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I'm anxious and morbid but want to experience psychadelics

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pjpk

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 24, 2013
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2
Hi there, sorry for starting a new thread as my first post. I've had a look anonymously and there doesn't really seem to be a previous thread covering what I'm trying to find out.

I'm quite an anxious, morbid guy who gets panic attacks occasionally and thinks about death a bit more than is recommended. So far my narcotics experience has been cannabis, cocaine, ecstacy, mdma and ketamine, all of which I take fairly regularly and really enjoy.

Whenever I've done ketamine or a lot of MDMA I've really enjoyed the temporary disassociation and semi-hallucinations that I've got out of it. I really want to try something that is a bit stronger in these departments but I'm worried that my anxious/morbid state of mind will mean I'll have a really horrible time.

I was just wondering if anyone had any recommendations as to what I should start trying to broaden my psychadelic/hallucinogenic experiences. What should I start with? I'm going to ensure I have a sober 'backseat driver' with me when I try anything but I don't really know what substance I should start with as an introduction.

Again, really sorry if this has already been covered in loads of other threads. I live in the UK, if that has any bearing on the availability of anything anyone has to suggest.

Thanks in advance!
 
You may want to check out the Least anxiogenic psychedelic thread, and peruse the Index. We don't really allow people to ask for recommendations on what to take, people react differently to different things, and you'll get a better idea about what you're into through reading anyway. We can still talk plenty about any concerns you have.

The anxiety might cause issues, is there any thing in particular which triggers a panic attack? I wouldn't worry about the morbidity thing, plenty of us think about death quite often, and learn to live better with that inevitability while considering it on psychedelics.
 
Thanks very much, I obviously didn't search thoroughly enough. Will have a look through that thread!

My panic attacks are all related to worrying about my heart, which is related to me being overweight. I'm in the process of sorting that out through good nutrition and exercise. Unfortunately I'm now in a position where even a single toke of cannabis gives me a panic attack (clearly psychosomatic rather than the drug itself) but other drugs don't.

Appreciate asking for advice is inappropriate, I didn't word my request properly. Was just wondering if anyone had a similar problem with anxiety/morbidity and what psychadelics they still managed to have fun with. I just really, really love the disassociation that I get with ketamine but it's only ever occasional and I want to try something that provides that more consistently
 
For me, anxiety on psychedelics occurs when I focus or think about something so intently that my senses kind of melt away. It may be part of ego death. Then when something reminds me of the real world, I start to perceive the environment around me again and become confused and wonder if I am dying and then panic. Sometimes I think I'm having cardio issues (if anything, it's only a fast heart rate, or back pain that often comes from sitting in the same position with bad posture, which I often do while on drugs). The initial anxiety could come while doing an activity or while sitting and thinking. All of these trips were alone and indoors; I think just having another person around would be enough to prevent the initial thought from turning into panic, as I've had some similar thoughts when around people but they went away as soon as I noticed that other people still existed.

FWIW all the bad trips with panic attacks occurred while I was taking Wellbutrin (stimulating antidepressant, NDRI) so that might have something to do with it. One bad trip got much worse when I tried to use cannabis to calm down. After a few bad trips, I started to associate psychedelics with anxiety/panic attacks so that made future trips harder; even low doses that shouldn't have done much of anything made me anxious which was probably entirely psychosomatic. Combining with alcohol and/or benzos has always prevented anxiety from ever occurring in the first place; combining with cannabis sometimes made things worse.

I've had definite panic attacks on LSD and 5-MeO-MiPT but have also had panic-free experiences with them. No good experiences on NBOMEs. All experiences with shrooms and 2C-B have been good, except for some anxiety while on low doses of 2C-B that was probably psychosomatic.

It seems that on psychedelics it's easy to get into a mindful state, and I find mindfulness type meditation to increase my heart rate and reduce calmness.
 
pjpk said:
My panic attacks are all related to worrying about my heart, which is related to me being overweight. I'm in the process of sorting that out through good nutrition and exercise. Unfortunately I'm now in a position where even a single toke of cannabis gives me a panic attack (clearly psychosomatic rather than the drug itself) but other drugs don't.
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We had one user who had problems with heart related panic attacks while tripping, but their problems while sober were serious enough to warrant a sizable benzo prescription, and they'd sometimes skip doses and whatnot. So it's possible that your issue will manifest under the influence of psychedelics, but in no way is it a done deal, they might even help you.

