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Recovery If you think staying clean and sorber is easy, go get some!!

Sunrise- Im doing really bad today. Very very depressed - feeling like I can't do this anymore. I know what it's like to still have to be mommy when you're sick as a dog. My daughter was 2 when I started struggling w opiate addiction-running out of my meds early. I know how difficult it is to have to be mommy when you need to be cared for. She's the reason I got on methadone - that was a long time ago. Girl-my heart is w you. I am feeling so low. I lost my connection-which is actually good-it just doesn't feel that way right now....

In about 7 days my husband and I are meeting w investors- that are willing to invest alot of money in a business we're going to start. I cant even feel excited about it. Im so angry w myself for relapsing. Know that my thoughts, the best possible vibes I have are with you. We have to hang on tight today. All the best. -S
 
10YearsGone said:
Sunrise- Im doing really bad today. Very very depressed - feeling like I can't do this anymore. I know what it's like to still have to be mommy when you're sick as a dog. My daughter was 2 when I started struggling w opiate addiction-running out of my meds early. I know how difficult it is to have to be mommy when you need to be cared for. She's the reason I got on methadone - that was a long time ago. Girl-my heart is w you. I am feeling so low. I lost my connection-which is actually good-it just doesn't feel that way right now....

In about 7 days my husband and I are meeting w investors- that are willing to invest alot of money in a business we're going to start. I cant even feel excited about it. Im so angry w myself for relapsing. Know that my thoughts, the best possible vibes I have are with you. We have to hang on tight today. All the best. -S
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Slip ups happen. A relapse is a full return to the mindset of addiction which is doing whatever it takes to get your drug of choice. It doesn't sound like that's where you are. Besides dwelling on it isn't gonna help anything and guilt is a big trigger to use for many people.
 
CJ- thanks for the kick in the ass. I had horrible cravings yesterday. But you make a good point- I haven't resorted to doing everything possible to get dope. However- right now I live in the middle of nowhere (I live about 10mins away from Philly) -in a very suburban area, Im broke-so all that helps.

I need a support group. To be around others that get this.

Sunrise-I think it's important to remember the depression can be crushing while detoxing-but it does lift. Its 6:40am here in rainy, cold Exton, Pa. I feel less depressed- yesterday was a bad day. It happens. You will get through this. As always, tons and TONS of positive vibes to you. xo
 
10YearsGone said:
CJ- thanks for the kick in the ass. I had horrible cravings yesterday. But you make a good point- I haven't resorted to doing everything possible to get dope. However- right now I live in the middle of nowhere (I live about 10mins away from Philly) -in a very suburban area, Im broke-so all that helps.

I need a support group. To be around others that get this.

Sunrise-I think it's important to remember the depression can be crushing while detoxing-but it does lift. Its 6:40am here in rainy, cold Exton, Pa. I feel less depressed- yesterday was a bad day. It happens. You will get through this. As always, tons and TONS of positive vibes to you. xo
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Exactly. Give yourself some credit for the progress you already made.
 
Ok so Im trying for the last time. I really enjoyed the music TPD!!! Yesterday night I was actually looking at the stars. Im lucky to live where there is no "lights" pollution of any kind. It is absolutly magic. I was kind of missing you TPD!! 10years, I so appreciate you thinking of me! Your words means a lot to me a this moment. Thanks very much. Im happy to read that today was a good day for you! Keep up the good work! My toughts goes towards you! Youre making it and youre doing it! Day 4 for me, so hard, cravings loads. Could be so easy to go and gets some...Arghhh. Funny thing, well at leats for me: Last summer I tried to grow cbd weeds for my chronic pain to make into oil. Didn't work out. So today as I was in a really bad place in my wds, I taught of smokig some, even tough I stopped smoking weed like 15 years ago. Well I just took one it and bang, high as a clown, I just can't believe it...
10 years, go girl, we are doing it and beating it!
 
I've been busy with various duties Sun, sorry I haven't had time to shoot you any pms. I'll try and write one later tonight. Glad you enjoyed the AIR :)
 
Hey Sunrise--Im always thinking of you. Where I live now, is actually only 15-20 mins from where I grew up but the sunsets and sunrises are amazing. Bright fuscia, purple, bright yellow. Just breathtaking. Its the weirdest thing.

Im glad you're doing well. Its a process - but as long as you're going forward and trying then its all good. Im not doing perfect but Im working on it- and most importantly I want to stop not stay the same. Im glad I have you to talk with. please feel free to PM me.

TPD- I love ya. Thanks for your kindness and support. -S
 
This is all anyone could ask - that you're work'n on work'n it all out :) Whenever anyone is foolish to ask me "how I did it" (I assume they mean got "off drugs" :\) I reply, "by getting good at making mistakes and learn what true resilience is all about." Or something to that effect. Keep up the great work 10!

Have you been having a better time today at least? Or have you had a chance to do anything nice for yourself today, something that brought you even just a little bit of joy?
 
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10yearsgone! Your in my toughts also a lot! I have to go and wake up the kids, Ill wright to you later! Ok? Hope your good!
And TPD, your like a guarding angel for so many of us! Thanks so much! Good day to all!
 
Sunriseoversea said:
I was not strong enough...Im such a looser. I can't take it anymore.
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sunrise -

I don't know you - but I certainly know the feeling of not being strong enough and being a loser. Please don't think like that. Believe me, it doesn't help and it is NOT true. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, figure out what happened and go from there.

You are in good company here. We will not judge and can offer suggestions/support. Tell us what happened - when you can. But for now, keep coming back and, above all else, keep fighting.

- VE
 
VE is right. Until about day 17 I was a total mess. But things start to really improve rather quickly. You just have to know that it will take a couple weeks. But there is light at the end. Shit I'm just post the welds and I have a dim candle.... That's better then there black abyss of the first two weeks.

Hang in honey
 
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