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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards

I'm an anxious freak - please help!

Whipped Dream

Whipped Dream

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 23, 2011
Messages
656
Location
Southwest U.S.
First off, I LOVE this forum. It's hard to talk to "normal" family/friends about my anxiety issues and drugs without getting that "look" and then a ridiculous suggestion that maybe I need to get a hobby or go to church or some stupid shit.

I'll try to bullet-point my issues as much as possible so as to not bore you all to tears.

MY SYMPTOMS:
- Severe anxiety in social settings (work parties, family reunions, etc) - to the point of extreme sweating, shortness of breath.

- Severe anxiety due to work related stress - to the point of tightness in the chest, and a desire to hit something or somebody (hasn't happened yet thank God).

- Mild anxiety in a variety of other situations.

Just recently I've attempted to address my anxiety with borrowed drugs. I refuse to drink alcohol - my dad is an alcoholic - I don't want that for myself. I have a very high tolerance to most drugs so I need to take a high dosage for anything to take effect. The following is a list of meds I've tried:

MEDS TRIED

- Lortab (borrowed) 10/500. I found two of these cured my anxiety beautifully, with no negative effects - no ataxia nor drowsiness, just a very effective arrest of anxiety.

- Lortab (prescribed) 10/325. Miracle cure for my acute anxiety. I could use it at work as well as any other situation. My supervisor was well aware of my prescription and was cool with it. My wife encourages me to use it because I am much more pleasant to be around when on the stuff.

- Doc also pushed Fluoxetine on me but that shit sent me into a deep depression.

- For fear of building a tolerance to Lortab, I went off Lortab in order to try Benzos. I tried Xanax, but that shit knocks me OUT COLD. Recently was prescribed 10mg Valium, but I have to pop three of those little guys just to even feel any effect -- which is usually only very mild muscle relaxation for about an hour.

Bottom line is even though Hydrocodone isn't typically used for anxiety, it works VERY well for me, whereas Benzos work more effectively as a potent tranquilizer. I can't be sleeping at work, and I can't even drive while on Xanax.

So....now what? I have a year's supply of Valium that isn't very effective. I probably won't even renew the script. I refuse to go on an SSRI. What else might work well for me?

Thanks to all for any input/constructive critism, and I apologize if I have disclosed too much.
 
Whatev works for you.....your life your choices.....if vicodin makes everything more manageable, that sounds wrong, but if it relieves your anxiety and you're still able to operate heavy machinery then F the haters!! I wish I could manage my life and use opiates, but its impossible at this point.....

As long as you are aware that you are/need to be dependent on something to lighten your proverbial load then you should be ok with your self image etc blah blah blah

Sure doesn't sound like you abuse anything, just trying to find what works! Look into suboxone, read about it...I take it for my addiction and dependency to opiates, however some have noticed anti anxiety type properties of suboxone and honestly, it makes me a very pleasant person to be around, or so I'm told....its worth some research my man

Good luck to you and welcome....hopefully the peeps here can add some good ideas in your thread
 
I feel you on that...I had a thought 20min ago 'I HATE OPIATES'. ..obviously love/hate....my first big situation with drugs and my family prompted my first outpatient and at that point I DID NOT ever want my own meds, I wanted to be OK on my own....a relapse and pneumonia in october made me willingly seek more treatment and now I take suboxone, but for me, at this point, I NEED it to survive, basically....even when I was younger and naive, just smokin herb for a few yr after high school, I used to tell my friends that I never wanted to have my own meda for any reason.....things change....I'm a lil depressed now F#$K....I'm falling y'all someone pick me up quick
 
agorapgobia is some shit..and so are panic attacks

real talk i would try talking to somebody and see if you can get on a ssri

dont believe all the horror stories

shit is a life changer

i used to use alcohol for the anxiety of being out

but it ended up making it worse
 
My supervisor is on Xanax and it works for him. He and I got to talking the other day about how we LOATHE having to take meds to feel normal. Remember when we were in our teens/20's and life was awesome without any drugs whatsoever? WTF happened to those days?


All I know is that I'm sick and tired of ruining all of my shirts from underarm sweat from social anxiety, but also terribly afraid of being chemically dependent on an addictive substance. SO I'll just tread lightly with what works for now....thank you guys for all your input.


BTW Methadone84 - how did you manage to score oxy for anxiety? If I suggested that to my Doc he would laugh first, then blackball me second. That shit's extremely potent.
 
Whipped Dream said:
My supervisor is on Xanax and it works for him. He and I got to talking the other day about how we LOATHE having to take meds to feel normal. Remember when we were in our teens/20's and life was awesome without any drugs whatsoever? WTF happened to those days?


All I know is that I'm sick and tired of ruining all of my shirts from underarm sweat from social anxiety, but also terribly afraid of being chemically dependent on an addictive substance. SO I'll just tread lightly with what works for now....thank you guys for all your input.


