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IDK WTF 2 do. :(

  • Thread starter Thread starter skaNskunk
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skaNskunk

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I'm not really sure where to start.. Well, I've been dating dude for about 8 years now, and it seems like all we do is fight.. he wants to do what he wants, w/ whomever where ever, which I'm ok w/. is it 2 much 2 ask for the same treatment?
All of my old friends, that I'd like to reconnect w/ are males. I have never touched any of these guys, in any sort of sexual way @ all.. It just don't seem fair to me, am I wrong?

Recently, he has been pushing me to go and stay w/ my mom for a while ( I really don't want to move back home!), time apart is probably the best thing for us, but I really have no where to go..the only pep I'd feel comfortable asking to crash is my best friend( also a dude), and I know if I'm to try and save this relationship, that's not going to work..

I'm just so confused anymore on what to do. I really don't want to walk away from 8 years, but @ the same time, we've nothing in common and fight a lot! Any1 want to try and give advice to fix an already shambled relationship? Do I just say "fuck it" and go? Let him find some1 he's more compatible. W/? Idk what 2 do anymore.. :(
 
Speak to him about it - tell him that your not happy with the current situation and that if he loves you and wishes the relationship to continue (on a fair level, not all one sided as you perceive it to be) then changes need to take place. He may be pushing you away as he doesn't want to be the one that ends it (forcing you to do it). Yes 8 years is a long time and I assume you enjoyed them, the problems is what is happening now and what will continue to happen in the future if you don't address it.

I was in a very similar situation with my ex - they thought that they could do anything they wanted but expected me to justify what I was doing, where I was going etc. I gave the speech, the situation continued, I said that I wasn't messing about and if things didn't change I would leave - I left! Life is way too short and precious to waste it in a relationship where your not happy or respected.

Good luck :)
 
So he can fuck around with other girls and you are stuck with nowhere to go? 8 years is a long time but even longer being miserable with some dude who sounds like he wants you to leave sounds even worse.

Listen to what he's telling you: he wants you to leave. He's sleeping around because he doesn't care if you don't like it or not. He wants you to leave anyway. Time to forget his feelings and go crash at your friend's.

At some point it needs to be about you and only you and this is one of those times. He's treating you like a doormat.
 
I'm afraid to say it sounds like your relationship has run its course and it's time to go.
It's very possible he doesn't quite know how to break up with you do just tries to be a twat hoping you'll leave him! I had this and I was living with her, I knew she was sleeping around n was making it obvious do Id leave her, instead I just did what I wanted n kept a roof over my head untill I had sorted somewhere else to go.
 
If it were me I would not stay in this relationship at all or try to make it work at all since you've had 8 years. You said it best, you do nothing but fight all the time and how you've got nothing in common.
 
I want to add my 2 cents.
Life is too short to stay in a relationship where all you do is fight. There is a good chance there is someone more compatible for you. Don't wake up in 8 more years and say " I should have got out back then."
 
I can certainly understand that u have invested 8 years of life. You are absolutely right, it becomes harder and harder to walk away when you keep accumulating years. You also mentioned that being home with your mom is not a place where you see yourself moving back to if things continue to not go well. Taking all of your legitimate concerns, I think that it's very unclear for u right now. You need to allow time to pass and things will begin to reveal to u as far as him goes. I am not saying you should walk away but you should prepare yourself for it. If things don't work out and u r having to move back home with your mom, then you should start building yourself now and see what you need to do to get your own place so you don't end up doing something you don't want to do. You have the time and u dont have to make a decision right at this second. After all, you waited for 8 years.

As far as the friends go, my initial response was "hell yeah...you should hang out with whoever u want" but then stepping a bit back...maybe you also need that push to start meeting girlfriends. I get along with guys better too but girls can be fun and they r much better at providing emotional support.

