Pretty_Diamonds
Bluelight Crew
Thick watch? + one thick bracelet. Then blame the rest on the factory.
Try bio-oil for the scars.
Try bio-oil for the scars.
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Life Advice & Visual Arts
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If you saw someone with cuts all over?
- Thread starter zombiesarepeaceful
- Start date
beagleboy
Bluelighter
No, I am able to help another person, but I would not address the scars at a later date.
Perpetual Indulgence
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2004
- Messages
- 20,518
that mental obstacle can be harder than getting rid of scars
footscrazy
Bluelight Crew
They would/do catch my attention, and I probably would consider the person a little more deeply than I otherwise would have. Not necessarily in a bad or good way though. I often notice things like that though and then feel uneasy that the person in question has noticed my reaction and feels like I'm judging them. It's usually just a neutral reaction of actually becoming aware of something, but then I wonder if they're pissed off or offended by it.
I work with this young girl, she has plenty of cuts up down, side 2 side. Every fucking where on her arms.
My initial thought was not to stare, because I didn't want to upset her. I personally was freaked out a bit, it honestly made me a tad uncomfortable.
I didn't judge her about the "cuts" I was more interested in why she did that to herself?
I could never give myself scars that I would later regret,and then try to cover them up. Its not worth doing that to yourself.
It would be a fucked up daily reminder every day you wake up take a shower looking at your scars, looking in the mirror ending up hating yourself, worried about what other people think of you.
If anyone is a cutter I would give it up, go buy a punching bag, write your thoughts down or something.
My initial thought was not to stare, because I didn't want to upset her. I personally was freaked out a bit, it honestly made me a tad uncomfortable.
I didn't judge her about the "cuts" I was more interested in why she did that to herself?
I could never give myself scars that I would later regret,and then try to cover them up. Its not worth doing that to yourself.
It would be a fucked up daily reminder every day you wake up take a shower looking at your scars, looking in the mirror ending up hating yourself, worried about what other people think of you.
If anyone is a cutter I would give it up, go buy a punching bag, write your thoughts down or something.
'medicine cabinet'
Bluelighter
interesting you started this post, when i was in line at the clinic this other day, a young girl came in, had to only be 20 or so. but she had sores on her, scabs on arms, legs, the kind of stuff you are common to see on a hard drugs user, tracks ect, but i had a feeling this girl was some fuckwads puching bag. i mean, it looked like she could have been tossed from a moving car. i felt really bad for her. especially because i have a 21 year old sister, when she showed up at my apt with a black eye claming first it was from a softball, to which i queried since when do you play softball? no answer. then i hear from my parents it was from a car door. next time she came over with her looser bf i made sure to have my 45 sitting on the table. she left the room and i told him if anything ever happens to her i am holding you responsible and told him i would bury 230 grains of jacketed hollow point in his brain multiple times. he seemed to get the picture. plus my sister would punch him or heel punch him if she was pissed. hes in jail now, hopefully getting stabbed in the but with a wang from a guy named ted.
I reacted a couple of times staring... once I was going at a concert and there was this girl, wearing a sleeveless shirt and with both arms completely covered in scars, some of them kinda fresh. I was tempted to ask her if she was alright, but then moved on.
Luckily when I cut myself I stuck to the shoulder. I don't like sleeveless shirts, so they're exposed only if I go to the beach or something. But a few days ago I was a volounteer for an fMRI experiment and the experimenters had no coats to give me, so they saw the shoulders and I wondered if they noticed. And when I was 18 something even worse happened: I was being visited by an insurance medical examiner (I was ran over by a car and we were asking damages) and my mother was with me.
At the end of the visit he asked me 'what about those scars there?', and my mother promptly replied 'he fell from motorbike while crossing rough terrains and fell on rocks blabla'. He looked at her with pity and said 'those are blade cuts'. Probably one of the most embarassing moments of my life, and something I should have sued the doctor for
Luckily when I cut myself I stuck to the shoulder. I don't like sleeveless shirts, so they're exposed only if I go to the beach or something. But a few days ago I was a volounteer for an fMRI experiment and the experimenters had no coats to give me, so they saw the shoulders and I wondered if they noticed. And when I was 18 something even worse happened: I was being visited by an insurance medical examiner (I was ran over by a car and we were asking damages) and my mother was with me.
