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TDS Ideation & Crisis Support

I'm sorry to hear that. It sounds like you've gotten beaten down so that you no longer feel like you can go out and create change when you need to. One of the things that has helped me when I am feeling like this is to shift the focus to others. Even volunteering to walk dogs at the shelter has gotten me out of this rut in my thinking before. Have you ever tried anything like that?
 
Yes I have and I liked it. For the past year or so, I just don't have the energy to get out and do anything.Yes, I've tried counseling and various antidepressants. Nothing helps.

Thanks anyway.
 
Finally! Someone has put into words what I could not and exactly what I'm feeling. So, please tell me...how do I escape that conflict? I want so badly to change, but I feel stuck. I'm too scared to pray for help from God because I'm afraid His help will be too painful. Does anyone understand what I'm saying? Someone please tell me they do. This has been going on for several years and I just can't seem to move past it. Someone please give me THE answer. I can. 't do this anymore.
 
If you believe in God and you are ascribing what you need to do to His?Her plan it can be scary but why not try? I don't believe in a god myself but I know sometimes that the changes I need to make are terrifying and I refuse to listen to my own better judgment. There is nothing that can make you feel more trapped that that. My only advice, and it is advice that I usually have trouble following myself, is to listen to your own best counself and take small steps to make the changes, no matter how painful you imagine them to be.

@jasperkent: I am sorry if that sounded dismissive--I didn't mean it to be. I guess what I was trying to convey is that when I have felt the worst about not only my human life but the existence of humans altogether--nature and animals are a second home that I travel to gratefully. There is no law that says we need to stay in the human paradigm all the time. Sometimes it is too much to bear and the exhaustion of it can truly kill you. <3
 
Good advice, herbavore. I have been suicidal off/on for most of my life. Many plans, but never tried intentionally. (I've overdosed a few times and I wonder if it was a subconscious effort)

Anyway, I always found comfort in the idea that suicide was an option if things got too painful to bear. Weird, huh? Came close many times, but I'm glad I didn't do it. My rescued dog is glad, too. ;)


Peace & Love,
jasper
 
It is amazing how an animal's love can pull us back from the brink.If you've gotta live for something why not make life better for a being that had no hand at all in the terrible mess we've made of this world?<3
 
Yeah. Once recently I came really really close to going through with it. My dog is a rescued pitbull named Dixie Chick, a sweetie who loves everybody. She had been watching me closely all day-- it was as if she knew something was wrong. All she had to do was look at me with those big brown soulful eyes. That was it. I cancelled my plans and cuddled with her instead.

Peace&Love,
jasper
 
Can't remember the last time I came so close to this...maybe it shouldn't fit within the suicide support thread but I've essentially mangled various parts of my body over the last two weeks and with every passing day I fear I'm going to go through with something more serious.
My job is going amazing for the first time ever, I have amazing friends for the first time ever, but things aren't good with my husband and I'm miserable in the country I'm in and I feel so, so trapped. I'm so scared.
 
Any way you two could go for counseling together? That's tough to have found your dream job but have it be in a country you don't like. Is there any possibility of staying for a decent amount of time and then using the experience from this job to move on to another similar job?
 
herbavore said:
Any way you two could go for counseling together? That's tough to have found your dream job but have it be in a country you don't like. Is there any possibility of staying for a decent amount of time and then using the experience from this job to move on to another similar job?
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I'm starting to wonder about that herby...I've only just recently started counselling on my own but I wonder how much we would benefit from going as a couple. The company I work for actually have offices in Australia (where I'd ideally like to move) so I've sort of got my sights set on there in the future but it definitely wouldn't be anything soon and unfortunately I don't feel like I'm managing here.
We're in the UK, where since the Brexit vote, as a French citizen I've felt increasingly marginalised and am really struggling to see any sort of bright future ahead. Some days I just feel it would be easier to end things altogether :(
 
Well my husband's just walked out so...I dunno, what's the point? I want to give up so badly. I feel so completely and utterly alone
 
Aw, sweetheart, I'm so sorry. I remember how happy you were to get that job--maybe life wants you to concentrate on work right now. You are talented and smart and you have a lot to offer. Marriages are hard work in even the best of times. Don't beat yourself up or get isolated. Concentrate on work and on friendships. Friends have carried me through some rough times in marriage.
 
