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if you could give dealers advice ,what would u tell them

The biggest thing that pisses me off with BAD drug dealers is;

1. They are always drawlin' (Take their goddamn time)
2. They will always say they are one place, when they are at another
3. They always ask for a goddamn ride, or a cigarette (get your goddamn own)
4. Ask for you to break them out.
5. Can't count their money for shit
6. Are always to fucked up to remember anything
 
Lately since my DOC has gone from oxy bullshit college kids to a solid powder H connect here are my ratings before i would say other than quality they were always less than 5 but here is my H guy ratings.

a. Punctuality- He knows when i call it will take me 30 minutes to drive to his side of town and tells me he will be at the spot in exactly 35 minutes and call when im there so he gets a 8-9 on that one. I will call an hour in advance and he will tell me be here at 7 and hes calling me at 6:50 to make sure im on the way so very good there.

b. Consistency- He always has product 24/7 and if he doesnt he tells me im waiting on the re-up it'll be at 7 and at 6:45 he calls and tells me im ready get here. So a 10 for him.

c. Price- Well the price kinda sucks down here for Powder H as im in Arkansas so im just glad to have that kind of connect.The price is way higher than most places with powder H but compared to what i was paying for oxy's before hand i cant complain $100 bucks gets me and my girl high as where i needed at least $150-$200 before so he gets a 8.

d. Quality- He tells me when hes getting low so i know the batch may be weaker than before. And when he gets a new shipment like this last week I know it will be flame. So at least hes honest on that front. So ill give him a 7.

All in all im very lucky to even have found this hookup where im at and hes always got shit usually on time or waiting for me which is nice and hes very discreet and safe about shit. If he see's cops rollin around he calls me and is like "yo cops been around be careful and meet me here instead." He's a straight dude and very business so it works for me and i dont haveta deal with idiot college kids thinking they're the next scarface bigshot douchebag.
 
Ugh, I'd hate to think of how many hours of my life have been wasted by dealers bullshit. Here's a little rundown of tips for all the dealers who, undoubtably, frequent this board-

1) As many people have said TIME MOTHERFUCKER! We aren't buying pizza, we drug users are a pretty understanding bunch, most of us know that there's every chance that we're gonna have to wait around for a few hours when we call you and we're gonna accept that you might text us telling us that you're gonna be an hour late- but BE REALISTIC WITH YOUR TIMING! If you are 2 hours away on the other side of town don't bullshit me and say you'll be 20 minutes, you're not gonna be 20 minutes- it's gonna be 2 hours. Tell me, honestly, how long you're gonna be. Similiarly, if you get delayed- say you're waiting on some shit to be delivered to YOU and your guy texts you being all "Yo, another hour. Patience is a virtue bitch" while smokes a little more meth and refuses to give up on that orgasm that he's been working on for the last 3 hours- tell me you're gonna be over an hour late, don't say "I'm a little behind, prob be about 20 minutes".

2) This leads nicely to- don't act like you're a fucking high-rolling drug baron. The fact that I, a grubby drug user, is talking to you and handing you money means you ain't shit. I hate this shit, every fucking knickle and dime pot dealer thinks they're fucking scarface. Not only does it make you an asshole to deal with but it also means that you end up looking bad. What do I mean? If I'm buying an oz of weed off you and it's a good price and good weed and that, but it's a bit leafy because you bought a lb 20% of which was cabbage- and although you kept most of it for butter each oz has a few g's of cabbage- fucking tell me! Explain that you got a bit of a shitty pound, the price is still right and it's not like I'm not gonna understand. Similiarly, if your acid/MD/speed/whatever is weaker that usual because that's just what you got, fucking be honest and tell me- there's every chance that I'll just buy more because I wanna get high and I know what it take to get me high, underdosing me is just going to make me have a crap experience because of you and that is gonna piss me off.

