Bupe I think it's time to jump... lookin for experience, strength & hope

[Jabberwocky]

Hey guys I hope everyone is well I just wanted to make this post because I'm at a Crossroads right now. I was on Suboxone steadily for about 3 years, starting at 24 mg. Over the course of the last year I have myself through tapering all the way down to my current 0.13 mgs. It seems ridiculous to me to have to take this little piece every morning when all I really want to do is get off of this. I wonder how much it's really doing for me in reality, is I'm sure a good part of it is mental. In preparation to jump what I've done is put myself on a chlorophyll heavy Green Shake cleanse, and tomorrow will be my fourth day, 3rd day at this low dose. I've also been taking a small amount of Kratom everyday ( at the MOST 3 tablespoons, but typically 2 in clean spring water )to help me with the weaning that's only been going on for about 2 weeks, and I don't plan on staying on it after I get the orange devil off my back. So I guess what I'm asking is for advice and if those of you out there who are much more knowledgeable than me in these areas would advise me jumping off at this point..? I feel like with the cleanse and the Kratom combined, it should help ease the process of detoxifying from the bike. Strangely enough every time I was in rehab while I was detoxing I would kind of unconsciously go through a cleanse anyway abstaining from food for a period of time, instinctively. So yeah I mean couraging words and advice would be much appreciated.
Also as far as mental and psychological recovery I have been there for years. I have held the same job, have a fantastic marriage, and graduated outpatient two times over. I'm ready to have my life back and I feel like the wound has been healed for a while it's just the cast has been left on longer than it needed to. I feel I'm ready

 

[drewbocop]

.13 is fantastic. I would either STOP taking 20+ grams of kratom immediately, or quit taking the bupe totally, and do a quick taper on the kratom and stop taking it. You shouldn't have taken the kratom at all, but 2 weeks is manageable. Don't let the kratom be your new addiction. I still take it daily and I haven't been on bupe or methadone in over 10 years. More like 12.

 

[axe battler]

Yeah you may get kraton wds so stop that first perhaps. Then after a week I would juno off the bupe. See if your doc will prescribe you a week of valium of oregabalin

 

[Jabberwocky]

since bupe has such a long half life, when I would jump I would take that tiny amount ever other day about 2 times. So take it tomorrow morning, then take it Wed, then Friday. Then wait 3 days, do that twice, then wait 3 days and start with the Kratom, and do a quick week long taper with that. If during that 3 day taper you can't handle it. I would try to use Kratom if I would have to. You can do this. And don't beat yourself up if it takes a little longer than you want it to. Just stay strong and keep telling yourself its not that bad and you can do it. Its never as bad as we tell ourselves it is. Mind over matter. Tell yourself you feel great and you will end up feeling better than you expect yourself to feel. YOU CAN DO THIS.

 

[ChinaGroove]

I've been through alot as an addict. I have no experience jumping. I've been on Methadone for five years now and I've been addicted to Opioids for about 13. From all the people that I've talked to who have jumped, hope and pray that the withdrawals won't be too long/intense due to the small amount that you're jumping off from. And of course there are the typical comfort meds to get you through such as clonidine or loperamide etc. And of course just think about how much better off you'll be without having to be dependent on anything. Good luck. You can do it.

 

[falsifiedhypothesi]

That's actually quite a bit of kratom and if you keep taking it at that dose you are probably going to get kratom withdrawals too. I would test the waters and drop the kratom first, if you get withdrawals then rapid taper the kratom first.

After you remove the kratom I assume it would be pretty easy to jump off of the bupe too. If that jump off the bupe is uncomfortable you can then use small amounts of kratom for a short time to ease the transition.

 

[Jabberwocky]

since bupe has such a long half life, when I would jump I would take that tiny amount ever other day about 2 times. So take it tomorrow morning, then take it Wed, then Friday. Then wait 3 days, do that twice, then wait 3 days and start with the Kratom,

That's actually quite a bit of kratom and if you keep taking it at that dose you are probably going to get kratom withdrawals too. I would test the waters and drop the kratom first, if you get withdrawals then rapid taper the kratom first.

