• HEALTH & RECOVERY
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules Thread Directory 1 Thread Directory 2
    Mindfulness Links Addiction & Mind
    Sober Living Partner Program (SLiPP)
  • H&R Moderators: streaM Freak

I think I'm finally taking this seriously...but I need some help.

N

Nocturne83

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 2, 2012
Messages
205
Location
MA
I've been on a suboxone program for the past few weeks now, but I've always lapsed every week. Right now, I'm on 12 mg a day, and I've managed to stay clean for an entire week. The past couple of days have been difficult, but I've managed to fight the temptation. Maybe because I'm doing an intensive outpatient program and getting random drug tests. But even then, they'll at least forgive me if I'm honest with them, the way I've been with the suboxone people.
I'm most worried that I'll simply use again on Tuesday, when I re-up my subs. If I use on Tuesday, I'll have more than enough time to get the heroin out of my system before the suboxone people drug-test me. Still, I'd like to make it for more than 10 measly days. That seems to be the longest I can go, subs or no subs. I'm told I'm not even giving the subs enough time to take effect.
Every time I drive home from work or wherever, I'm tempted to pull into the city where I get my dope, and into the ghetto. My counselor told me to do something good to myself. Eat a good breakfast or whatever. Guess I'll start with some toast tomorrow and see where that takes me. Maybe an apple for a snack(I've been slacking off on my apple a day habit).
What do other people do to fight off the cravings?
 
Hey Nocturne. There are four types of food that cause dopamine releases.. sugar, salt, fat, spd spicy. I would recommend that you get something that has little portions that also contains a few of these. The little portions are so you may consume a few of these at times when it get tough and not put on allot of weight. I used poppycock because I dont mess around. Another one is the support network.. Since you are in an IOP program I would exchange phone number with a few people in the group and call them when your craving. Allot of times just talking about the craving can have a positive result. Meditation or prayer is another one that works well for people. The way that I use is that I just think though the craving.. it always whispers how great its going to be, but I fell for that enough to know its utter nonsense.. so when it whispers I will make you feel amazing.. I reply in my head by calling it on its nonsense and tell it how it will actually make me feel. It also good to remember that a craving isn't going to last for ever it just feels like it. The diminish in frequency and power the longer you go. Its also nice to remember that once you make it through a craving brought on by being triggered by something you have greatly diminished allot of the power of that trigger.. so when that trigger comes up again it wont be nearly as powerful. Your doing great keep at it<3
 
Thanks. Made it through another day. There's a big snowstorm going on where I live, which made it pretty easy not to want to go and cop. Instead, I'll be reading this new book I bought yesterday. The money I spent on it would get me enough dope to get me high for an evening. This book will probably last for a few days, and of course, re-readable in the future. I'm reminding myself each week by getting little things for myself, that because I'm not spending $ on dope, or even cigarettes(they go hand-in-hand for me), I can afford to buy things like video games, books, movies, or getting food with friends.
 
I'm hoping I can move out of my parents' house by the summer. Preferably somewhere closer to work, which would also be closer to my boyfriend, who knows about my addiction and has been supportive in my recovery. I'm 30 years old, so it's time for me to live my life as an adult. :)
 
Hey Nocturne, fighting off the cravings is the hardest part (after being sick) I know what you're saying, that temptation is there when you are driving and close to that certain area. That's a major trigger in itself, so even taking another route would benefit you. Do whatever you need to so you can stave them off: going to meetings and reaching out to others in recovery, rewarding yourself with foods you like or you've already mentioned, a new book. The subs only do so much in a physical way, the mental part was very hard for me too. Good for you making it through another day! Look forward to a month too! <3
 
Tomorrow is the ultimate test. I always fail after ten days sober. I fail miserably. How can I keep from screwing up again?
 
Nocturne83 said:
Tomorrow is when I make it farther than i have ever before. I used to fail after ten days sober.
Click to expand...
fixed that for you<3.. This why I dont count days.. if i dont know than my addiction doesn't know how long it been waiting.. all we ever have to do is make it through today.. and every day we make means it is easier and easier;)
 
one thing that really helps me through cravings is to think about all the things that i am greatful for. when i think about all these wonderful things it makes me less inclined to throw them all away for drugs. behaviors have to be changed by behaviors, when you get a craving you need to take action with another healthy coping skill (behavior) like talking, praying (if you are into that), meditation, exercise, engaging in a hobby, calling someone, ect...what really brings the greatfuls home is to think about all of the things im thankful for, and then take action on them. for example, if i am greatful for my family, i will call them or spend time with them, and not just simply "think" about them.
 
