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I'm 37 and still a VIrgin!?

Pretty_Diamonds said:
Why not just get a beautiful prostitute?
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Or,
you can meet people in internet. I have two colleagues who married to women they've met through Social Media.
Have your first experience will come naturally as a result of these first meetings.
 
I've been on various sides of this and I find it's opinion based in terms of what it is you yourself truly want. For example with me various women made their interests clear from a young age and my peers pressured me into pursuing it. I've always regretted it. Now I have a wife who I live with while being in a run of the mill relationship.

My point isn't that sleeping around is bad, just that you should ONLY look at what makes you happy. Letting other people dictate your expectations of what makes you worthy of appreciation as a person can only end in misery.
 
assclass said:
I think people like us are fucking worthless losers, and it is unfortunate that there isn't a death squad hunting down all the 30+ virgins and ridding the earth of our useless pathetic flesh.
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Is it really that pathetic to be a virgin at +30? I think it's juet another example of our societies unhealth obsession with sex. We feel like people, especially men, must be having sex or they're a lesser person. And I think that's bullshit and a symptom of a problem in our society. We obsess far too much over sex and other peoples sex lives.
 
Do not beat yourself up about this, and don't start taking opiates. When you meet the right woman it will not matter that you are a virgin. Have you dated women at all, ir do you have women as friends who could set you up to date one of their woman friends that is single?
 
Pretty_Diamonds said:
Why not just get a beautiful prostitute?
Click to expand...

I kinda agree here.

I dated a gal and I was her first and I pretty much had to break up with her because if that. Stage five level clinger.

I lost my virginity young. Even then I was glad to get it over with. I didn't choose a hooker but someone I knew I would not get attached to or be able to go there if I wanted.

The thing about losing your virginity to someone you want to be with, in today's society it's kinda not fair.

You probably will blow your load a bit fast. I suppose if you sleep with someone you are dating you should tell them for both your sakes even if its a one off with a friend.

Once you do it, do it again. Buy a book on sex positions. It gets easy to get good at pretty quick. I was pretty good at it by my second or third time but got way better at it.

1KW is right about not wanting to fuck like a virgin but dating like one after you fuck is gonna be the biggest hurdle if you end up with someone you like.

Only other advice is don't confuse love and lust. I could write an essay on that but I know when I like a vagina more than it's owner.
 
I disagree. I don't think anyone should care about anyones virginity except their own, and perhaps a prospective sexual partner.

I know society does care, way too much IMO. But I think a much healthier outlook is to simply not care what society thinks. So what if you're a virgin at 30?

I was raped when I was little, so I'm not sure how society factors that in, but I lost my consentual virginity pretty young, and tbh I kinda regret it. If id waited I could have lost my virginity to the man I consider my soul mate when we met when I was 22. Instead I lost it to my first boyfrend who cheated on me and grew up to be a serious asshole.

I don't put much value into virginity, I never have, and I for one wouldn't think any less of someone who was still a virgin at 30. Male or female.
 
^ Amen. It does not matter! People need to stop listening to society and start believing in themselves. The OP can have exactly who he wants to if he starts believing in himself and stop doubting himself. I guess that's why I see this as a silly matter because it's really just about him going and doing it if he truly wants to.

I didn't lose my virginity until I was like 23. That's only because I was not interested in anyone in high school or in my environment at the time. I wasn't worried about rushing out and losing my virginity. It happened when I was ready. That simple. Go get what you want. Nothing is stopping you except for yourself.
 
Pretty_Diamonds said:
Why not just get a beautiful prostitute?
Click to expand...

Yeah I was gonna suggest that but it might set his standards too high.

Maybe web dating, there gotta be a virgin section.

Maybe church.

But yeah the first time is weird. I was like ten if we are being honest. I repressed it until a few years ago but it was in the back of my mind and I finallly talked to the woman and she said yeah we did. It fucked my head up and I thought I was a virgin and was embarassed I was a virgine even though I wasn't.

I am being honest and this is not something I am comfortable elaborating.

So yeah my second time which was when I fucked after puberty was like 16 or 17 and it was an older woman who was 40 but really fucking hot. I went their to sell some blow to her son. She invited me for some drinks, we did some lines, she blew me, then we fucked. She was like that was fun, don't come back here again and sell my son drugs, this was wrong on my part.

I dunno, I took a chicks virginity and I hated it cuz she acted like it was the ultimate gift and she sucked at sex and didn't get any better but she was cute and nice so we dated about 4 months.

I really suggest fucking a prossie. Then find a nice shy girl cuz you sound like a shy guy. I never turned down sexual favors from someone I was attracted too until I got over the whole prepubescent sex thing cuz of how it went down and I will not elaborate as to why. So like 13 I started gettting bjs.

I was getting handies in grade school though on the bus with various girls and fingerbanging them so I guess I just had a two year spell of sexually fucked up in the head time. My fucked up shit in my life has nothing to do with your problem.

So yeah after having sex the first time after puberty, within a year I was very promiscuous and it kept going like that till marriage and then my second marriage and after that it got out of hand and I took a break for a few months and then started sleeping with my first wife again. That was recent but I just like always had to be sleeping with someone or I couldn't sleep at night or in a bed. Once again thats my hang up.

Anyways get it out of the way with a prossie. Get a proper escort service and get an all nighter cuz you gonna cum quick. So you want to tell them you want to fuck all night. It will be totally worth it. It is not hard to learn. It isn't hard to get good at it. It is best to do it with someone you won't ever see again at this point.

After that try dating, maybe online or ask out someone who flirts with you. Good God I don't have time to get into all that. I might make a sticky cuz I feel like I am answering the same questions over and over.
 
socko said:
It's wrong to view it that way, but that's how society looks at it. Try announcing it in front of a group of people at a party and see their reactions.
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Like you have AIDS. So a mixture of pity and disgust with a bunch of stay the hell away from me weirdo.
 