At the end of the visit he asked me 'what about those scars there?', and my mother promptly replied 'he fell from motorbike while crossing rough terrains and fell on rocks blabla'. He looked at her with pity and said 'those are blade cuts'. Probably one of the most embarassing moments of my life, and something I should have sued the doctor for
His Name Is Frank
Bluelight Crew
Apology accepted, tkarr.
Fuck it. I aint hiding shit. Fuck that. I aint gonna be uncomfortable just because it might make somebody else uncomfortable for me to be myself. Fuck them.
I rock my scars. . . and fresh ones. . . I dont give a shit if I got blood dripping down my arm. Im a sick fuck, who cares. Im already fightin against the whole world. death is inevitable, i just dont put up a front like I pretend it aint.
I think when I take my scars out for an airing my favorite shirt really adds to the 'stay away from me cuz im fucking insane" or on th e flip side, "come to me because youre as sick and crazy as i am" effect. Im too fucked in the head anyways. I dont want to waste time with people who would like me until they find that out, so might as well put it out there in the open right off the bat so i know that anyone who fucks with me is doin it cuz they know who i really am and are ok with that.
shirt pictured for your viewing pleasure/disgust, whichever side youre on lol
I think "FUCKED AND LEFT FOR DEAD" shirt really works well accessorized with some good old razor marks. Totally the hot look for summer 2013. lol.
2013 will be remembered as the year laceyk totally fuckin lost it and came out the cutting closet lol
Fuck the world!
I rock my scars. . . and fresh ones. . . I dont give a shit if I got blood dripping down my arm. Im a sick fuck, who cares. Im already fightin against the whole world. death is inevitable, i just dont put up a front like I pretend it aint.
I think when I take my scars out for an airing my favorite shirt really adds to the 'stay away from me cuz im fucking insane" or on th e flip side, "come to me because youre as sick and crazy as i am" effect. Im too fucked in the head anyways. I dont want to waste time with people who would like me until they find that out, so might as well put it out there in the open right off the bat so i know that anyone who fucks with me is doin it cuz they know who i really am and are ok with that.
shirt pictured for your viewing pleasure/disgust, whichever side youre on lol
NSFW:
I think "FUCKED AND LEFT FOR DEAD" shirt really works well accessorized with some good old razor marks. Totally the hot look for summer 2013. lol.
2013 will be remembered as the year laceyk totally fuckin lost it and came out the cutting closet lol
Fuck the world!
herbavore
Bluelight Crew
Lots of interesting opinions on this and I just had a conversation about it last night with a young friend of mine (a guy) that had recently seen scars on the legs of a new girlfriend. He was wondering what I thought he should say or not say because I have told him about cutting in my far distant past (almost 60 now and I was a very young girl when I did it). We have a lot of discussions over in TDS/Mental Health about self harm and all I can say is that even looking back after so many years and studying what psychology has to say about it, I don't think there is any true consensus about what compels a person to do it, what it provides or why eventually that individual stops (I have never actually known a middle aged or older person that does this though that's only my experience). some people see it as a release, others as self-loathing and others as simply an extreme habit.
Two things I can tell you from where i am now. The source that compelled me was deep and obscure--some kind of disconnect between my inner self and my outward self that was adjusting to the new pressures of adolescence/adulthood with both my peers and society in general. Psychology treats it as a symptom of anxiety and an attempt at control in a world that feels overwhelmingly uncontrollable (like OCD). I think that is probably true but it goes to an even deeper level, a spiritual level. Then all sorts of destructive habits build up around it, like the ritual of it, the release it provides etc. I see it being very similar to needle users that get addicted to the needle as well as what's in the needle. Then of course there is the shame to deal with on top of what was underneath it to begin with.