3) Get good scales, calibrate them (although this can work both ways- once had a dealer who's scales were obviously fucked- every oz of weed weighed 31.7g) and fucking USE THEM. Sometime I'll get more than I pay for when you eyeball shit, but most of the time I won't and I'd just prefer to know how much I'm actually getting. Oh and don't assume I'm not going to weigh it, because (evidently) I have better scales than you and I DO use them. Also, I'm not paying for the bag- weigh the bag and deduct it from the weight of the bag with teh powder in it and that's how much powder is in that bag, dumbass. I saw a guy who actually SOLD fucking EYEBALLED doses of 2C-B. Fortunately he only had a gram (which became 30 heafty doses) I suppose? And meth dealers, all of whom sell 'points' (100mg), yet don't have scales- point bags generally run at about 50-75mg-ish heh. Fuck, I knew a guy who bought half grams of really good crystal, he'd smoke about 300mg then turn the 2 points left into 2g of 'speed' which he then sold to get his money back. Was a fucking cunt.

4) I understand that you have no desire to be my friend. Believe it or not, I have no desire to be your friend either. I already know enough dumbass drug dealers that, sadly, I went to school with and consequently am never getting away from. This does not mean that you have to be a hostile motherfucker, be friendly, make a little small talk as we walk from where we meet to where the transaction takes place you know? I'm not trying to befriend you, I'm trying to get a feel for you to see if I should trust you- if you seem trustworthy and on to it and your gear is good I may well buy a larger amount next time. But even if your gear is good but you seem like a shady motherfucker I'm not gonna risk the hassle/getting fucked over by trying to get larger amount.

5) Don't try to intimidate me. I'm not scared of you, mainly because as a person who wants to buy drugs I don't feel like I should have a lot to be scared about. Besides, why are you trying to intimidate your clients?

6) If I have bought off you a few times, don't get all outraged if I ask about getting larger quantities. I'm not expecting you to make nothing out of middlemanning a bigger quantity from the person who supplies you, but don't take the fucking piss- $50 off a grand is such a token discount that you should just say that you don't do bulk instead of making such a ridiculous offer. This is particularly true of people who sell pills- there are just so many middle men between the importers and the street-sellers (much like weed, huge divide between growers and tinny dealers) that a lot of people who sell individual pills may only be making $50 off selling 10 pills- if you can't afford to do bulk, don't do bulk, but don't bullshit me about it (relates to 2)

7) I understand that drug dealers are often drug users and that drug dealers often became drug dealers to supplement their drug user however you don't need to be wasted all the time. I understand if I've just given you a ring out of the blue, or at night/the weekend/other times you'd expect someone to be fucked up- but trying to do a deal with someone who has taken 8mg of cloanzepam before lunch, even though we had arranged all of this the night before because he needed to mission out and get it last night, is both nigh-on-impossible and fucking infuriating! If you really want to sit around all fucking day and take drugs while you deal you basically have to deal out of your house, and let people come to your house, or else you're going to be a shitty dealer that noone wants to deal with- atleast if you deal out of your house then people will be able to come and find you and, if needs be, have a place to sit around for 45 minutes while you come out of the k-hole (I actually had a dealer go into a K-hole at my house once- sold me some K, asked if he could use the bathroom, he was gone a while- went into bathroom to find dealer holed on the floor, a fat line of K still laid out on a shaving mirror sitting on the toliet lid. Took the line and dragged him outside and put him on the couch on the porch. Dickhead)

8) Actually know what you're selling! The bullshit drug myths that I have heard drug dealers propagate about the DRUGS THAT THEY SELL is fucking headspinning! The amount of people who sell pills who actually genuinely believe that mephedrone IS MDMA is actually tragic. Similiarly, the amount of people who think that 'speed' (cut meth that is snorted) is a different drug to 'crack' (crystal meth for smoking/iv) is kinda disheartening. Do some research on what it is you're selling, if you're selling things like pills/MD get a bloody pill tester kit, use them and BE HONEST- people understand that a hell of a lot of shit are at least partially RC's, we understand- it's just most people want to know if they're about to take 200mg of mephedrone not 120mg of MDMA.

