I’m freaking out. A few hours ago I did something I thought I’d never do and I feel absolutely disgusting and scared and don’t know what to do at all right now.Been in a very depressed place and didn’t care in the moment.
To the point. I was at the casino. I was drunk as hell, probably to the point I shouldn’t have been in public.
I ended up hanging with some guys and drinking a few beers. They asked me if I’ve ever tried h before. I’ve had a cocaine problem for a while now but never been infront of h or even know where to get it. I said no but I’d be down to try it as long as I saw them do it first. They said there’s a private bathroom they go to, so there we went.
I KNOW how horrible it is to share needles. I KNOW that. I feel absolutely fucking DISGUSTED with myself but I really need some reassurance that I’ll be ok… or honesty if I won’t be..?
Anyway I don’t know if these guys are idiots (CLEARLY I’m the bigger one) I watched the first guy shoot and saw the difference it made in him. Pure happiness lol. He handed it over to his friend and he shot without cleaning the syringe of any sort. They asked me if I still wanted to try it and when I asked for a new needle they said it was the only one they had.
Like I said I’ve been in a really low place in my life, I was shitfaced, so I said fuck it.
Now I’m fucking terrified. Like actually petrified. I have no idea how many times they used it throughout the night, it was kind of crusty looking. As I’ve done research I feel like they could’ve been using it on repeat for the entire fucking night. Like I said I’ve never shot h or seen anyone do it and I simply just didn’t care in the moment.
Please what do I do? I genuinely hope someone can reassure that I’m not gonna get a blood clot and die or have a fucking stroke or something. I’m worried that some of the “crustiness” in the syringe was fucking coagulated blood. Basically my anxiety is telling me I shot up someone else’s dried blood and that I’m gonna get a blood clot and slowly die in the next few days. Please advice I am fucking terrified
To the point. I was at the casino. I was drunk as hell, probably to the point I shouldn’t have been in public.
I ended up hanging with some guys and drinking a few beers. They asked me if I’ve ever tried h before. I’ve had a cocaine problem for a while now but never been infront of h or even know where to get it. I said no but I’d be down to try it as long as I saw them do it first. They said there’s a private bathroom they go to, so there we went.
I KNOW how horrible it is to share needles. I KNOW that. I feel absolutely fucking DISGUSTED with myself but I really need some reassurance that I’ll be ok… or honesty if I won’t be..?
Anyway I don’t know if these guys are idiots (CLEARLY I’m the bigger one) I watched the first guy shoot and saw the difference it made in him. Pure happiness lol. He handed it over to his friend and he shot without cleaning the syringe of any sort. They asked me if I still wanted to try it and when I asked for a new needle they said it was the only one they had.
Like I said I’ve been in a really low place in my life, I was shitfaced, so I said fuck it.
Now I’m fucking terrified. Like actually petrified. I have no idea how many times they used it throughout the night, it was kind of crusty looking. As I’ve done research I feel like they could’ve been using it on repeat for the entire fucking night. Like I said I’ve never shot h or seen anyone do it and I simply just didn’t care in the moment.
Please what do I do? I genuinely hope someone can reassure that I’m not gonna get a blood clot and die or have a fucking stroke or something. I’m worried that some of the “crustiness” in the syringe was fucking coagulated blood. Basically my anxiety is telling me I shot up someone else’s dried blood and that I’m gonna get a blood clot and slowly die in the next few days. Please advice I am fucking terrified