Well, I failed. I didn't spend an obscene amount of money, but I did fail. Back on suboxone, and hating this life. Always scared I'll fuck up and lose my job, just when I'm finally making enough money to move out, and ready to start saving up. Why is it always on the 10th day?!
 
Self-care is super important Nocturne83. I was in an IOP and used; tried to get others to use to (I was naughty). I personally take a bath and bring my record player in the bathroom and just listen to whatever floats my boat at that hour. I also crochet, play stupid iPad games (Sims and Tapped Out).

Having a healthy distraction is good. I also write it out. Why I want to use, or have an urge, or feeling; talk to my partner or call my ex.

Hopes this helps.

x
 
It's day 5 of yet another try. My suboxone program is testing my pee twice a week for the next month. I dunno...I feel like even if I succeed, it won't count now, since I have the threat of being suspended from the program for two weeks if I fail. Plus, I have a hearing coming up, so there's the threat of lots of very bad things happening. Been watching "Orange Is the New Black" on Netflix (basically a prison comedy) and real prison documentaries to remind me why I don't want to keep using. Also don't want any abscesses. I had a couple already.
Day 10 will be agony, but there's so many bad consequences hanging over my head that I have no choice but to do what I need to do (or rather, don't do it, lol)
 
Well okay! Day six is great, Like NSA said it's not important counting the days, stop stressing about that. <3 You'll get there.
I know you have to be good for legal reasons, but it's bigger than that. You have to keep going and stop thinking about relapsing.
 
I'm actually feeling okay right now. Maybe I'm finally at a good dosage(16mg), but I hardly think about dope now. I've got a lot of other things on my mind now, stuff I can enjoy again. Pretty happy with that.
 
Hey Nocturne, how are you doing? A few days have passed since your last post. Are you still feeling pretty happy and not thinking about drugs? Hope you're doing well <3
 
You gotta remind yourself that using is never a solution for anything you could ever imagine it being a solution for. The truth is that whatever you want using to do for you, it will actually make the issue worse 100% of the time. (you can say the problem you wanna fix is that you're sober, but then i'll ask whats wrong with being sober, if you say you don't know, then i'll say thats why people work the steps)

I realize that knowing this isn't always enough. (And this is all factual, not opinion based.) The insanity comes in when you know using will make things worse, but you are still craving. Ones someone uses to the point of creating cravings for themselves, the brain has biologically changed and it's not longer a psychological issue, but a neurological one. The only thing that helps get rid of cravings is time. The longer you stay sober, the less cravings you will have - however relapsing once for 1 day will bring you back to square one with cravings as if you never had any clean time at all.

The only way's i have found to get over cravings in the moment is talking to people, engaging in something to distract myself, meetings, or sleeping it off. In the past when i get a craving and sit there contemplating whether or not to use, I almost always end up using. Don't start considering doing it because if you do, then you've probably already made the decision whether you are fooling yourself or not.

Talk to people, work a program of recovery (i do the steps, has done miracles for me), stay active, and be honest - with yourself as well as other people.

Good luck.. Stay positive! I hope this post wasn't too scattered.
 
Hey folks. I'm still sober. On day 13 now, so I made it past day 10 for the first time in more than a year. :D
Hadn't posted in a while because I caught a pretty bad cold, so I was mostly sleeping. I know this sobriety's only lasting longer because now I'm getting drug tested twice a week. But I don't want to bother messing with those tricks to beat the urine tests, and I don't want to get kicked off the suboxone program. This will also give me the opportunity to experience a month of clean time before they go back to only testing me once a week. By then, it might be easier to keep off the drugs.

The only way's i have found to get over cravings in the moment is talking to people, engaging in something to distract myself, meetings, or sleeping it off. In the past when i get a craving and sit there contemplating whether or not to use, I almost always end up using. Don't start considering doing it because if you do, then you've probably already made the decision whether you are fooling yourself or not.
Click to expand...

You hit the nail RIGHT on the head there when you said that. That's exactly what happened if I'd contemplate using. Fact is, I've finally come to the conclusion that there isn't anything left for me to do that I need to shoot up for. I've watched enough trippy movies, enough viewings of Adult Swim, done enough jam sessions...I can do all of that stuff sober now. That's the little light of hope I'm chasing after.
So I'm doing pretty well. Thanks for asking. :)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top