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  • Trip Reports Moderator: Cheshire_Kat

IBOGAINE (730 mg) - First Time - Welcome Back to My Life

^^^^ Sorry boys, the penicillin thread is over in Sex, Love, and Relationships.

And I want to say a big THANK YOU for all the comments and good vibes y'all have sent my way. Two weeks clean and I feel really good.

I had a couple of negative things happen and yet I still didn't want to take refuge with my favorite drug.

My soon-to-be-ex-wife won't let me see my son because "I need to get into detox therapy." In other words, she was much happier with me as an addict because she could point at me and say "He's the bad guy" (special thanks to T. Montana). :D

Poor girl, she's addicted to anger and resentment. I'm not saying she didn't have reason to be angry and resentful. But being angry at someone for cleaning up their way points to underlying issues. I guess the only way she'll accept my sobriety is if I do it her way--which ain't gonna happen. Then again, maybe she'll never accept my sobriety. It will probably empower me too much and she'll lose control of a lot of things.

And besides, all this money that's starting to grow on the trees in my backyard will pay for a nice lawyer. Hope I don't get hooked on legal action. ;)

Again, humble thanks to everybody.
 
such an amazing report! Now I'll think of you every time I see the flashing yellow add ^^^^

Keep up the good work!
 
Thank you for your report, beautiful and fascinating.

I hope that thinks work out for you. Sending positive energies your way <3.

I myself quit drinking (after being a serious, degenerate alcoholic) after an LSD trip. Psychedelics do have that power. Ibogaine I have not tried, but am considering, your post is pushing me further towards attempting it perhaps (I still have drug issues.) It's pharmacology has even more to offer than LSD in this regard.

To all you naysayers, myself and quite a few other posters on this board are living proof that the psychedelic experience does have something to offer to the drug-addicted, and can better lives.

Tobala, PM me sometime, it would be nice to chat.
 
Ibogaine (50 mg) - First Time+ - An Experiment

Even though I'm not really experiencing strong cravings for coke, today I insufflated 50 mg of ibogaine. The point of this experiment was to see if a small dose would fill brain receptors and provide a mild mood lift.

Due to its relatively low solubility in water (I forgot to mention this in the original TR, but if you dump a pile of ibogaine in a polar liquid like water, it clumps up and floats around on the surface), it hurt like a son of a bitch.

I started tearing and sneezing and went through all the rituals of people who put stuff that doesn't belong up their honker. It took about 20 minutes for the pain to subside.

Also at the 20-minute mark, I felt a lightheadedness similar to the effects of the test dose as delineated in the main TR. This lasted about an hour and eventually wore off, after which I remained working for the next seven hours. I felt fairly energetic and in a good mood--but hey, that could have had as much to do with the puppy-nap I took in the afternoon as it did with this little shot of ibo.

Well whoopdee-doo! How's that for adding nothing much to the compendium of ibogaine fun-facts? 8)
 
Just an update:

April 25 will be 3 months clean. I don't even think about cocaine that much anymore, the cravings are extremely sporadic, last a few seconds, and then are gone.

I attribute this to the fact that I don't want cocaine anymore, and not really the effects of ibogaine. The ibogaine WAS critical in the first few weeks, when hypersomnia and cravings would have been unbearable.

Now that this phase has passed it's really just comes down to the fact that I don't want coke in my life anymore. It's that simple.

I AM planning another encounter with Iboga at a dosage (1,270 mg) significantly higher than the first one (sometime in July or August). I'm looking for insights from long-term unconscious memories, some reflections on the fact that I'm adopted and an only child, and whatever else about my compulsive behaviors that may be shown to me.

Expect an in-depth report on this one, too.
 
hey tobala, that is AWESOME, man!!! I am so happy for you.

What is your motivation for taking the Ibogaine again? Why not high dose LSD or psilocybin if you are looking for personal insights?

Just curious...
 
I was just wondering about you yesterday, and hoping you were doing well. Congrats! :) I look forward to your next ibogaine report, if you end up taking that journey. I love reading strong ibogaine experience reports.
 
Xorkoth: the odds of me taking that next journey are 100%.

S_S: While the visions of ibogaine are as intense as LSD, they are different. I believe ibogaine taps into the genetic memory stored in our DNA while LSD or psilocin do not. It also felt organic and it felt good! The following 24 hours after the initial 4-hour cosmic voyage was quite pleasant and therapeutic. Though I expect the dosage increase will also increase these time frames.

Shameless ego-tripping is also a factor. I also want to become our resident ibogaine guru. :D
 
hehe, well it will be awesome to have another ibogaine report from you. You are an excellent writer to say the least.

I found that mushrooms really tap into the genetic memory. I feel primal, archaic, the ancient body incarnate.

peace and love friend,
samadhi
 
^^^^ Thing is.....I'm chicken-shit of mushrooms.

In the end, I am a true drug wussy, I guess... :)
 
I'm 43 years old and felt as though I was reading something I'd written myself while reading thru your thread. I too was/is so obsessed with cocaine that I ended up writing the "cocaine purification, the absolute final thread" in OD. Hell, the thread just got archived, but it has well over 75,000 views from people who I know I've also helped to ruin their lives as well. Therefore, I'm looking very seriously into Ibogaine for myself, being a 20 + year user of cocaine, allthewhile hating the drug with a passion. I was just married for the first time 3 years ago and now have my first child, a precious little baby girl, arriving in just 6 short weeks. I've been strong to stay away from cocaine for as long as I can, but the thought of it passes thru my brain at least 5 times a day anyway. And if you've been using as long as I have, then your also well aware that todays cocaine is a mere shell of what it used to be. Basically, an unenjoyable, racy, ampy, edgy, paranoid, non-talkative drug today vs. the basically identical in every way to the plateau stage of pure MDMA it used to be (circa 1980's). Why I keep going back, only to feel like shit, and continuing to hurt those that love me is simply beyond me. That's why I'm seriously looking into Ibogaine. I found your thread using the search engine.

