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Ideas for an improvised binky?

jrws said:
I have a question about that. I was reading a post About Australian mEtHaMpHeTaMiNe and is it really thousands of Aussie dollars a gram?
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Not thousands but always more than 2 hundred Aussie dollars but usually less than 5 hundred. It’s also quite difficult to buy in bulk although you get a 50 % price drop at the ounce level. It’s actually halved in price in the last 5 years. When I first got onto it back then it was incredibly expensive.
 
Atelier3 said:
Not thousands but always more than 2 hundred Aussie dollars but usually less than 5 hundred. It’s also quite difficult to buy in bulk although you get a 50 % price drop at the ounce level.
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Holy mother of meth. A testament to how powerful its pull is. I was clean of it for 15 years and when it started to show up here it was astonishing how expensive it was. 125! I only picked up because I knew I wouldn’t let myself pay those prices for more than a few grams. Of course than meth did her evil magic and a plug fell into my lap. A jizzle for an Oz.
 
Yeah. The cost is a major disincentive. First time around I didn’t notice so much but after 4 years of dex and a solid year bender on meth my tolerance is monstrous and a gram barely touches the sides. I mean, I did actual quit on NYE and only picked up again a couple of days ago but have already just about blown my mortgage payment for this month. I need to put down again pretty quick.
 
Atelier3 said:
Yeah. The cost is a major disincentive. First time around I didn’t notice so much but after 4 years of dex and a solid year bender on meth my tolerance is monstrous and a gram barely touches the sides. I mean, I did actual quit on NYE and only picked up again a couple of days ago but have already just about blown my mortgage payment for this month. I need to put down again pretty quick.
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Yeah, be smart, go back to low dose dex until your tolerance is good. Our dopamine systems need ample recovery time if we’re pounding down gram after gram, as do our bank accounts.
 
jrws said:
Yeah, be smart, go back to low dose dex until your tolerance is good. Our dopamine systems need ample recovery time if we’re pounding down gram after gram, as do our bank accounts.
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Our tolerance and usage and abuse is very similar for meth, and I wonder for dex to.
I’m trying to take at least a 3 month methamp break, and aim for just two small dexamp binges a month until then.

In two years I would like to be down to two binges a year.
 
jrws said:
Our tolerance and usage and abuse is very similar for meth, and I wonder for dex to.
I’m trying to take at least a 3 month methamp break, and aim for just two small dexamp binges a month until then.

In two years I would like to be down to two binges a year.
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I’ve never quite figured out if/how extreme meth abuse ultimately fucks up the ability of dex to alleviate ADHD. I’m thinking cross-tolerance works on the getting high part but not really on ADHD. Once I’m a week or two clean from meth I think 30 mg dex a day is keeping my thoughts ordered and focussed. But sometimes I wonder.
 
Atelier3 said:
I’ve never quite figured out if/how extreme meth abuse ultimately fucks up the ability of dex to alleviate ADHD. I’m thinking cross-tolerance works on the getting high part but not really on ADHD. Once I’m a week or two clean from meth I think 30 mg dex a day is keeping my thoughts ordered and focussed. But sometimes I wonder.
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I knew it, that’s right about where I am mate. I find methamp and dexamp to be cross tolerant, though you still have to worry about dopamine depletion from and for both.

After an amp binge, I’ve found if I take 36-48 hour break from all stims especially caffeine, eat for two people, supplement and rest and meditate and start light exercise, I am ready to start a daily regimen of amps of 15mg at sunrise and 15mg when it feels like nap time (~2pm). This can go on until my next binge and I feel great and ADHD issues are attenuated by the dexamp from day one.

Here, methamp binges have all sorts of complications, I am learning. I didn’t plan to eat an extra gram of meth (only because it’s illegal) and I didn’t know my antipsychotic meds were going to give me this prolonged bruxism with meth. My doctor would have told me if that was a feature of dex. And with dex if I had taken an extra dose equivalent to 1g of meth, I would have a really great time, a harder crash, but it wouldn’t be neurotoxic (?) and it wouldn’t blowout the break time like what is happening now. I am glad I don’t have a boss right now or I’d be pretty stressed out!

As it is my sponsor is very disappointed that I decided to use meth. That is enough to stress me out emotionally!
 
As far as the improvised binky goes, the pain in my tongue is much relieved. My jaw feels like it ain’t gonna quit even though it did two leg days in a row and it is now being quite the drama Queen about it all, but I can handle that bitch.

