Xorkoth
Bluelight Crew
Yeah I noticed that about here vs Erowid.
I'm doing great, I haven't had a dream about getting high on opiates in probably 2 months, I did have a few for a month afterwards, but I woke up feeling even stronger about not using them because the shame I felt in the dreams was so intense. I never think about using opiates, every so often I will talk about them with people and I remember those times, even fondly remember my early times, but it doesn't trigger me to want to use them. Totally uninterested in that lifestyle, it just seems stupid. No interest in trying to use them "just once" or responsibly either, as I know I can't, and even if I could now, it's not worth it to me to find out. Plus I really enjoy the mental clarity and energy I have, and I feel better at any given moment than I ever did once I got addicted to opiates, even when I was on opiates.
I've been tripping quite a bit this summer but it's because I feel like I have been reborn and I've been doing a lot of awesome things like exploring rivers and waterfalls, going to shows, hanging out with my friends, meeting women and people in general, etc (I trip for the nature exploration and shows, not for meeting women
). I have been drinking a lot more than usual but it affects me well again now that I'm not on opiates, and I just do it with my friends (who are generally pretty big drinkers compared to me). I've been over at friends' houses probably 4 out of 7 days every week so it comes up a lot. I actually detected a bit of weirdness after I got drunk 4 nights in a row, after drinking each weekend for a while so I'm taking a break from that for now and I feel fine and don't want to do it. I did experience 2 days of feeling weird and anxious though before I felt fine again, but there were also other factors so it's hard to say what it was. Probably a combination of too much alcohol, lack of sleep, and fretting about whether this girl I really like is into me. But I can see the potential for a problem so I'm cutting way back on the drinking, but I do like to do it socially so I'll continue to do that periodically, just not every time I socialize. I've actually been smoking a lot less weed. No other drugs besides psychedelics, alcohol and weed, and some tobacco.
I have gained a LOT of weight (which is good for me as I was emaciated post-opiates/post-ibogaine). I weighed 130 then and I'm 6 feet tall, slightly above but less than 6'1". I'm up to ~162 now, muscle at this point. I've been working out ever since ibogaine, 5 days a week. I got up to 145 from eating and putting body fat back on pretty quickly and the rest has been muscle gain. I'm also eating really well, cooking almost all my food using lots of good fruits and vegetables and quality meats (and eggs). My mental state is better than it's been, ever. As a kid I was very happy but also very unsure of myself and scared a lot. Now I know who I am, I'm confident, and I'm almost always actively happy. Like I said, I feel reborn, like I crawled out of this dark hole and regained myself.
Ibogaine
I'm doing great, I haven't had a dream about getting high on opiates in probably 2 months, I did have a few for a month afterwards, but I woke up feeling even stronger about not using them because the shame I felt in the dreams was so intense. I never think about using opiates, every so often I will talk about them with people and I remember those times, even fondly remember my early times, but it doesn't trigger me to want to use them. Totally uninterested in that lifestyle, it just seems stupid. No interest in trying to use them "just once" or responsibly either, as I know I can't, and even if I could now, it's not worth it to me to find out. Plus I really enjoy the mental clarity and energy I have, and I feel better at any given moment than I ever did once I got addicted to opiates, even when I was on opiates.
I've been tripping quite a bit this summer but it's because I feel like I have been reborn and I've been doing a lot of awesome things like exploring rivers and waterfalls, going to shows, hanging out with my friends, meeting women and people in general, etc (I trip for the nature exploration and shows, not for meeting women

I have gained a LOT of weight (which is good for me as I was emaciated post-opiates/post-ibogaine). I weighed 130 then and I'm 6 feet tall, slightly above but less than 6'1". I'm up to ~162 now, muscle at this point. I've been working out ever since ibogaine, 5 days a week. I got up to 145 from eating and putting body fat back on pretty quickly and the rest has been muscle gain. I'm also eating really well, cooking almost all my food using lots of good fruits and vegetables and quality meats (and eggs). My mental state is better than it's been, ever. As a kid I was very happy but also very unsure of myself and scared a lot. Now I know who I am, I'm confident, and I'm almost always actively happy. Like I said, I feel reborn, like I crawled out of this dark hole and regained myself.
Ibogaine
