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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

If You are Thinking about Suicide, Please Read This

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im sure we all felt that way at some point ( i jus kept swingin until 12th rouds and bells ringin) stay strong please on day we will make this
 
New here to BlueLight.

I was just put on 200MG of Zoloft last week and am feeling better now
Still have the thoughts in my head, and I'm wondering how to get rid of them?

Like plans to off myself. Even though I'm somewhat happy now.
 
Pay very close attention to your mood. Most SSRI induced suicides occur within 6 weeks of initiating therapy. If you start to feel suicidal, please call your doctor immediately.
 
Wtf

Don't feel suicidal at the moment. Though I have many times in the past. what I feel is a general feeling of hopelessness. I have moved to a small shitty town, no hope of finding anyone who shares same music, books, basic intelligence, that I hope to find. Last relationship was, drug addled, massive failure. I lost my myself some where along the way, and I have not figured out how to find me again. Where am I? I have more than a lot of people, good job, where I do a good job, but, is that all there is? I see no future, no connection, loneliness looms. I can take anything but that. All my friends (in other states) are too drug immersed to go there. I do not just want to live for work. Is this all life will ever be? If so, what is the point?
 
ttown, I remember a dude once told me that 'water seeks its own level'. It took me a while to figure out what the fuck that meant but now I get it.

People of like-mind tend to find/gravitate each other. Give it time, man. For me, I want IMMEDIATE resolutions to what's getting to me. Be patient.

Are there any bookstores like Barnes and Noble, Borders that you can kick back and read at? Someone may strike up a conversation with you if they see you reading something that they dig as well. Or you may see someone reading something you are into and just say 'hey man, thats a pretty good book. If you dig that you might dig this other dude's writing as well.'

Simple stuff like that is kinda cool. It might not make you any friends but it can also be treated as practice with opening up socially.

Coffee shops are kinda cool for this kinda thing as well.
 
Could use an ear. A texting buddy really. Send me a PM if you're available. Suicide has crossed my mind more in the past month than ever before in my life, I've hit the bottom of the food chain so to speak, for the first time in my life.
 
I've decided that I don't want to live to reach my 25th birthday, which is only a month away. I don't wanna live a quarter century and have absolutely nothing to show for it. That's my new goal, in a way.
 
Sweet P......
I strongly suggest you share these feelings with your parents or a professional.
- You have had a really rough time lately.....
Please remember you have alot of support here and people who care for you-
If you are seriously considering hurting yourself seek medical attention asap <3
 
^ Yeah, I'm seeing my counsellor in a few days. I'll tell her about it then.
 
Haven't slept in two weeks, not even an hour.
Then I'm tired all day and don't feel like doing anything.
My life is shit now, I haven't gotten ANYTHING done, not even on BlueLight.

I say, FML and hang myself before my 19th birthday.
 
^^ hun, you need to keep in mind that you've gone pretty hard the last few days and your brain is struggling to keep up with the depletion of seretonin, which would not be helping to make you feel normal/happy. Please hang in there and wait for your brain's chemistry to return to normal. In the meantime, please talk to your fiancee or your parents or a close friend about how you're feeling. I know you don't really want to die, there are so many more amazing things for you to experience, and there are so many people in this world who need you <3
 
^I don't know about you- but I think we are here for a reason......we are born to learn certain lessons and when those lessons have been learned we will die.....not by our own hand......
Believe me, I have those days where it seems like it would be so much easier to just bail out on life- but things always get better <3
Life can shit on you but the next day rain gold and shower you with rainbows, stars and fairy dust ;)
Try to keep your head up! Things will get better.
 
bben said:
What hope do those of us have that have used MDMA or METHAMPHETAMINE heavily.

We have no Serotonin transporters left and gross axonal loss. Literally NO anti-depressant therapies work on this. In fact, SSRIS make it worse for many. Counseling wont do shit.

There is little evidence for re-generation and if it does take place, it takes YEARS.

Theres little to be done for us. Suicide is a viable option to end the un-ending torture that never stops and possibly wont ever.

Why shouldnt we kill ourselves?
Click to expand...

Hang onto the hope that things will get better. It may take time... even a lot of time, but the damage shouldn't be permanent. My dopamine pathways have been damaged through chronic meth use, which has left me with anhedonia - the inability to experience pleasure. It could take months or even years for my brain to repair itself, but I'm confident it will. Hang in there.
 
Sweet P said:
Hang onto the hope that things will get better. It may take time... even a lot of time, but the damage shouldn't be permanent. My dopamine pathways have been damaged through chronic meth use, which has left me with anhedonia - the inability to experience pleasure. It could take months or even years for my brain to repair itself, but I'm confident it will. Hang in there.
Click to expand...

I am unfortunately in the same situation as you Sweet P and BBEN and many many others here.
Where after years of chronic meth and MDMA use it has caught up to us.
Its almost like those good times we had were borrowed emotions that we some how used up and now that debt is being called in bigtime with interest..

Myself and my ex wife of ten years partied HARD for ten years solid and neither of us are the same people we were before.... We lost our home our relationship , careers and now it seems our very selves and what made us, US.

I only have only recently learnt here on bluelight that it was probably those years of excess that is behind what can only be described as the loss of our ability to feel happiness or genuine contentment.....

I have lost interest in all the things that I used to love .....
I find it hard to find pleasure in anything these days there is no contentment and I cant remember the last time I genuinely laughed at anything where as in the past I was the clown and relished that role.

In a perverse way i find it comforting to learn that it was the drugs that did it and that maybe just maybe my brain will recover enough for me one day to feel what I used to feel.....

Its about five months since I have used anything stronger that pot and alcohol but I have tried so many anti deps that just made things worse for me and increased the negative (suicidal) feelings. Fuck them all I say !
I have been seeing a Psych but I dont really see any benefit there and for the last few months the only thing keeping me from bowing out is the effect it would have on my family.
Its like playing a game of monopoly where you only own old kent RD and theres no way you can win but you keep throwing the dice so everyone else can still play.
Like you Sweet P I live in hope that this will get better that the spark might come back.... Seems a long shot right now but life has suprised me in the past and maybe in time it will do so again.....
Its like watching a movie you know is shit but you watch it to the end just to see how it ends.........
 
I feel like crap and need someone to talk to. My dad just found out I had been obtaining benzos behind everyones back and at the moment i've had it. I have a box of phenergan, box of anti-depressants, about 100mg of diazepam and feel like suicide.
 
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