After you remove the kratom I assume it would be pretty easy to jump off of the bupe too. If that jump off the bupe is uncomfortable you can then use small amounts of kratom for a short time to ease the transition.

All right guy so what I did was flush the rest of the bupe, so that temptation is gone, and psychologically I couldn't be happier about it. I know everyone says it starts to get reel around the 72-hour mark, so I'm prepared for that. But I got to say I can't believe how tolerable the kratom makes everything. As soon as I started to get chills today I took just a teaspoon ( which I found is only 4.2 grams, and I will be using that at the most twice a day) but I have no plan to stay on kratom, whenever I feel that the worst has subsided then I will ditch it. I have a couple of Lortabs and Oxy 5s, 4 of each to be exact, that after a week or so, I will probably use a few days, break whatever kratom tolerance has built up, If any, which I doubt, but just to be safe, and from there on out, it's clean slate. That's my plan. I know some of you may think it's a bit counter productive to take short acting opiates, but I feel like it's just another tool in my bag to get past the worst of bupe withdrawal, which im hoping isn't as bad as everyone says, since I weened down so hard and over the span of a year. I also just moved to a totally new location where I don't know anybody and have no chance of getting anything for myself, and don't want to. That's where I'm at as of right now, guys, thank you for all your responses and suggestions. Like I said I cut back on the kratom super hard when you guys told me that it was a lot, and I've been conscious of using under a teaspoon, only when it gets a little too rough. But so far so good. I just want to be off this Pharm Mill. Suboxone is the worst. I applaud all in any of you who have done this before me, and that goes for the methadone as well. I appreciate you guys helping me with this.

 

[bmf666]

man at .13/day i bet you'll have little to no symptom....

 

[Jabberwocky]

man at .13/day i bet you'll have little to no symptom....

I wish... it's 330 am right now and I'm kicking like a mule & unable to sleep, restless legs, etc. I'm wondering how long it'll be until this shit is totally out of my system, I read anywhere up to 9 days.

 

[Joey]

I wish... it's 330 am right now and I'm kicking like a mule & unable to sleep, restless legs, etc. I'm wondering how long it'll be until this shit is totally out of my system, I read anywhere up to 9 days.

I wont totally discount this because you are in fact physically accustomed to 0.13mg but you're experiencing mental anguish far more than physical withdrawal. Conversion to equivalent morphine would be under 4mg a day. It's not nothing but it's really not much either. You're going to have to find the resiliency, and it is there, mentally to start getting past this. The stress is real but the actual amount of medication you're withdrawing you're taking is nearly zero.

You're in 12 steps right? Experience, strength, and hope. You have anybody you can talk to? Even in the worst of situations with heavy habits being able to havea sounding board helps a lot.

I really think it's the idea of letting go of this substance over the physicality is the root of your anxieties and discomfort. There is always this option too, and don't be ashamed if you take it. You actually ready for this? I woulnd't ever say this to someone with a big habit but at your level the mental relief might be better long term than agonizing like this over relatively close to zero. Might even lead to a problem again if you get really distressed.

 

[seedee]

i jumped off at 1mg and felt terrible for a couple weeks. after 15 days i went back to work and still had crippling anxiety and very bad sleep habits. after about another couple weeks the anxiety started to subside sleeping was still a battle. now i'm over a year off suboxone and i feel great. it look a long time but holy crap it made such a huge difference in my life. i would love to chat when you jump. it's a beautiful thing to look back on and think holy shit.. im free from it all.

 

[Jabberwocky]

I wont totally discount this because you are in fact physically accustomed to 0.13mg but you're experiencing mental anguish far more than physical withdrawal. Conversion to equivalent morphine would be under 4mg a day. It's not nothing but it's really not much either. You're going to have to find the resiliency, and it is there, mentally to start getting past this. The stress is real but the actual amount of medication you're withdrawing you're taking is nearly zero.