But after having done alot of recent research into Ibogaine for myself and then reading your thread, I quickly realized that the dosage you took was definitely way to low. You said you took around 750 mg.s when in actuality, the recommended dosage by what, after doing alot of research into finding a genuine Ibogaine facility, turned out to be nearly double that at over 1200 mg.s. The facilty that keeps coming up as apparentely the best of the best, is called the Iboga Therapy House, located in Vancouver, BC. I took the "testimonials" page, cut and pasted it and posted it down below. I hope it comes thru. I also strongly suggest that you and anyone else possibly interested in Ibogaine, check out their website. In the meantime, please read some of the testimonials by past patients which also state the dosage some of them received.

Here's the link:

http://www.ibogatherapyhouse.net/cms/content/view/27/46/

I'll keep you posted as to whether or not I go thru with the therapy myself. At this time, I feel it's my only real hope of ever walking away......

Le Junk
 
^^^^ Agreed. As mentioned in the TR, 1 gram was ordered but only 3/4 was sent. But the experience was still powerful, allowed me to avoid hypersomnia, and--while I believe that my will to stay clean has more to do with sobriety at the three-month mark than the ibogaine--the drug allowed me to cold-turkey from a quarter-century drug habit by still resetting brain receptors.

Another reason I decided to proceed was that another TR described a successful result on only 800 mg. So I wouldn't get too hung up on the numbers. Reportedly, Howard Lotsof's initial trip was only a half-gram of ibogaine, with positive results.

I still love cocaine. I just don't do it because I know what will happen and there are other things (my son) I love more now. My next gram of ibogaine arrived weighing 1270 mg, so this summer I'm hoping to access the genetic memories I missed on the first trip.

And stop blaming yourself for "ruining other peoples' lives." They're responsible for their own decisions.

In any event, good luck with whatever decisions you make, good vibes heading your way, man... :)
 
tobala said:
^^^^ Agreed. As mentioned in the TR, 1 gram was ordered but only 3/4 was sent. But the experience was still powerful, allowed me to avoid hypersomnia, and--while I believe that my will to stay clean has more to do with sobriety at the three-month mark than the ibogaine--the drug allowed me to cold-turkey from a quarter-century drug habit by still resetting brain receptors.

Another reason I decided to proceed was that another TR described a successful result on only 800 mg. So I wouldn't get too hung up on the numbers. Reportedly, Howard Lotsof's initial trip was only a half-gram of ibogaine, with positive results.

I still love cocaine. I just don't do it because I know what will happen and there are other things (my son) I love more now. My next gram of ibogaine arrived weighing 1270 mg, so this summer I'm hoping to access the genetic memories I missed on the first trip.

And stop blaming yourself for "ruining other peoples' lives." They're responsible for their own decisions.

In any event, good luck with whatever decisions you make, good vibes heading your way, man... :)
Click to expand...


Yeah, I probably should have read thru the entire thread before posting, but I couldn't hold back the excitement of actually finding someone who's lived my life, pretty much piece for piece. And to top it all off, you've also tried Ibogaine of which I'm about to jump on board as well. I truly think it's the answer I've been looking for, as all other conventional therapies have failed miserably. From what I've read about Ibogaine so far, it's supposedly a very spiritual, enlightening, mind opening/expanding, change of perspective. You apparentely discover somewhere along the trip the reasons for the why's, how come's, etc. Your brain is then reset, almost like a computer when it's establishing a restore point, to take you back to a time when you didn't need drugs to cope with lifes realities. Your cravings to escape via drugs is no longer present and you move towards your inner self to rectify and/or address situations in a more realistic manner, without the use of drugs. Hell, if I can get half of that out of my treatment, then I would consider it a success. My wife has suffered far to long, but has never left my side. She believes in me and my will to want to live a different life. I's a good thing, because not only is she the best woman in the world, but she's absolutely correct in her belief in me. I really do want to quit and no longer crave that crap. Only time will tell. But regardless, I'll be sure and post my Ibogaine therapy results after my sesion. Hopefully very, very soon!

Le Junk ;)
 
^^^^ Well, you're lucky to have a support system and a wife who believes in redemption. I have the first to a degree and the second...well I can't blame her.

The point is, if coke has turned your life into wreckage, the ibogaine doesn't fix that...my problems sometimes seem insurmountable and my wife may have alienated my son from me to the point where the damage is irreparable.

Only time will tell, but I have considered suicide in the last several weeks. I guess in the last few years the coke allowed me to live with the wreckage, and now without it all I see is wreckage.

So this is the "other side" of the ibogaine miracle which I expected to come, of course, but so long as I can keep plodding along, I hope things will get better.
 
tobala please stay strong!

I can give you my personal contact info (email, phone whatevs you want) if you feel like it would help to have another person in 'your circle'.

Seriously man! stay strong and work through these issues. There is clarity and peace to be had if you can make the final push through all this stuff.

Its a long road the journey is in the taking of each individual step.

Peace and love and respect,
samadhi
 
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