9) Don't invent slang for drugs, don't start using your in-joke name for drugs with your customers. It's ok to tell me to use different 'codes' when talking on the phone/texting (like, what to ask for/about) but really, when I'm standing with you weed's weed baby. On a similar note, don't use motherfucking hip-hop terminology/slang. Just because you understand it does not mean that I do and it makes you look like a fucking idiot using black LA slang standing around in Wellington, New Zealand in the ass-end of the South Pacific. Don't start using terms from that rap song you just heard just because you think it makes you sound cool. It just makes things even more complicated, drug already have a bazillion names for fucks sake.

10) Don't act like you're put upon, that selling me drugs is some terrible burden that you have to bear. I'm sorry I assumed that this was something that you did to MAKE MONEY and that me GIVING YOU MONEY would assist you in doing so. If you're not 'really' a dealer, you just middleman now-and-then, then be honest/clear about this- once again, I understand how irritating it is if you're not actually a dealer and people are always hassling you to cop for them, I won't bother you if it's not gonna be worth you while (and if I'm desperate I'll know to offer you a little something because it isn't you're job, you're just doing me a favour). Similiarly, if you are a part-time dealer (i.e. you have a legitimate job and deal on the side) then tell me when you work and when is best for me to try to meet up with you and I'll keep that in mind when I'm thinking about trying to get shit off you. If you are a full-time dealer and it is your job then you have no excuse for not being consistant. I know that there is a lot more to dealing than people think and that there are times when you will just be genuinely busy with real world stuff- but tell me, keep me in the loop. Just like if you're going on holiday and you've know about it for months- tell me a few weeks in advance, I may well put in a particularly big order prior to you leaving (which gives you extra spending money for your trip- everybody wins). Dealing may be fairly easy money, but it's a bitch of a lifestyle and if you don't want to do it DON'T DO IT! If you are a drug dealer people will treat you like a drug dealer, they will absolutely assume that you have nothing better to do than schlep your way around to sell them drugs- don't belittle/patronize/generally be shitty to your customers or the first time they come across a better connection you'll never see them or their money again. I've seen people go from literally making thousands of dollars profit a week to making nothing simply because no one would deal with him anymore once his cliental hooked up with another guy who sold (this was involving social dealing, so there was more whining and bitching about this turn of events than legs being broken and guns being pointed in faces)
 
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When I ask what's in the pills don't just be like " durp it's MDMA dawg they dank!" and then it turns out there is no MDMA in it. Know what's in your shit you sell. If I have to go to the hospital because you lied and gave me bad shit I will make it my goal to fuck you up.
 
Quote from the beginning of Layer Cake. He has a good mentality, Its only when he starts to break those rules that shit gets fucked. I only disagree with the bit about cutting.

It is vital that we work to a few golden rules. Always work in a small team. Keep a very low profile. Only deal with people who come recommended. It's like selling anything: Washing machines, handmade shoes, blowjobs. As long as you don't take the piss, people will come back for more. That's not to say we don't weave that magic that makes two kilos three...... but never be too greedy. Know and respect your enemy.It is only very, very stupid people who think the law is stupid. And avoid like the fucking plague...... loud, attention-seeking wannabe gangsters...... in it for the glory, to be a face, to be a name.
 
a) answer your phone either way
b) I am not buying pounds/ounces/pills by the 100. If I am talking to you, you are NOT that "big of a deal"
c) KNOW YOU'RE FUCKING PRODUCT and just fucking tell me what it is! Dont tell me my weed is strain-x, my pills are x-stack, my coke is un-cut, or that my molly is pure mdma when it's the same damn golden brown mda "sass" that's been around for awhile. not everything is bad, but you just make me want to hate you.
d) stop telling me stories that you're blatantly lieing about. if the story really was that fucked up, you wouldn't be telling me. That's why you've never heard my stories since i just laugh, agree w/ whatever you just said, pay you, and hint at you to gtfo my property.
e) stop trying to rape me on prices when i'm buying everything you have. you're making quick money and making your guy happy. everyone wins, you know i'm going to call you in a week, just let me fucking win for once. lol.
 