Even better, there is a solid explanation for why this bout of bruxism is more pronounced and far more persistent even though other features of the binge seemed to be routine. Antipsychotics and meth don’t mix! Methamphetamine, baby. She makes you think you slick. She makes you think you her daddy. 🤣

I’m going to go meditate. I have a speculation brewing. If I share this with my doctor and admit a few more things, basically that I have various reservations to use methamphetamine again, attempting to find a therapeutic dose, that he might write me actually write a script for it.

Thank you everyone.
 
Atelier3 said:
I mean, I did actual quit on NYE and only picked up again a couple of days ago but have already just about blown my mortgage payment for this month. I need to put down again pretty quick.
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yes you do need to stop again! i remember when i started to have to compare my drug expenditure to multiples of my mortgage and its not a good plce to be in. it can escalate from there pretty fast too so nip it in the bud now. you know better than this.

i don't have ADHD though my therapist suspects it- and given my dad has it if there's any genetic component i'm probably at increased risk- but i do know that when you're in the acute stage of drug cessation, your mind is racing anyway, this isn't pathological and its easier if you accept your inability to sit still or concentrate, even if people tell you off for it. my therpaists in rehab were constantly trying to make me sit still and concentrate on one thing at a time cos they thought i was avoiding work on myself that way. if its what you need to do to not go insane in the early stages of recovery then i really think its the lesser of two evils.
 
chinup said:
yes you do need to stop again! i remember when i started to have to compare my drug expenditure to multiples of my mortgage and its not a good plce to be in. it can escalate from there pretty fast too so nip it in the bud now. you know better than this.

i don't have ADHD though my therapist suspects it- and given my dad has it if there's any genetic component i'm probably at increased risk- but i do know that when you're in the acute stage of drug cessation, your mind is racing anyway, this isn't pathological and its easier if you accept your inability to sit still or concentrate, even if people tell you off for it. my therpaists in rehab were constantly trying to make me sit still and concentrate on one thing at a time cos they thought i was avoiding work on myself that way. if its what you need to do to not go insane in the early stages of recovery then i really think its the lesser of two evils.
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I'm going to short circuit this binge by going to a meeting in exactly .3 grams of meth time. Which should be tomorrow. I may wait one day just so I don't turn up totally bug-eyed crazy. I don't do NA long term but a few meetings are a proven way to jump back on the wagon.
 
Atelier3 said:
I'm going to short circuit this binge by going to a meeting in exactly .3 grams of meth time. Which should be tomorrow. I may wait one day just so I don't turn up totally bug-eyed crazy. I don't do NA long term but a few meetings are a proven way to jump back on the wagon.
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👏
👏
👏

You have in-person meetings there? We have them in Florida, but in New England it’s all Zoom, which kinda stinks.

I am stoked you have a plan. Stick to it bro.
✊🏻
 
jrws said:
👏
👏
👏

You have in-person meetings there? We have them in Florida, but in New England it’s all Zoom, which kinda stinks.

I am stoked you have a plan. Stick to it bro.
✊🏻
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Yes. In my state there are exactly ZERO active covid cases - so it's pretty much life as normal. Only sign of concern is that we still must wear masks on public transport and restaurants and bars have slightly less seating capacity.
 
I got some real sleep last night, almost five hours! I woke up with the bruxism reduced by half if not more. I was ashamed of myself when I went to sleep, with a dogtoy stuck on my face, and that shame lingers today.

My adult binky just got here and man, is it comfortable. It’s black, so now I gotta find Depends that match it. I’ve come a long long way.

DON’T SMOKE METH!

I loaded a bowl and smoked half of it anyways.
I don’t feel amped at all just kinda greasy.
I called my sponsor and my doctor and I will see the latter in a couple days.
I’m gonna finish it and then put it all away for awhile.
Thanks everyone you’re all a real treat!
 
Atelier3 said:
apparently my teeth are yellowish because I’ve worn through the enamel. That’s the natural colour of teeth. They’re not white all the way through.
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If one wears through the teeth’s enamel and the teeth appear yellow, can any of those teeth whiteners/brighteners help?
 
Atelier3 said:
According to my dentist: NO!
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I question all of this.
1) My baby teeth were between white and yellow. They look yellow in some of the photos I have of me with baby teeth. My grown up teeth came in pretty darn yellow. My dentist told my mother it was a sign of dense enamel and he tried to joke with me about needding a bigger drill and my mother admonished him for trying to scare me (Wasn’t scared BTW no idea what he meant.)
2) I’ve had whitening done once and they were visibly whiter, but still more yellow than white.

Dunno what’s going on here. Will say I have never needed anything but a cleaning every five years or so.
 
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