BTW Methadone84 - how did you manage to score oxy for anxiety? If I suggested that to my Doc he would laugh first, then blackball me second. That shit's extremely potent.
Click to expand...

I never got it from a doctor
 
yea man i want to visit your doctor... you should look into poppy pod tea if your dead set on opiates as a means of controlling your anxiety. although continued use of opiates will probably lead to addiction seeing how it runs in the family. i would suggest going with the valium or trying ativan. may not get you feeling great like the hydrocodone but it should relieve your anxiety to a managable point. good luck bud.
 
Whoa! Wait a minute! Let's pull this bus over to the side of the road for just a second... how in the hell were you able to convince your doctor to prescribe you hydrocodone for your anxiety?
 
verso said:
Whoa! Wait a minute! Let's pull this bus over to the side of the road for a second... how in the hell were you able to convince your doctor to prescribe you hydrocodone for your anxiety?
Click to expand...

yeah i want to know this. And to make this more clearer I did NOT get oxycodone from my doctor.
 
Methadone84 said:
yeah i want to know this. And to make this more clearer I did NOT get oxycodone from my doctor.
Click to expand...


My wife had a major surgery about a year ago and was prescribed Lortabs (10/500s). Well, Lortabs make her violently ill, so they've just been sitting around the house for a while....until I used them for a really bad headache one day. I noticed immediately the other effects they had on me (anxiolytic properties). My wife asked me why I was being so congenial....the rest is history. I went to my Doc and told him the straight up truth about how well Lortab works for my anxiety. He reluctantly filled a script for 60 - 10/325 tablets....along with Prozac, but Prozac makes me severely depressed.

If no Oxy from a Doc....then who/where? I'm intrigued...
 
Whipped Dream said:
My wife had a major surgery about a year ago and was prescribed Lortabs (10/500s). Well, Lortabs make her violently ill, so they've just been sitting around the house for a while....until I used them for a really bad headache one day. I noticed immediately the other effects they had on me (anxiolytic properties). My wife asked me why I was being so congenial....the rest is history. I went to my Doc and told him the straight up truth about how well Lortab works for my anxiety. He reluctantly filled a script for 60 - 10/325 tablets....along with Prozac, but Prozac makes me severely depressed.

If no Oxy from a Doc....then who/where? I'm intrigued...
Click to expand...

well someone got them from a doc. Most likely from an injury and then started selling them.

where im from the doctors do hand out oxy/hydro like candy so there is a lot going around
 
I'm going to try this with my doctor.

"So, doc, I have been taking a friend's Roxycodone (30 mg), and I've noticed that my anxiety and depression have gone away."
 
I too have anxiety problems and have been on a slew of medications ot help. I've been on several SSRIs (prozac, zoloft, celexa, lexapro...ect.) and they help mildly with an overall effect, nothing that works for an anxiety attack that comes on quickly.

I have been on xanax for several years, and recently, halcion (which can and probably will knock you out, seeing as my doctor told me to take it, brush my teeth and go STRAIGHT TO BED). And Ativan, which at a low dose has been making me really drowsy through the day (though I'm taking it 4 times a day, which is a little much even for me). I have also tried klonopin, which doesn't come on as quickly, but lasts longer than xanax, with a more mild sedative effect.

I'm no doctor, but as a member of the medical profession, I'd look into Ativan or even Halcion for severe panic episodes.

Much luck!
 
I use the deoderant with the built in stain protector yea WHATS GOOD no more yellow birdies
 
In my experience, there are no easy answers to anxiety.

Spending some time alone and contemplating it really deeply can be helpful, IME. It's all about facing matters that one has been trying to avoid or get away from (of one sort or another) and that is not easy to do in ordinary circumstances. Get away for awhile and do some real soul searching.

My own experience (and I've had a lot :-/) is that talking to others about it is not very helpful -- it's something that one has to deal with alone and by oneself, in a very radical and fundamental way. Meds can help some, and for awhile, but they don't cure the disease itself.

Enquiry: "What is the fundamental dis-ease here"? There are no shortcuts, but the result is worth it. It is ultimately a spiritual matter.
 
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You my friend have taken the right step in the right direction imo. I have a friend that tried all kinds of SSRI's for depression for years & they made her worse. She was at the point of laying in bed all day & feeling like a zombie with no ambition to do anything.

One day she was offered one Vicodin 7.5/750 for some pain & she says it was her miracle drug for her depression. She has self medicated herself ever since with Vicodins & has never gone back to Prozac or any other SSRI's. She has been on the Vicodins for a couple of years I think & she absolutely loves them. She started taking a half a day & now is up to 1.5 pills a day.

I could never unsderstand why doctors wont prescribe opiates for depression/anxiety like they use to in the 50's. They say the addiction is the problem but would you rather live in misery than have an addiction & live with happiness. I think the pharm companies would also lose out on alot of money selling the SSRI's & the lobbyists wont allow that.
 
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