^yeah among certain people, the stigma can be ridiculous. Other girls will respect him for it, liek maybe a religious girl. When and if the OP finds somebody, if he doesn't want to admit to her that he's a virgin, it might be a good idea to say "It's been a long time." He could make up some story about a first and only love in college and say he's kind of forgotten how to do it. He could earn some sympathy with a story like that. If she figures out that he was a virgin, it's harmless enough taht he could say he was embarrassed so he lied.

dopemaster had some good suggestions.
 
^
Thanks, I try to help people in this forum because I been around the block a few times. It is good to have somebody to love or sleep with it.

You gotta be honest with yourself about what it is though.

Virginity is not much but a mental thing and once you get over the initial fear of something of that magnitude it will set you free. After I lost the V card, I felt much different about life and ended up dating rather quickly after that. So once you get it over with, it is on like Donkey Kong.

I was glad I lost mine at 16 but I probably should have done it sooner, but I explained I didn't really count my first time and won't elaborate. That has nothing to do with this thread and I dealt with it and its really not worth talking about but yeah it did fuck my head up but once again that is my life and my business.
 
socko said:
If you can find a good partner it can be worth it. Sadly, with 99 out of 100 people you will meet, you're better off living alone like a monk or priest. If you feel lonely, get a pet. Some people find that doing opiates helps, but that carries its own risks.
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I rather go back in time and be a virgin than never of had tried an opiate.... WOW.
 
As long as this doesn't trouble you, nothing wrong with it whatsoever! Too many people view sex as a meaningless act in the moment and then act shocked when there are complications afterward. (i.e. catching feelings, rape allegations, accidental pregnancy, STDs, rumors/disrespect, etc). Sex is an intimate act and not free of consequences, so it's good to save it for someone you care about...if anyone.

Keep doing you, OP!
 
Good posts from JessFR in this thread, I also agree with dopemaster's suggestion re: hiring an escort
 
CoastTwoCoast said:
Hmmm...well I don't think it's that big of a deal. This guy just needs to go out there and get laid already. Haha
Seems simple to me. I don't know...
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I just had to respond to this thread as I have an issue with both this post, and your viewpoint.

I actually see since starting to write this post that you have kind of qualified it with your next post in this thread, but nonetheless I think the way it comes across is really not helpful and overall just pretty damn ignorant and insensitive, akin to telling a depressed person that they should just "cheer up" or asking why they have to be such a downer all the time. Obviously it seems simple to you, but you are correct that you really just don't know.

Regardless of whether the OP's situation is inherently an important one, it's obviously important to them (and unfortunately, probably is socially important for a variety of reasons already discussed as well), so we can probably assume that if they felt capable of "just getting laid already" they would probably have done so at some point in the last 20 years plus.

Although it might seem as simple as breathing for those to whom it has never been a problem, building friendships, relationships and intimacy is a skill which is not born into us but learned through our experiences and interactions with others. Some people for one reason or another never acquire a part of this important social skillset and thus although they are obviously able, like the rest of us, as human beings able to converse and interact with one another, they may not at this moment be actually capable of exercising this ability.

I would hazard a guess that the reason they never developed the aformentioned skills is down to some kind of diagnosable mental health condition such as depression or anxiety which was sadly not caught at an early stage. By now whatever caused the original problem is no doubt massively compounded by the huge social stigma attached to being a 37 year old virgin, which means it will be more difficult but not impossible to overcome. Nonetheless I would suggest to the OP that the first thing they should do if they have not already is to seek treatment for these conditions, after which they will no doubt be far more capable of overcoming the secondary issue of being a 37 year old virgin (again, I don't mean to imply this is an issue in any objective sense, but it is obviously important to the OP and is thus something they should seek to overcome).
 
Vastness said:
I just had to respond to this thread as I have an issue with both this post, and your viewpoint.

I actually see since starting to write this post that you have kind of qualified it with your next post in this thread, but nonetheless I think the way it comes across is really not helpful and overall just pretty damn ignorant and insensitive, akin to telling a depressed person that they should just "cheer up" or asking why they have to be such a downer all the time. Obviously it seems simple to you, but you are correct that you really just don't know.

Regardless of whether the OP's situation is inherently an important one, it's obviously important to them (and unfortunately, probably is socially important for a variety of reasons already discussed as well), so we can probably assume that if they felt capable of "just getting laid already" they would probably have done so at some point in the last 20 years plus.

Although it might seem as simple as breathing for those to whom it has never been a problem, building friendships, relationships and intimacy is a skill which is not born into us but learned through our experiences and interactions with others. Some people for one reason or another never acquire a part of this important social skillset and thus although they are obviously able, like the rest of us, as human beings able to converse and interact with one another, they may not at this moment be actually capable of exercising this ability.

I would hazard a guess that the reason they never developed the aformentioned skills is down to some kind of diagnosable mental health condition such as depression or anxiety which was sadly not caught at an early stage. By now whatever caused the original problem is no doubt massively compounded by the huge social stigma attached to being a 37 year old virgin, which means it will be more difficult but not impossible to overcome. Nonetheless I would suggest to the OP that the first thing they should do if they have not already is to seek treatment for these conditions, after which they will no doubt be far more capable of overcoming the secondary issue of being a 37 year old virgin (again, I don't mean to imply this is an issue in any objective sense, but it is obviously important to the OP and is thus something they should seek to overcome).
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I was trying to help, but thank you for pointing that out.

I'm not quick to judge a guy in certain areas so I'm sorry if that particular post was in bad taste.
 
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