I took an before I went to see Godzilla vs. King Kong last nite, and it was cool. It was a rare outing for and I enjoyed it. I am 10 days sub free, & things are good and get better all the time. I've lowered the kratom and keep doing it every couple days, taking less and less. I gotta say, it has helped so immensely during all this. Where it is needed, as at night time for sleep, and it works. The last few days sleeping has been normal. The other thing that is key, for me, is SWEAT. I workout for an hour everyday, & that is worth it's weight in gold, getting those natural endorphins running really does work. I am just happy to be free of the suboxone, and off the pharma wheel. I'm taking it slow, which is hard because my addicted mind wants everything Yesterday. I had a bit of guilt about taking the kratom in the beginning, but it's help has been so effective, and it gave me the space to step off the bupe with very minimal discomfort. It is THE TOOL I used to do this and I am very grateful for how it's helped. As i xhange my behaviors and develop a healthy routine, it will be phased out.
I wasn't sure I had another recovery in me, I've been battling this since my early 20s, and I'm in my mid 30s now. It has been my cross to bear and the hardest thing I've ever had to do was face it and make the CHOICE to get off. I loved getting high, & it worked for me for a long time. Somewhere along the line my life changed, I found my wife, we built a REAL life, a good one, and addiction didn't serve THIS new life. I am a musician, and I had lost my drive & passion for being involved and creating music. My lyricism faded away. I didn't wanna write anymore, which was my first love, and when I realized that had gone, that's when the reality set in that this disease had really wounded me. I was, and still am, Mind, Body, and SOUL-Sick. Yet, I've chosen the long road away from active addiction, and back to myself, whatever that means NOW. I accept it, and myself.
Brother, I've never been on methadone, but I know it's reputation as " liquid handcuffs" and the challenge of coming off. We all have the CHOICE to face these challenges, to resurrect ourselves. If you WANT IT, you can do it. We are way stronger than we think. If I can do it, you can, too. If anyone wants to reach out and talk, having a hard time, need to relate to someone in my/our position, my inbox is open. We.WILL.Do.This