If you could time travel to the past 2000 years ago, what ONE thing would you take?

[Mugz]

Yeah can see where you are coming from, I think it would definitely be interesting to have been around at the time when he was supposed to have been around, he would only have been 12 at the time though so I could probably assasinate him and impersonate him and say it was a miracle 14 year ageing process in one day or something like that 8)

I'm not too sure what they had back then but they must have had some sort of metal to be able to craft into making wires, even if the radio transmitter was like 100 square ft it still might work with materials back then.

I think taking on the role of jesus and altering history to make him a badass would be better though .

Why do we only get to choose from the last 2000 crappy years and not the infinitely more intriguing ones that preceded them?

Because that is the time that I chose for this fun thread, so there

 

[Myshkin]

Wasn't he between twelve and sixteen at the time, depending on which bit of (very very sketchy) 'evidence' you go by? I agree, it'd be interesting.

I wouldn't be so quick to take his place though - he only had about three good years and then supposedly met with a very grisly fate. Didn't get laid much either, if you believe the propaganda that is.

 

[Mugz]

I wouldn't take his place and do as he supposedly did, I would take his place and do something completely different

 

[Myshkin]

If you could make sure that Paul of Tarsus died then you might be on to changing the course of world history.

If you're just after usurping the Lamb of God and availing yourself of the Jesus-groupies then in the short term it might be fun, but I don't think a populist-yet-heretical Jewish sect centring on the Word of Mugz would turn out quite as successful in the long run.

 

[Mugz]

Changing the course of world history with one item was what this thread was meant to be about but it kind of got EADDd, lol. Still a good thread

When I made the thread the thought of taking on the life of Jesus hadn't occured to me to be honest, but it has derailed into that. I still think that there must be one massively significant thing or many that if present 2000 years ago could have changed the course of humankind and we could have been either far better off for it or exstinct.

 

[Allein]

I'm not too sure what they had back then but they must have had some sort of metal to be able to craft into making wires, even if the radio transmitter was like 100 square ft it still might work with materials back then.

Yeah I'd give you a decent chance of making a crystal radio receiver, you don't even need a power supply for on of those, but all you would hear would be white (OK pink) noise. I transmitter would require either semiconductors or thermionic valves, I guess you might be able to rig something up to make a bit of a clicking noise if it was setup close to the receiver but creating a system capable of modulating a signal so you could send voice, you would have more chance of making an internal combustion engine.

 

[Myshkin]

Well I'm not sure whether any one material object could sufficiently change the course of history - like you say, even with a gun you have limited ammunition, so it's not like you could just kill at will. Not for long, anyhow.

People have talked about taking knowledge back, which I suppose does indeed have the potential to confer power /status /wealth on the person bringing it back, but any progress from said information would be limited according to how and to whom it was disseminated, not to mention the aims and agenda of the parties it's disseminated to.

There's a lot of scope for world history to be altered, if not necessarily 'improved'.

As long as somebody could seriously damage the prospects of both Abrahamic religion and industrial capitalism then I think it's safe to say the world might be a more pleasant place right now. Then again, who's to say for sure?

 

[Allein]

As long as somebody could seriously damage the prospects of both Abrahamic religion and industrial capitalism then I think it's safe to say the world might be a more pleasant place right now. Then again, who's to say for sure?

Dr. Who ?

 

[Myshkin]

Yeah, there's always him I suppose. :D

 

[Mugz]

Yeah I'd give you a decent chance of making a crystal radio receiver, you don't even need a power supply for on of those, but all you would hear would be white (OK pink) noise. I transmitter would require either semiconductors or thermionic valves, I guess you might be able to rig something up to make a bit of a clicking noise if it was setup close to the receiver but creating a system capable of modulating a signal so you could send voice, you would have more chance of making an internal combustion engine.

If we could build a big enough antenna array too then maybe I could contact life on other planets like in the film Contact

 

[Shambles]

A fleshlight.

Really? Them things worth a wank? Was considering buying one prior to the US peevee ban cos the site I was acquiring the latter from had the former at equally low prices. Am led to believe a dedicated wanker can achieve similar results with a jar, warm pasta and olive oil. Admittedly more of a one-off kinda deal...

Unless you like serious squidgyness.

And draw the line at gooinfection.

That aside, I'm actually at a loss as to what I'd take back 2000 years. Owt creative would be contained in me noggin so would only be hardware that was the issue and I doubt I could replicate enough of that for sustained periods to make it worth a wank... Which brings us back to fleshlights/jars of pasta/actual womenfolk who would likely be impressed enough at the timetravel bit as to mean actual flesh and blood fanny would hardly be an issue anyway.

Harder question that initially thought it seems...

Actually no, K and gabba sounds reet alreet

 

[Mugz]

I forgot to mention that you are not allowed to tell anyone that you time travelled to get there with the one object to save the world.

 

[Shambles]

How would one explain a Fleshlight without invoking time travel then, Mugz?

 

[Mugz]

erm, I'm not quite sure there, I think it would have to be a private thing that you didn't show anyone and if anyone asked just say you made it from a clay mould of a womans vagina and managed to find the right materials to create it yourself. Or you could say it was a miracle. Or claim it wasn't yours.

 

[Albion]

erm, I'm not quite sure there, I think it would have to be a private thing that you didn't show anyone and if anyone asked just say you made it from a clay mould of a womans vagina and managed to find the right materials to create it yourself. Or you could say it was a miracle. Or claim it wasn't yours.

Or discreetly throw it into Jesus' lap.

 

[Mugz]

Jesus could call it Mary and say it was the vagina that he was born out of 8) (Did I take it too far?)

 

[Albion]

Not far enough IMO

 

[Mugz]

then Jesus would kind of be like a Genie that appeared out of a fleshlight instead of a lamp. I think Jesus and Genies share similar traits such as magic/miracles and wit and charm. Maybe Jesus was a Genie

Who would Alladin be in this twisted version of Christianity then?

p.s. Am I spelling genie correctly?

 

[Myshkin]

The word 'genie' is a corrupt version of the Arabic 'djinn', who are found in Islam as a race of non-corporeal beings with free will, inhabiting the earth alongside humanity. I think. Not entirely sure that etymology's universally accepted, but I'm sure I've heard it more than once.

Whether you believe Jesus (if he even existed) had anything in common with the djinn whatsoever (i.e. whether you think he was of a supernatural, non-corporeal nature) is entirely up to you. I'm in the 'no' camp, but that's another thread entirely.

 

[Shambles]

Djinn = genie. Fleshlight = immaculate conception.

Holy spirit, eh? Man those Israelites had it easy when it came to explaining teen pregnancies.