You're in 12 steps right? Experience, strength, and hope. You have anybody you can talk to? Even in the worst of situations with heavy habits being able to havea sounding board helps a lot.

I really think it's the idea of letting go of this substance over the physicality is the root of your anxieties and discomfort. There is always this option too, and don't be ashamed if you take it. You actually ready for this? I woulnd't ever say this to someone with a big habit but at your level the mental relief might be better long term than agonizing like this over relatively close to zero. Might even lead to a problem again if you get really distressed.

Well buddy I can tell you this I didn't wake myself up at 3:30 in morning and will myself to feel like shit. I have no qualms about being clean, it's what I want and have wanted for a while. I honestly hope your right, because then I can realize it and mentally deal with it. I would imagine if it was all in my head i would be able to physically stay asleep though.

 

[Joey]

Well buddy I can tell you this I didn't wake myself up at 3:30 in morning and will myself to feel like shit. I have no qualms about being clean, it's what I want and have wanted for a while. I honestly hope your right, because then I can realize it and mentally deal with it. I would imagine if it was all in my head i would be able to physically stay asleep though.

The hardest part of getting by and staying clean is psychological. All in your head, suggesting thats true, is all you’ve got. Thats everything right? I dont mean to discount you at all.

I have no qualms with being clean either but I cant stop my daily regimen for long. Wanting to he clean and wanting a drug out of a psychiatric compulsion in addiction are two different things. Not matter how big or small the dose is.. If I was able to stick to my prescribed meds only Id be so, so improved over where Im actually at.

To clarify, I think youre actually in a really good spit either way at 0.13mg or 0. Id hate to read you had some meltdown and relapsed trying to perfect something thats almost perfect as is. You are definitely in charge of your thoughts and especially your actions here but I do have a perspective here I think is worth considering if this gets too agonizing at this stage. You;re doing great either way, and chances are you will continue to anyway so do what you think is best. Really.

 

[Jabberwocky]

The hardest part of getting by and staying clean is psychological. All in your head, suggesting thats true, is all you’ve got. Thats everything right? I dont mean to discount you at all.

I have no qualms with being clean either but I cant stop my daily regimen for long. Wanting to he clean and wanting a drug out of a psychiatric compulsion in addiction are two different things. Not matter how big or small the dose is.. If I was able to stick to my prescribed meds only Id be so, so improved over where Im actually at.

To clarify, I think youre actually in a really good spit either way at 0.13mg or 0. Id hate to read you had some meltdown and relapsed trying to perfect something thats almost perfect as is. You are definitely in charge of your thoughts and especially your actions here but I do have a perspective here I think is worth considering if this gets too agonizing at this stage. You;re doing great either way, and chances are you will continue to anyway so do what you think is best. Really.

I hear U, bruh, & I appreciate the perspective & words of encouragement

 

[drewbocop]

I wont totally discount this because you are in fact physically accustomed to 0.13mg but you're experiencing mental anguish far more than physical withdrawal. Conversion to equivalent morphine would be under 4mg a day. It's not nothing but it's really not much either. You're going to have to find the resiliency, and it is there, mentally to start getting past this. The stress is real but the actual amount of medication you're withdrawing you're taking is nearly zero.

You're in 12 steps right? Experience, strength, and hope. You have anybody you can talk to? Even in the worst of situations with heavy habits being able to havea sounding board helps a lot.

I really think it's the idea of letting go of this substance over the physicality is the root of your anxieties and discomfort. There is always this option too, and don't be ashamed if you take it. You actually ready for this? I woulnd't ever say this to someone with a big habit but at your level the mental relief might be better long term than agonizing like this over relatively close to zero. Might even lead to a problem again if you get really distressed.