Took about 5 grams of clozapine a week ago. Lucky that i went to my neighbors to call 911. They rushed me to the hospital. I almost died. Im lucky the paramedics kept me responsive. I could hear thr whispers and uncertanty that if i was going to make it. It was fucking terrifying. Made it through with no injury
 
I am glad that you made it through. What made you take that amount? It's important to try to examine the thought process that got you to that point. Taking yourself to the neighbors to have 911 called is a pretty clear message to yourself that you do value your existence as painful as it may be right now. You take care of yourself and try to gently explore what led you there and what you can do to keep rekindling your gratitude that you are both alive and undamaged.<3
 
Jesilyn said:
I have mild PTSD.. I was molested by my father for around 4 to maybe 8 almost 9 years old... Never told anyone until i attempted suicide for them 2nd time an got put into a mental facility at about 12 or 13. went to a counselor or years..... medicine daily! Got pregnant with my first baby boy at 15 years old! i stooped drinking and smoking pot and really stepped up for a child... stayed in high school and he was always with me other than for my classes. I woke up to give next to me in bed and rubbed his sweet face and he felt cold so i pushed his blank over his. Made his bottle water like every morning...went pee and went to wake him to eat an get bathed for the dayand do our everyday routine. his body way so.ive cold... With spots of blue and called 911 and began CPR. Heard him try... gurging while I breathed it to his mouth than the fire department got there an said they weren't waiting for the ambulance an to him to the hospital so i walked there... they were still working on him when i arrived they put us in a room to wait. The Dr comes in and says we tried everything and im so sorry... we couldn't bring him back.... He would be 14 years old now and still dream about that day.... and my childhood! It affects me and everyone im friends or family with my depression and axitety... im.tired hurting everyone close to me and i could make it look like an accident so my husband and 5 babies could set for a while be caught up and have alittle put back for emergency stufc... They would all be more comfortable and happy... i think i need help.... anybody know how u can find help with my current feelings? Tia
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help help help Can someone help her more than i am. i cant even pm becuse i am new, she started a thread on another chain. you can read in the chain that she has no insurance and would rather end it.
 
Well I think I permenatly messed up my life. I used to be so jovial. No I just wondering where it all went wrong. Drug Abuse has defiently ruined my life. Probably a predispostion to mental illness caused me to live this nightmare. I dont want to die but I just want away out. Help.
 
I posted a thread about my suicidal ideation. It is below on the forum. If anyone is able to read and calm me down I’d appreciate it. Thank you.
 
Truth be told I've suffered for years, but in the last few years things have gone downhill for me. And that is despite the fact that I moved out of an old worn down 24' by 10' demountable home into a spacious apartment, along with some creature comforts.

Even still I feel empty. The life that I once knew has been sucked out of me. I know I need to get back into cardio and weights. But nowadays when I get home I just hit the vape and saturate my body with nicotine just to punctuate the dreariness.

Does it work? Well, no, it doesn't. I enjoy the buzz but then for the rest of the day I feel generally flat and unmotivated.

My illness was caused by many factors on top of a failed biochemistry situation. All of these things compound each other to create the blackest depression of all - not one where you feel sadness or misery, not one where you lose touch with reality, not even one where you stay in bed and sleep a lot...but one where you feel nothing at all.

Anti-depressants have thus far failed to bring me back to life. As it stands now I'm nothing more than a living corpse. I do have the ability to function at the bare minimum that society expects me to but my faith in humanity is gone for good.
 
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