ) that maybe there will be a some little miracle that my speech impedimentt goes away during I'm high . But it didn't it just made things worse . But I keep smoking weed to see if that one time my speech impediment will go away . So now I'm still searching for that drug to make my speech problem disapear for a little . But LSD is probaly not going to make me talk right so it's probaly going to make things worse . But that's the reason I do drugs not bc I want to have a good time but to find that cure for my speech impediment . Sorry I'm just going on about nothing now.
 
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Jdangles: I actually would agree with those recommending MDMA. One of my first mind-altering experiences was a solo one on MDMA (still, have a sitter or a physical and emotional safety net of some sort), and it was extremely rewarding. Because it empowered ME.

I cannot stress it enough: Drugs will not do the work. YOU are truly the ONLY one who can do the work. No one else, nothing else. Drugs will give you new perspective, expand your consciousness, empower YOU to take a more active, positive role in your life.

You have a lot more power than you think. Your life is your responsibility. Though that may seem daunting now, you will see in time that you will be very glad that your life is up to you.

Just keep that mind, k? No substance is going to 'cure' you, especially if you just sit back and wait for salvation.
 
I'm going to have to agree that if Jdangles chooses to use a psychedelic, I think that MDMA/MDA would be one of the best, for all the reasons listed above. But the above poster is right, the drugs won't do the work for you. They may help you get in the mindstate you want to be in to do the work, but you still have to do the spiritual work yourself. Drugs can make a it a little "easier", but they will not in any way solve your problems. MDMA is a good starter because of the pure euphoria it pushes on you...it can make you come to some great realizations. You don't have to do MDMA ("ecstasy") with friends, although this is a lot of fun, it is a completely different, but just as rewarding, experience when done alone.

Maybe it would be more enjoyable for you at a rave? If you dosed quality MDMA, you would have a blast at a rave. It rids you of a lot of your social inhibitions and you can just dance. That might be fun for you, since you said yourself that you lack social skills and would like to make friends. Here's a way to "put yourself out there"...you won't make friends guaranteed, but many people at good raves are very friendly and helpful. If you don't know how to find out about raves, check out GrooveTickets.Com.
Just to communicate my experience, mushrooms are much harder than LSD. They have a tendency to produce a lot of anxiety in me. I find LSD much smoother. Mushrooms for me are by no means "fun", they're a grueling, difficult, spiritual experience that has it's benefits, but by no means "fun". Your mileage may vary of course.
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I agree here. Do not do mushrooms when you are depressed. This could turn out bad.

LSD has always been much happier and more recreational to me than mushrooms. Then again, however, I wouldn't recommend LSD to someone who was depressed, either.
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Hey, well if you want to fit in, buy about $300 worth of LEDs and lights (that will attach to your fingers, etc), learn how to trip people out with your lights, take your shirt off, and start giving light shows at raves. My friend does this and he gets free MDMA all the time, people are like "that was so awesome man, here's some pills".

If you get good, you will look something like this. You might want to do some MDMA beforehand to get into the vibe of the music. 8)
Lightshow2.jpg

Lol. That was a joke, btw (not about my friend, but the suggestion entirely). But on the serious side, I do see a lot of people who look like "loners" (like they came solo) doing light shows at raves, and they do make a lot of friends just by using their light skills.
 
Welcome back to the Wheel of Fortune! Let's have a look at our wonderful prizes we have today!! John?

Yes, we have an amazing array, Steve. First, we have here a lovely Brand New Life!!! *applause* Complete with lots of friends, a girlfriend, and a 9-5 job! It's your American Dream!


I guess I'm trying to say don't rely on external circumstances to validate yourself. Don't reach for the flashiness. Seek your inner truth, and the outer world will follow suit.
 
psilocybonaut said:
But on the serious side, I do see a lot of people who look like "loners" (like they came solo) doing light shows at raves, and they do make a lot of friends just by using their light skills.
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Contact juggling!

I often will get people following me asking me how I do it, going "whoaaaa" and shit. I'm not even all that good at it.

But I'll do it anywhere. In public, waiting for city buses, with those big, round oranges they sometimes have in the store, etc.
 
I agree with everyone saying MDMA first as you will be less liekly to have a bad experience and you will be able to feel that love an acceptance it sounds like you would like. Maybe do it with anyone you feel even a little bit comfortable with and you will be surprised at how much you can get off your chest with a little help from MDMA. Also I dont know your exact circumstances but why not go to speech therapy? If it bothers you that much than try to work on correcting it.