Hell of a lot of truth in this post

 

[Jabberwocky]

Hell of a lot of truth in this post

As time goes on, this is proving itself true. I have way more control of how I feel then I think, and everyday it gets a little clearer,and easier. I do have minor aches, irritability, and trouble sleeping. Beyond that, I'm pretty much good. It helped to hear that, Outlier, good looks

 

[Jabberwocky]

It's been 9 days... wondering if i take those oxy5s if I'll feel them... the tabs I jumped the gun with on the 4th day and didn't feel a damn thing

 

[Tramalala]

It's been 9 days... wondering if i take those oxy5s if I'll feel them... the tabs I jumped the gun with on the 4th day and didn't feel a damn thing

I know I would have taken them already. lol. But honestly I'd suggest waiting atleast 31 days before "trying" that. It's a dangerous road, keep that in mind. Don't kid yourself, I know how hard that is though.

 

[Spideronthewall]

It's been 9 days... wondering if i take those oxy5s if I'll feel them... the tabs I jumped the gun with on the 4th day and didn't feel a damn thing

I would flush them dude/dudette. Nothing good can come from that, I would flush them. If you need to feel something stick to kratom. Not sure if you've lowered that dose yet but if you get it down to 10gpd you might be able to catch a minor buzz from it on the first dose of the day. Good luck and godspeed. I'm going through similar stuff to you except its methadone 2mg @ the moment. Feeling shitty but its probably mostly psychological as well. I wish you the best.

 

[Jabberwocky]

I would flush them dude/dudette. Nothing good can come from that, I would flush them. If you need to feel something stick to kratom. Not sure if you've lowered that dose yet but if you get it down to 10gpd you might be able to catch a minor buzz from it on the first dose of the day. Good luck and godspeed. I'm going through similar stuff to you except its methadone 2mg @ the moment. Feeling shitty but its probably mostly psychological as well. I wish you the best.

I took an before I went to see Godzilla vs. King Kong last nite, and it was cool. It was a rare outing for and I enjoyed it. I am 10 days sub free, & things are good and get better all the time. I've lowered the kratom and keep doing it every couple days, taking less and less. I gotta say, it has helped so immensely during all this. Where it is needed, as at night time for sleep, and it works. The last few days sleeping has been normal. The other thing that is key, for me, is SWEAT. I workout for an hour everyday, & that is worth it's weight in gold, getting those natural endorphins running really does work. I am just happy to be free of the suboxone, and off the pharma wheel. I'm taking it slow, which is hard because my addicted mind wants everything Yesterday. I had a bit of guilt about taking the kratom in the beginning, but it's help has been so effective, and it gave me the space to step off the bupe with very minimal discomfort. It is THE TOOL I used to do this and I am very grateful for how it's helped. As i xhange my behaviors and develop a healthy routine, it will be phased out.

I wasn't sure I had another recovery in me, I've been battling this since my early 20s, and I'm in my mid 30s now. It has been my cross to bear and the hardest thing I've ever had to do was face it and make the CHOICE to get off. I loved getting high, & it worked for me for a long time. Somewhere along the line my life changed, I found my wife, we built a REAL life, a good one, and addiction didn't serve THIS new life. I am a musician, and I had lost my drive & passion for being involved and creating music. My lyricism faded away. I didn't wanna write anymore, which was my first love, and when I realized that had gone, that's when the reality set in that this disease had really wounded me. I was, and still am, Mind, Body, and SOUL-Sick. Yet, I've chosen the long road away from active addiction, and back to myself, whatever that means NOW. I accept it, and myself.
Brother, I've never been on methadone, but I know it's reputation as " liquid handcuffs" and the challenge of coming off. We all have the CHOICE to face these challenges, to resurrect ourselves. If you WANT IT, you can do it. We are way stronger than we think. If I can do it, you can, too. If anyone wants to reach out and talk, having a hard time, need to relate to someone in my/our position, my inbox is open. We.WILL.Do.This