When I ask what's in the pills don't just be like " durp it's MDMA dawg they dank!" and then it turns out there is no MDMA in it. Know what's in your shit you sell. If I have to go to the hospital because you lied and gave me bad shit I will make it my goal to fuck you up.
you should take some responsibility and test your stuff yourself.

alasdair
 
Don't get annoyed or hand me lines of bullshit if I ask you questions about your product. That's my right as a consumer. If we're somewhere in public, or on the phone or online, I'll always be very vague, never mentioning the name of any drug or trying to get you to say "I'm selling [drug]." I understand why that would sound shady. But I don't think it's unreasonable to want to know where the product came from, what variety it is, or what the dose is. I'd certainly never buy any non-drug product for a hundred bucks or more without asking about exactly what I was getting. So long as I ask discretely and in a non incriminating way, what's different about drugs?

If I clearly know more scientifically about the drug or class of drugs than you, I'm not trying to start a pissing contest with you, so don't get your sagging knickers in a wad. Take what I tell you and use it to be a more informed dealer next time somebody asks you about the product.

For weed dealers, do not sell, or use the term, "mids". Ever. I know not "mids". I do know weak weed that looks deceptively like something better, and I don't want to buy it.
 
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what's wrong with mids? when someone doesn't have the cash for some crystal covered magical stuff, $20 for a big sack starts to sound nice. just don't try and say it's anything more than it is.

I don't do heroin anymore, but when I did, I had a scale. I would sit and weigh it in front of my dudes. Had a lot of dealers that would have made tons of cash from me, but they insisted on giving me half grams that weighed 0.4 with a 0.18 bag. Even recently my close friend asked if I could hook him up with my old (best) dealer, so I called him and said "hey, I have this professional customer that is a daily user and will keep coming back if you do it right." got a text later that night from the friend and he told me that my dude tried to sell him 0.15 as a half gram, so he just drove a block further and found someone who wasn't a complete idiot.

The worst is timing, and I have yet to find a heroin dealer that will EVER be even REMOTELY accurate about it. If I ever bought dope again (this time not being dependent and needing it) and they told me 20 minutes, I would aim to get there an hour and 20 minutes late. If they were to call me, let's say, an hour later, to complain I'm not there, I would simply ask them why they took an hour. So many times waiting hours and occasionally not even getting anything kills me. It's the anticipation, especially with something like heroin. If you honestly think someone is going to come in 10 minutes, every consecutive minute waiting after those 10 minutes feels like eternity. You stare at the clock, you check your phone, all the while on the brink of a panic attack every time you hear a car coming. If you had been told it was going to take 2 hours, you would at least be able to sit comfortably in your home and distract yourself with something. It would be the greatest virtue and dealers would make more money, but they will never get this idea in their heads.
 
Respect your customers,

Learn your chemistry,

Quit doing so many drugs; If I could find a sober dealer, I'd pick him over anyone,

And quit involving your annoying ass wigger friends in our deals. I can't stand when I have some doped up white trash trying to sell me a product, when the real dealer is telling the truth.
 
Stop telling me you are 6-7 min away when I have time to hit the street and score. O ya caps rock swallowing foil sucks.
 
I'm sure everything has been said before, and I know that this is more specific to my situation than others, but uh...

If you're dealing, don't let your girlfriend take control of your operation. I swear, I've called my guy before when he's in the car with his girlfriend, and I'll ask him a question like, "hey, man, do you think you can do me 4 bags for $X..." and he'll tell me, "hold on," and then I'll hear him put the phone down and ask his girlfriend. In the background, I'll hear... "no, tell him to come up with $X..."
 