So, that was my long-winded way of saying that if I saw scars on someone else, I would feel empathy. I would not presume that his or her experince was identical to mine but I would assume that there was pain and shame and for that I would try to find a way to tactfully and gently connect with the person. If they gave the me a signal that it was OK to talk about it, I would. If they preferred to hide it, I would never push. I am at an age where I no longer feel the need to hide anything but I am very aware that is not the case for my younger friends.
The scars do fade. Mine were very faint by my late twenties and are barely discernible at all now--in fact most of them are gone. I didn't do anything special but I have heard wonders about Bio-cream as someone mentioned above.
For anyone out there self-harming: try to figure out how to align your true self and the self you present to the world. Stand up for your uniqueness--whether it is your body type, your personality, your learning style, your tastes, your sexuality or your gender identification. Define your life and create it at the same time. Most of us spend years saying "no" to ourselves when there is really no reason to do so. Self acceptance and faith in a bigger picture than the one presented is all it takes to start saying yes or at the very least, "why not?"
Two things I can tell you from where i am now. The source that compelled me was deep and obscure--some kind of disconnect between my inner self and my outward self that was adjusting to the new pressures of adolescence/adulthood with both my peers and society in general. Psychology treats it as a symptom of anxiety and an attempt at control in a world that feels overwhelmingly uncontrollable (like OCD). I think that is probably true but it goes to an even deeper level, a spiritual level. Then all sorts of destructive habits build up around it, like the ritual of it, the release it provides etc. I see it being very similar to needle users that get addicted to the needle as well as what's in the needle. Then of course there is the shame to deal with on top of what was underneath it to begin with.
So, that was my long-winded way of saying that if I saw scars on someone else, I would feel empathy. I would not presume that his or her experince was identical to mine but I would assume that there was pain and shame and for that I would try to find a way to tactfully and gently connect with the person. If they gave the me a signal that it was OK to talk about it, I would. If they preferred to hide it, I would never push. I am at an age where I no longer feel the need to hide anything but I am very aware that is not the case for my younger friends.
The scars do fade. Mine were very faint by my late twenties and are barely discernible at all now--in fact most of them are gone. I didn't do anything special but I have heard wonders about Bio-cream as someone mentioned above.
For anyone out there self-harming: try to figure out how to align your true self and the self you present to the world. Stand up for your uniqueness--whether it is your body type, your personality, your learning style, your tastes, your sexuality or your gender identification. Define your life and create it at the same time. Most of us spend years saying "no" to ourselves when there is really no reason to do so. Self acceptance and faith in a bigger picture than the one presented is all it takes to start saying yes or at the very least, "why not?"
Pagey
Bluelight Crew
I really doubt people would judge you. Personally, if I didn't know the perosn I wouldn't go talk to them or whatever but I'd certainly feel sorry for them...would only be empathy though. No judgement. But I would think about them a bit.
my girlfriend has these kinds of scars, and everyone that sees them always approaches her and gives her this nasty look, and goes "Are you a cutter? hmm ya shouldn't do that ya know" even though the scars are years old and there are no fresh ones, EVER. I am constantly amazed by people fucking rudeness, man. It's like just people that we walk by on the street, never met before ever! she usually just makes it a joke and replies with: "Oh I was mauled by a bear" or something of the like lol
Venrak
Bluelight Crew
I've got some decent scars on my arms, legs and chest. They are obvious slashes done by a blade, and a few of them are pretty fucking wide.
People don't seem to pay much attention to them. They don't bother me either, I've been at peace with them for a while. They remind me of things...
People don't seem to pay much attention to them. They don't bother me either, I've been at peace with them for a while. They remind me of things...
BabyDollGoesOff
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jul 18, 2013
- Messages
- 30
To say I don't notice it at all or take it into account would be silly. I'm an observant person. It doesn't make me think less of them at all though. I don't think it ever could.
I see a lot of people every day, from all walks of life, and I always try to treat them in the best way possible...and this depends on how they act all around.