I know it must be hard but people who are going to be real friends or even worth having in your life will not like you any less because of the way your talk, they should like you for the wonderful person I bet you are on the inside. I dont know if you are religious at all but many great men have had speech impediments, even Moses, and he led his people out of captivity and he was mocked for his speech problems, until all the people saw how great he was on the inside.

If you are feeling down and alone or just want to make a friend, feel free to PM me. Theres no need to be alone all your life, make friends here on BL, plus no one will notice or care about your speech as its all typing here :)
 
mdmantpa said:
I agree with everyone saying MDMA first as you will be less liekly to have a bad experience and you will be able to feel that love an acceptance it sounds like you would like. Maybe do it with anyone you feel even a little bit comfortable with and you will be surprised at how much you can get off your chest with a little help from MDMA. Also I dont know your exact circumstances but why not go to speech therapy? If it bothers you that much than try to work on correcting it.

I know it must be hard but people who are going to be real friends or even worth having in your life will not like you any less because of the way your talk, they should like you for the wonderful person I bet you are on the inside. I dont know if you are religious at all but many great men have had speech impediments, even Moses, and he led his people out of captivity and he was mocked for his speech problems, until all the people saw how great he was on the inside.

If you are feeling down and alone or just want to make a friend, feel free to PM me. Theres no need to be alone all your life, make friends here on BL, plus no one will notice or care about your speech as its all typing here :)
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Thanks dude. I know that real friends won't care but it's just I'm so self consious about the way I talk so I try not saying the things I can't say. And by doing that it makes me a really quiet boy . They don't think I'm weird bc I talk funny but bc I'm so quiet I seem retarded. I never been this miserable untill this year(senior year) bc I guess high school is over and I don't know what to do after hs . And your right No one will no I have a speech impediment bc I'm typing .that's how I talk to the few girls is by texting .I'm just like every normal boy now when it comes to typing LOL (:
 
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Jdangles18 said:
I hang out with a few friends that probaly tried every drug but everytime I'm with them I only smoke weed. I told them I would never try anything but weed . I don't even smoke cigs but I'm desprete now . And your right I don't have anything to lose bc my life already sucks . I always wanted to try shrooms bc I thought it would be fun so maybe I'll try that first .
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First thing I would suggest: stop smoking weed. It's just going to make your anxiety/anti-social tendencies even worse. Then I'd also advise exercising/eating healthy, and forcing yourself to go out and get a job.

A low dose psychedelic (imo 2ci would be good) may be beneficial for you to evaluate your life in a different light, but nobody can say for sure if you'll react well to it or not. But certainly don't go into it taking a reasonable dose of shrooms just because "it will be fun" Granted it will be fun, but there's a lot more to it than recreational entertainment like weed.
 
Prea said:
First thing I would suggest: stop smoking weed. It's just going to make your anxiety/anti-social tendencies even worse. Then I'd also advise exercising/eating healthy, and forcing yourself to go out and get a job.

A low dose psychedelic (imo 2ci would be good) may be beneficial for you to evaluate your life in a different light, but nobody can say for sure if you'll react well to it or not. But certainly don't go into it taking a reasonable dose of shrooms just because "it will be fun" Granted it will be fun, but there's a lot more to it than recreational entertainment like weed.
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How much should I take if I'm only 5 foot 7 130 pounds ? How long will I have the effects?
 
Of what, 2c-i? Ideally you would want to start out low and work your way up. Starting at around 16-18mg would be good imo.
 
If you really have troubles with depression I would recommend getting yourself in a VERY positive headspace before tripping. Bipolar disorder runs in my family and I have a tendency to make like 100x less sense while tripping than any of my friends. Genetic disposition really makes a difference and I'm sure an overwhelmingly bad lsd trip could give your depression a more prominent streak.

If possible do lsd with a good friend to guide you and reassure you during the trip. Mushrooms would probably be a better first option because IME they have much less tendency to result in a bad trip.

But then again a "bad trip" might be just what you need! Take everything said here with a grain of salt, you're the only one who's intuition will guide you through your trip. YOU are the person who is going to have to put your ego back together after psychedelia smashes you into bitty pieces on the surface of the earth!

HAVE FUN.
 
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