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I was abused by a priest. Please help.

fk religion man it is a spiritual crutch . religion is a business like any other.... if your corp. had a history of area managers abusing people, would you let it be public knowledge and take the backlash (stock price dropping, expensive lawsuits) or hide it? these people are crooks and should hung in public
 
Man, that sucks. My advice would be to tell whoever you have to and make them feel the guilt that was and is your pain. Get a lawyer. Congrats for opening u about this
 
You don't need to get a lawyer, you just need to go to the police. If you ring the station and ask to speak to someone about a case of sexual abuse they will send someone round. You will be entitled to legal aid but seeing as you are the prosecutor not defendant you don't need to be too paranoi about speaking to them without legal representative. They will have records on their previous involvement in this case which will add weight to your allegations.

Actually you wouldn't be the prosecutor, it would be the police aka the state aka Regina.

yeah but, you aint gonna get too much wit out a lawyer....im thinking some money...what other pay back can you get then making a bitch poor? iknow peoples who been sued and lost over a mil (they actually shoulda won tho) and the families lives have never been the same. they used to be the people in town wit the mansion, now they live on the street behind me.

thats just me...

and whats a legal aid?

i feel like that's just someone to talk to...
 
Legal Aid is a state provided lawyer. After a criminal conviction is secured the victim will receive compensation awarded by the court, and can then persue a civil case if required.
 
Thankyou so much to everyone who's responded.

I will be seeing a Psychiatrist and Counsellor (at the church's cost, of course) very shortly.

Qft Mariposa, when you wrote:

"Know that however awful our past, it need not determine our future if we are willing to make the effort to thrive."

5 or 6 years after discovering Bluelight, I'm still proud to call myself a member of this excellent community......

Hang in there people, things can only get better..... (as the song goes.....)
 
^^ That's great man, I wish you all the very best with it. Let us know how you're going okay? <3
 
Legal Aid is a state provided lawyer. After a criminal conviction is secured the victim will receive compensation awarded by the court, and can then persue a civil case if required.

oo ok, so you still get a lawyer, thats all i was saying

is you def dont wanna go into it alone

but having your own laywer you trust, (if your rich) is way better than a given one from the gov't....gov't lawyers dont work nearly as hard cuz they are on salary
 
^^ Your opinion is very welcome here but please read the whole thread before commenting, thank you.
 
i.e. how dare I bring this shame on the family and ruin the kindly old Fr Charles' life. Unbelievable but true.

The church is rotting and it isn't your fault, people are suffering upon you because they are fucking nuts and they love sickening company that nobody will talk about.

I am sorry about your parents, honestly.

dont sue the church sue the asshole responsible, if it was a teacher would you school the entire school system?

As somebody who went to two different Catholic schools growing up and had dinner with my pastor.... I am glad he was busted for massive amounts of child pornography before (assuming) he (hasn't alread) moved to the real kiddies.

At school it was taboo to discuss what had happened.... scum can't hide in giant cathedrals from real eternal light or karma! (This is one that will take a long and hard time to end, thank you for the guidance monotheism.)

Should I sue the church? Would I stand a realistic chance of being awarded damages? The vicar/ now Bishop fucked up but if I take legal action against the Church I'm not sure if I want to risk ruining his career......... I feel like I want revenge but am not sure of how much revenge and I'm also worried about my father's reaction (he's now a successful Vicar himself).

This whole thing is one of the most fucked up I have heard, this is bigger than the ego of some bishop. News, courts.... courts bigger than their churches! =D
 
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I had to edit my post cause it would have likely offended someone.

It sucks that I can't be brutally honest with people when I've been through the same exact situations they have, but I know someone is eligible to call me rude or insensitive.
Anyway, the point was, do NOT sue the church. You are going to wind up killing yourself in a matter of years if you don't learn what ACCEPTANCE means. By you doing what you are right now, you are enabling that priest to rape you now over and over w/out him even being in this planet anymore.

Also, if you DO win, you are still likely to fall into a depression and become suicidal. How many rape victims I've seen sue institutions and shortly after they "win" they lose their minds and fall into and intense depression. Thats because they realize the day they get that money that they weren't actually fighting for justice and KNEW IT, they were fighting to fix the horrors that were ALREADY done.

I learned rather quickly, call it "survival instinct" that the only way to get over something like this is by accepting it. I learned how to push it out of my mind at a young age and went on trying to help others who were in the same situation. Thats the ONLY thing that even remotely helped me. I also have STRONG reason to believe you do NOT have PTSD. PTSD follows a specific dynamic that you have already broken countless times, and I'm not sure what genius therapist diagnosed you with it.

