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I want a child...what about you?

LiveIllegal said:
Very well. Rather than accuse you of anything I will just have to respectfully disagree.
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Too late for that. The disdain you seem to bear for people who do not want children is plain as day. I've never looked down on someone for wanting children, but my opinion on them seems to cause me nothing but grief. I don't understand why you seem to resent it so much. :\
 
negrogesic said:
I've always been especially wary of women who don't want children (they remind of the similarly cold individuals who don't like animals).
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WTF? Just because you don't want children doesn't mean you're cold. Some people understand that it's about more than emotion. I mean, I think I'm quite warm and I love both animals and children, but that doesn't mean I have to want to bear any of my own.
 
I want to be a mother more than anything in this world. I can't wait to have my own children. I don't think I will have more than one or two. I think that I have always been a maternal person of sorts, I remember as a child I always wanted to "mother" my little sister (to her dismay :))

I do have a small nephew that I have helped to raise so I know what parenting is all about and I think that's why I haven't rushed into having a child of my own. I hope that in the next couple of years I will bare my own, I'm hoping at least.

I know it sounds weird, but for some reason I have this underlying fear that I am not going to be able to have my own (which is extremely important to me, I feel like I need to experience a pregnancy). I have no evidence to back this up, it's just intuition perhaps? My imagination working in overdrive? I have no idea, it's just a horrible feeling that I just can't shake.
 
Sigma: can I ask, why not?

I knew some of you were not going to like my comment...

The few girlfriends I had that did not want children (at some stage), were either particularly "cold" individuals, very superficial/self-centered (didnt want to fuck up their bodies), or a combination of these things. If you don't want to have children for other reasons, such as a history of inheritable disease/mental illness, than I consider such decisions laudable.

What I am sure we can agree on, is that the majority of women want to have children, and for whatever reason, a far smaller number have no such desire.
 
I love children, and in ten or more years, parenting will be a great chapter of life to begin.

I nurture my inner child, and that may be why I get long with little ones so well. I usually give my friends' little brothers and sisters just as much attention as I do them.
 
negrogesic said:
Sigma: can I ask, why not?

I knew some of you were not going to like my comment...

The few girlfriends I had that did not want children (at some stage), were either particularly "cold" individuals, very superficial/self-centered (didnt want to fuck up their bodies), or a combination of these things. If you don't want to have children for other reasons, such as a history of inheritable disease/mental illness, than I consider such decisions laudable.

What I am sure we can agree on, is that the majority of women want to have children, and for whatever reason, a far smaller number have no such desire.
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Because it frustrates the hell out of me that I'm expected to explain why I don't want children, as if it's wrong and wanting them is right, I'm not going to get into this too deeply. But, let's just say I think there are MANY laudable reasons, both personal and societal, not to have children and just as many selfish reasons to have them. And yet, we tend as a society to focus on the inverse, applauding those who choose children and assuming those who don't are just self-centered or cold or some other negative thing. Frankly, I think it's absurd. I don't want or need to be praised for choosing not to have children, though I think in many cases it's a very admirable decision, but I'd like to not be looked at as if something is wrong with me.

And I know you're just asking a question, so I don't mean to come across shitty to you, it's just general frustration.
 
SigmaSis03 said:
WTF? Just because you don't want children doesn't mean you're cold. Some people understand that it's about more than emotion. I mean, I think I'm quite warm and I love both animals and children, but that doesn't mean I have to want to bear any of my own.
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Now on that I agree with you completely. Some people just don't want children. It's nothing to do with the capacity you have to love, or whether you are a cold or warm person. Plenty of people live their whole lives happy and fulfilled without reproducing. Not everyone feels the maternal or paternal urge to have kids.

It's a tremendous responsibility, very expensive, and it's literally a life-altering change that you can never take back. You are all of a sudden completely held liable for the lives of the people you bear...it can be pretty overwhelming sometimes. Not everyone feels the desire to take on all that, in many cases because they are already very happy as they are.
 
I can't wait to be a mommy :) I'm fascinated by pregnant women and think a pot belly makes them looks beautiful! I wish I weren't so young, but I'm definitely waiting for a loooong time before I bring another life on this planet. Also, I don't want to have a baby with a man that I'm not in a completely committed relationship with. I don't ever want to be a single parent, I want a family!
 
^ yeah wtf... I'll jump on it.

There's a huge difference between wanting your own kid created by your own genes, and actually considering children that are up for adoption as 'discarded human waste'.

Not everyone has the depth and love to care for a child that isn't their own, and if you're in that situation, you can take a seat next to the majority of the population.

With most people in this majority, there's nothing wrong with their attitudes and respect for other people. Sure, their desires are more selfishly based, but it's not really a bad thing - it's just the way they feel they need to be for the sake of their own happiness and fulfillment in life.

However also in that majority, there's a minority, and that minority consists of the true arse-fucks of the world like yourself, reckons. You're not just concerned with your own happiness, but you also possess a very cruel attitude towards people who are appearingly less fortunate.