If I saw someone with scars, and they didn't seem nervous about me seeing them, then I probably wouldn't change how I act in any way. If for some reason I thought they were...well, I just remain my open and cheeful self, and refrain from doing something foolish like stare awkwardly, appear put off, behave rudely, etc. But I don't know why I would ever do that anyway.
I see a lot of people every day, from all walks of life, and I always try to treat them in the best way possible...and this depends on how they act all around.
If I saw someone with scars, and they didn't seem nervous about me seeing them, then I probably wouldn't change how I act in any way. If for some reason I thought they were...well, I just remain my open and cheeful self, and refrain from doing something foolish like stare awkwardly, appear put off, behave rudely, etc. But I don't know why I would ever do that anyway.
laughingdead
Bluelighter
Fuck it. I aint hiding shit. Fuck that. I aint gonna be uncomfortable just because it might make somebody else uncomfortable for me to be myself. Fuck them.
I rock my scars. . . and fresh ones. . . I dont give a shit if I got blood dripping down my arm. Im a sick fuck, who cares. Im already fightin against the whole world. death is inevitable, i just dont put up a front like I pretend it aint.
I think when I take my scars out for an airing my favorite shirt really adds to the 'stay away from me cuz im fucking insane" or on th e flip side, "come to me because youre as sick and crazy as i am" effect. Im too fucked in the head anyways. I dont want to waste time with people who would like me until they find that out, so might as well put it out there in the open right off the bat so i know that anyone who fucks with me is doin it cuz they know who i really am and are ok with that.
shirt pictured for your viewing pleasure/disgust, whichever side youre on lol
NSFW:
I think "FUCKED AND LEFT FOR DEAD" shirt really works well accessorized with some good old razor marks. Totally the hot look for summer 2013. lol.
2013 will be remembered as the year laceyk totally fuckin lost it and came out the cutting closet lol
Fuck the world!
I agree with this. I have scars on my arms and I don't care what anyone thinks although I do cover them up when I need to make a good first impression. i.e. job interview, etc. Other than that, what do I care what some random asshole thinks?
If it's a stranger your walking past in the street or even a client your working for, you just ignore the cut/scares, you don't start questioning them about it making them feel awkward. Treat them as normal!
If it's someone you start working with, same thing, ignore cuts/scares, treat them as normal. Then over time if you feel you have made a friendship with them, and you don't come across as just a nosey person. It shouldn't be to bad to ask them as long as you ask them in a friendly and concerning way.
If you do ask them and they don't want to talk about it, you need to respect their choice. And don't ever bring it up again, as it's clearly not your business.
This is just common sense.
If it's someone you start working with, same thing, ignore cuts/scares, treat them as normal. Then over time if you feel you have made a friendship with them, and you don't come across as just a nosey person. It shouldn't be to bad to ask them as long as you ask them in a friendly and concerning way.
If you do ask them and they don't want to talk about it, you need to respect their choice. And don't ever bring it up again, as it's clearly not your business.
This is just common sense.
What 23
Ex-Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2013
- Messages
- 3,905
My thoughts when I have seen those with scars from cutting:
"Hmm, she cut herself... She may have had some difficulty."
I haven't seen fresh ones. Not in memory. In high school I may have thought they secretly wanted attention for it.
I tend to think there are a variety of reasons people do it, and sometimes a variety per person.
The only time I self harmed was when my ex and I almost broke up right before my cousins wedding, and I suspected her of falling for a new guy. I was pissed, and burnt my under-forearm with a cigarette twice. It looked like a snakebite.
I can see how cutting could be cathartic.
"Hmm, she cut herself... She may have had some difficulty."
I haven't seen fresh ones. Not in memory. In high school I may have thought they secretly wanted attention for it.
I tend to think there are a variety of reasons people do it, and sometimes a variety per person.
The only time I self harmed was when my ex and I almost broke up right before my cousins wedding, and I suspected her of falling for a new guy. I was pissed, and burnt my under-forearm with a cigarette twice. It looked like a snakebite.
I can see how cutting could be cathartic.