You NEED to move on and drop it. Learn how to be acceptant. Its been 15 years and you're still choosing voluntarily to relive this experience everyday... don't you think its about time you move on with life? Do you think suing the church is REALLY gonna make you feel even the slightest bit better? Imo its just gonna make your mental health deteriorate quicker.

g/luck with w/e you do.
 
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^ Getting money out of a suit that involved trauma increases tendency towards suicide exponentially?

I think attention to reform of a pretty fucking widespread and creepy practice of churches worldwide on this topic would be nice and steps in the right direction instead of "getting over it" (his parents agree with a long term blackmailer and rapist from when he was a teen.. sounds like the church didn't see it as a big deal)

This is going to sound rude, but if somebody who was not a pastor raped someone very close to you is it time for you to tell them to hush up?

I know the dogma of the Catholic church (others too??) for its own cartel involves making an unusually large portion of them sexually frustrated and warped freaks that are ready to rot if any of their divine claims of bliss for them are correct.


Seriously.... what the fuck? A recurring tendency to sweep this shit under the rug would never happen on this repeating issue for anybody else... cops, doctors, you name it.
 
If the situation was the same as this one where the perpetrator was dead absolutely I'd tell them to 'hush up' (although I'd advocate 100% they go straight to therapy - which isn't exactly telling them to 'hush'). If they weren't dead, I'd STILL have to think about it in a way that may seem counterintuitive to you.

I think people are forgetting that aspects of the church such as this are in no way new or novel and this crap has been going on for at least a thousand years or so.
The same exact way society tries to take on battles against prostitution and fail to ever realize why it never works, because theres NO WAY to stop it.

You can hide it better, or push it into other locations/environments so its out of the front page of your community newspaper everyday, but if you think for a second that I believe fighting this is going to actually change a single aspect of anything - you are definitely mistaken.

I also want you to pay attention to the gap of time that has passed and the proper way this situation should have been handled earlier which is was not. That only reinforces the hopelessness of any self induced effort to rectify the situation - its simply not happening.

How many innocent children do you believe meghans law actually protects? What do you want from this situation another meghans law?
They are ALL worthless. You don't have to raise "attention" when the public is ALREADY well aware this is happening, like I said it didn't just start happening yesterday.

My whole core arguement was that I've been sexually assualted, and can tell you with a high degree of confidence NOTHING GOOD will come out of this situation. Look at history, look at facts, look at times in the past we've implemented change and NOTHING has changed.
And the catholic church doesn't make people sexually frustrated, people make themselves that way. Thats as rational as saying guns kill people vs people kill people.

I merely stated my opinion, the victim in this case will only further be victimized the more and more they attempt to get justice in a situation where justice simply doesn't exist. What do you suggest we do? Put ankle braclets on all male priests so they alert us the second they step within 10 ft of a child? Parents are well aware this shit happens and STILL continue to put their children in situations where it WILL happen again. Thats religion for you. Theres nothing you or I will ever do about it untill the day religion ends... which is definitely not happening in this lifetime.
 
I really hope that soon the enormous veil of secrecy and cover-up which currently hangs over the whole subject of sexual abuse within churches across the world by religious ministers and priests - whether Catholic, protestant or other denomination - will be lifted and that in the future ALL cases are criminally prosecuted.

I'm convinced that if serious numbers of perpertors of sexual abuse in churches - AS WELL AS their bosses who collude in any way to cover-up their crimes - start being agressively prosecuted and going to jail in large numbers in the future, that this will act as a most effective deterrent to any other would-be abusers working within churches across the globe.

But I remain pessimistic......

You say yourself that you wish all future cases are criminally prosecuted.

Here lies your answer.

No one wants to be known as the person who was abused. No one wants to ruin other peoples lives. However you need to accept that it happened, and make sure it never happens to anyone else again.

My advice is to follow your own wishes about future cases and immediately go to the police and file a report. They will advise you about lawyers and everything else far better than the advice we will give you.

It is possible you can't get over what happened because you know he is still active in the church and possibly still doing the exact same thing to someone else. Leopards don't change their spots.

Please go to the police so this animal never touches anyone again.

I'm so sorry to hear your story. You are very brave for telling us. <3
 
Parents are well aware this shit happens and STILL continue to put their children in situations where it WILL happen again. Thats religion for you. Theres nothing you or I will ever do about it untill the day religion ends.


Nothing is sacred... parents, priests, anybody involved with this is a sick mother fucker in my book. Should LE not try to stop gang murders or rapists because it is hard and brings attention to an issue in a harsh way for everybody? What does law enforcement stand for again? (Things like prostitution or drug dealing involve consent by definition, as of now they will go up just about anybodys ass for the latter lol.)
 
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