I think it's a good idea to have a sitter to help talk you down, if need be. It wouldn't hurt to keep an anxiolytic on hand too.
 
I would recommend LSZ because it is a potent 5-HT1a receptor agonist, about 2.5 times as strong as LSD. Agonists for that receptor have anxiolytic action, meaning antianxiety, and also antidepressant action. It should be a much more tranquil trip than LSD or other RC psychs. I haven't actually tried it but I will soon. I have seen a table showing its affinity for the various 5-HT receptors. It should be about the same psychedelic effects as LSD but a lot more calm. I read a recent report where a person took a rather high does of 450 mcg and said it had no body load at all and was quite tranquil. I don't recommend that much but maybe 1 or 2 blotters. AL-LAD would likely make you quite agitated though so I would avoid it, same with NBOMEs and PEAs. I don't know about tryptamines but none of them ever made me feel calm personally.
 
EarthBounded said:
Everyone is anxious before there first heavy trip it is natural , the only way to find out is to try it. You will be totally fine with proper set / setting and best case scenario would be to have a sitter.
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Doesn't have to be a heavy one, does it?

I wouldnt recomend something as new as Al or LSz just because these two substances although pretty light psychedelics, are still quite long acting. Maybe half doses...?

Or perhaps 2c-d... I'm only making a suggestion coz mods are in this thread & it ain't shut. If you're inclined to anxiety you'd be wise to steer clear of psyches altogether... but I reckon in my experience 2c-d is the lightest,, shortest acting & gentlest all rounder. 15mg or 20 might be enough, if not another day, try 25 or 30mg. Don't stack doses if you're new to psyches. If it doesn't work coz it's too little, call it quits & try another day. Your health is more important than one good trip & patience is, after all, a virtue!

Al & LSz are pretty easy on the system, just too new & too long imo. The mipts & other 4-subs are a better length, but I reckon too bodyloady (but seriously only just, my next offer after 2c-d would be 4-ho-met!) & most phens too long & bodyloady. 2c-c was short but much more in your face than 2c-d, for me.

Hope I haven't infringed too many rules with that post!
 
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sir ingwe said:
. If you're inclined to anxiety you'd be wise to steer clear of psyches altogether
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Humbug, plenty of folks here get anxiety to the point of impairing functionality, in some capacity or another, and find psychedelics to be therapeutic and worthwhile.

Hope I haven't infringed too many rules with that post!
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Well the general idea here is to skip with the recommendations (he can read the least anxiogenic psychedelic thread, and y'all can contribute your newfangled ergoloid endorsements in there), and deal with the OP's issue more broadly.

@pjpk - Here's an important question before deciding what particular psychedelic, you wanna go for (I will not name specific things, but we can help you get a better idea of what you're looking for when researching on your own): What do you hope to gain from the psychedelic experience? Is it purely a recreational thing, would some serious introspective work be in the cards (not necessarily with your first experiences, but by and by), are mystical experiences and spirituality your target?
 
I'm inclined to anxiety & far from disinclined towards psychedelics. So it wouldn't be fair to say that I take my own advice. But that said, I have tricky moments here n there, even on really light doses of famously light psyches. I'm asthmatic, & anxiety usually manifests as chest pain for me, so I'm particularly sensitive to the op's concerns about his heart whilst tripping. Anxiety often manifests as chest pain, apparently.

Interesting you mention op's reasons for wanting to experience a psychedelic drug. Given that there's mention of dissociative experiences I wonder if perhaps some recreational escapism might be the point. Now in my experience, it's the heavier doses of psyches that produce dissociation so my "go easy, don't freak out" advise might be redundant there too.

Still, lower doses of many psyches, in my experience & in my opinion, often bring only the side effects rather than a mild trip & if those side effects are unbearable for the user, it might be best to reconsider a larger, more active dose. If, of course a touch of nausea & some restlessness is something you think you can handle as a side effect of much laughing & pretty colours & motion, then you'll be fine on the average dose of many psychedelic drugs... & yes, as mentioned above more than once, some new fangled ergoliods (drugs related to & with similar effects as LSD) which are legal, although limited in supply, are available for the moment.
 
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