There's absolutely no reason for this.. you're just toxic and bitter, and until you change your attitude, nothing more than a big clump of human waste yourself.
 
he's also a really young kid and I just figured he was trying to make an asshole comment to incite some responses (ie he was trolling).

He lucked out hooking a doppelganger wow what a catch! =D

I sincerely can say adopting will be just as good for me as having my own. I really believe that we are all connected on a very intimate level...white, black, yellow, green, its all good for me :)
 
^ If he had posted that comment alone, I might consider him a troll... however considering the rest of his post is written seriously, he was probably being quite serious about the quoted sentence also.

recons said:
I would like to have a (or multiple) child(s).

Mainly because I realize that some things in life require generations to complete, having a small army of loyal workers from my blood, and having someone to love would be nice.

I don't want to adopt, I want my own kid(s) not someone else's discarded human waste.

However, I am as celibate as a monk, have no relationship experience, run when relationships are possible, and don't want the actually responsibility of wife/child nor do I want to give up the unprecedented freedom I have.

Maybe one day I will settle down, but until I can do it easily, I don't want to even try.
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btw... I don't really give a shit if I demonstrate a reaction to pathetic comments - I'd rather say something and be laughed at by a few tossers, than say nothing at all.
 
Finder said:
Too late for that. The disdain you seem to bear for people who do not want children is plain as day. I've never looked down on someone for wanting children, but my opinion on them seems to cause me nothing but grief. I don't understand why you seem to resent it so much. :\
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Oh, please. Jamshyd has probably expressed his lack of a desire for children more than anybody and I haven't gotten upset with him on it. I think you guys are overreacting and giving Porcelain shit over semantics. Subjective my ass, any reasonable human being would read that and conclude that she really loves her kids, not that she has a codependency problem. I think SigmaSis was off the mark but you're the one who has made a big deal out of this. I was simply saying that you guys are harping on Porcelain for a petty reason and I think you ought to cut that shit out. This is just me discussing my opinion of course:p
 
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Yes, but can we please move past that issue, Liveillegal, Finder and others. I would rather keep the thread about the subject of whether or not you want children and what are you feelings/emotions about that (not an interpretation of one person's comments and a trial-by-fire for that person - it is obvious porcelain is not comfortable with continuing the discussion which I honestly don't blame her because of a couple people who jumped at her for it).

I'm finding these comments extremely interesting and it is giving me LOTS to think about. Thanks to everybody that has contributed so far. I really did not expect the depth of the emotions that would be generated. :) <3
 
I definetly would like children someday. Not for a while though. I'd like to be happily married first, be well set financially, and spend a few years as just husband and wife first, maybe travel a little and such.

I'd like at least 2 kids of my own. I'd be happy with that, but I also wouldnt mind considering adopting after I had my own. This is kind of shallow of me, but I do worry about my body after having kids, I definatly plan to get back into shape between kids. I like my body, I'm proud of it and dont want it to change, but thats not enough to keep me from wanting my own kids.

My girlfriends and I used to talk about having kids all the time when we were younger. We went into great detail, even talking about their looks and such.
 
I see no reason to deviate from the topic of desire for child(s), not discussing anyones respect for human life and ethics.

Doppelganger said:
^ If he had posted that comment alone, I might consider him a troll... however considering the rest of his post is written seriously, he was probably being quite serious about the quoted sentence also.



btw... I don't really give a shit if I demonstrate a reaction to pathetic comments - I'd rather say something and be laughed at by a few tossers, than say nothing at all.
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A lie surrounded by truth, seems honest enough.

If I were a troll you, would have feed me.
 
There are some really good responses here; let's not let this go down to the level of ad-homs, OK?

We saw my partner's niece today. :) She is perfect and adorable. A fussy, gassy baby, but perfect and adorable.

He held her perfectly as well.

I'm still not feeling *any more* clucky. Did someone stop my biological clock? Or do I lack a maternal instinct. If so, should I feel deficient in some way?

I think not.

I may be teaching children in an impoverished area how to read next year. It seems more right to me than considering having my own.
 
SigmaSis03 said:
Because it frustrates the hell out of me that I'm expected to explain why I don't want children, as if it's wrong and wanting them is right
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I agree. As a nuturing woman of 35 with a dog, cat, and a husband going against the norm can be exhausting. I don't let it get to me anymore.
To me, it is like telling a gay person, oh you wait you will change.
 
^ on a similiar note, i know a couple of women who said for years that they didn't want kids. they had to go through all the constant explaining like you mentioned, and when they finally did become pregnant they admitted that they'd been trying for years. :o

just something to bear in mind if anyone feels like bugging people about it. mind your own business!
 
purplefirefly said:
I know it sounds weird, but for some reason I have this underlying fear that I am not going to be able to have my own (which is extremely important to me, I feel like I need to experience a pregnancy). I have no evidence to back this up, it's just intuition perhaps? My imagination working in overdrive? I have no idea, it's just a horrible feeling that I just can't shake
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Have you taken a fertility test? Sorry I hope this isn't too personal I dont mean to invade.
 
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