A real tip no ones given you here isn't also about dealing, its about being careful and making sure you don't get caught by the popo. Have a throw-away phone, change your number every month or so. and do not talk/text over the phone, use code. No point doing everything and getting dicked and losing everything.
 
You know , it's just as much a pain in the ass on the other side too

don't call/meet for an order if you dont have the $$. No one wants to wait (especially dirty) while you get $$ - this one is obvious
don't ask for fronts all the time, or try to sell your dealer stolen crap that no one wants.
If youre gonna have $ in 2 hours, dont ask for it now and pay in 2 hours; just come back and get it in 2 hours
dont bring people with you when copping.
Don't short then say "Oh I must have forgot- Ill get you tomorrow"
don't ask to cherry pick; they all weigh the same (if dealer is reputable)
Don't leave messages/texts that say "need some heroin"
If you say 15 minutes, don't be an hour. & (yes this works both ways)
And if they tell you 15 min, don't txt every 30 seconds asking where they are. If theyre running late, a good dealer will let you know
don't pay in coins, use the coinstar please!!
Don't just give the phone number out.
$14 is not $20
dont tell me your g/f will fuck me for a bag. don't really care
if youre gonna spend 80, don't buy $20 every hour. Just buy it at once. It wastes time and just more chances to get caught
Showing up at your connects house at 3am is not cool
if your connect says dont shoot up in his yard, that doesnt mean use his neighbor's yard
Be patient. Just cause they answer the phone, doesn't mean they can drop everything and meet you that second. Dealers do have things to do sometimes too.
 
1) If you, for whatever reason, cannot complete the deal or will be delayed or whatever, don't refrain from picking up the phone because you don't want to break the bad news. I will be much more satisfied if you tell me you're gonna be late and how late (or be honest if you don't know), or that it's not gonna happen. I will not be happy if you tell me tomorrow and keep me waiting. And no, I don't keep terrorizing people with phone calls - I usually patiently wait at least 1-2 hours until AFTER the time that was agreed, because that shit never works out in a timely fashion, and don't call or message again until I have been replied or need to give new information. Other people have lives too, you know, and better things to do than wait for your phone call.

2) Stick to what was agreed. If there's a fuck-up, unless I specifically gave you free rein to buy "as much as you can get for that money", don't come back saying "Hey you know what, it cost 20$/g instead of 15, here's 2g less".

3) Don't hype up your product, especially if you didn't get it directly from the source. In most situations I will know this is not the case (and even if it is, I won't believe it), so saying "This speed is 80% pure!" or "These are 350 mic hits of acid, man!" will make me have less confidence in the strength of the product. Whenever I've had really good speed, for instance, they've never told me up front how pure it was - they just said "Here, take a bump" and let the powder do the talking.

4) Don't make bullshit excuses about why it's so expensive, and especially refrain from extra remarks about how everyone else pays even more, but I'm a good friend and get it at a special price. Just tell me that's how much it costs, or say "I bought it for X$" and leave it at that; don't continue with stories about your other expenses that you have to cover that make up the price. I'm not too interested in WHY the product costs as much as it does, 'cause it's hardly gonna change.


Drug buyers do a whole lot of stupid shit too and for the tiny, tiny amount of drugs I've arranged forward to other people, I know it can be quite tedious to deal with at times, so make sure you're being reasonable before you expect your dealer to do so. And at the end of the day, remember that they're usually risking serious sanctions by running around getting people high.
 
I don't ask for much.

Be upfront about you're product.
Don't tell me you'll call me back in a half hour, only to have me waiting for 2 hours.
If you're busy, at least answer the damn phone and tell me to hit you up tomorrow.
Don't jerk me around. If it's quality, it's quality. If it's not, it's not. Be honest, that's all I ask.
 
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