As far as the length of time that u have been in a relationship....Think about it, if I am one of your good friends and I say that I am unhappy....I fight with this guy all time but I been with him for 8 years...what would you say to your friend? Life is really short, you have to sometimes shut a door for another one to open. A new door will never open if you won't shut the old door. It sounds like being in any eight year relationship, you stopped on developing on urself. You r only going back to the old life you have...ie parents house....old friends. Start now...If you do the right things in life and u dont cheat, things will just start happening in the right direction. Maybe you guys will be able to work it out or maybe a sudden event will occur in where you break up. Either way, prepare yourself and instead of getting stuck on the fact that he won't let you hang out with your old male friends....ask him if he is seeing something that u r not seeing in yourself and ask him if it is an obvious concern that your social life might need a tweek here or there. He knows u for 8 yrs....give him some credits.

You will need your new gfs anyways if you end the relationship.....girls r much better than men handling emotions.
 
bad news is you've spent 8 years with some asshole that monopolizes your time, good news is you can end it.
what the worst that can happen if you stay with your best friend? this asshole will think you're fucking him?
maybe you should fuck him and then he can be your new boyfriend, problem solved.
 
skaNskunk said:
I'm just so confused anymore on what to do. I really don't want to walk away from 8 years,
Click to expand...

i understand how you feel

and 8 years is a longtime

but i feel like this part of your post is very telling

he treats you unfair and you didnt say you dont wanna walk away from him you said you dont wanna walk away from the time yall have put in

but sometimes you just gotta ' realise a poor investment and cut your loses', so to speak

good luck with everything tho
 
skaNskunk said:
I'm not really sure where to start.. Well, I've been dating dude for about 8 years now, and it seems like all we do is fight.. he wants to do what he wants, w/ whomever where ever, which I'm ok w/. is it 2 much 2 ask for the same treatment?
All of my old friends, that I'd like to reconnect w/ are males. I have never touched any of these guys, in any sort of sexual way @ all.. It just don't seem fair to me, am I wrong?

Recently, he has been pushing me to go and stay w/ my mom for a while ( I really don't want to move back home!), time apart is probably the best thing for us, but I really have no where to go..the only pep I'd feel comfortable asking to crash is my best friend( also a dude), and I know if I'm to try and save this relationship, that's not going to work..

I'm just so confused anymore on what to do. I really don't want to walk away from 8 years, but @ the same time, we've nothing in common and fight a lot! Any1 want to try and give advice to fix an already shambled relationship? Do I just say "fuck it" and go? Let him find some1 he's more compatible. W/? Idk what 2 do anymore.. :(
Click to expand...


Maybe he doesn't want you "hanging" with your male friends because you wouldn't let him "hang" with any of his female friends? This may have been an issue right when the relationship started. Have you ever ran to your phone and started talking to certain male friends only after an argument, tugging for jealousy?
Have any of these male friends had more than just touch "in ways that WERE sexual"? Did you ever try meeting up with them secretly at the bar behind their back, while flipping if he were to text a female friend about something completely nonsexual?

Its tough to accurately describe a whole array of events that lead to break down on the internet, but I hear what you're saying.

Maybe he wants to do more than sit around and watch tv and get high....and whe he invites you to get out and do something, you never want to do it. So perhaps after 8 years of tv and weed, he is trying to get more out of life. I am 100% sure he'd love to get out with you, but when you're not willing to leave the house, what is he supposed to do?
Is the only time you want to visit these male friends is when he wants to do something, but you otherwise have no desire to leave the house?

Do you treat him poorly when he's happy and you're note? Trying to bring him down, because how dare he be happy when you had a bad day at work!

This sounds a lot something I've been apart of before.
Hope it works out for you.
 
reply IDK WTF 2 do :(

Thanks for all the responses every1.
App it..

@shlong

He does what he wants..he can hang w/ his female friends, hell he has plenty on fb.. Which I don't question, and know none of them.
And as far as my male friends go.. I couldve been there and done that 10 years ago, and never did nor had any desire.

I never had female friends, and have NEVER slept w/ any of my guy friends ever.

But besides the point..
Anyhow, thanxs again every1.. App the input.
 
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