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I think I may need to go on an anti-depressant

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Psynaught

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Joined
Sep 12, 2023
Messages
458
Life is not going my way and I think I may need to go on an antidepressant. I don't think of myself as mentally ill but was diagnosed as Bi-polar 14 years ago and see a Psych/NP already. I have an appointment with her in 2 days. I have been doing fine on just Seroquel and Carbamazepine for years, nothing else. I drank alcoholically until I was 27 but have not had a drink in 34 years. But I don't really want to go back to AA. Meetings are far away and driving my car only contributes to my financial problems.

I am primarily bummed about my family.

I am retired and on a fixed income. I gave my son the best childhood possible. He was a high achiever, star athlete and had good (but not spectacular) grades. I rescued him when he started using drugs at 13. I was strict but never abusive (never even spanked him once). He was also young (only 17) when he graduated. I had $35k in his college fund and recommended that he stay at home, go to Junior College, and save money so that we (my wife and I) could fund his Junior/Senior year at a university. He has a full tuition waiver at this University

But he wanted to go away to college which resulted in the exhausting of his money by end of sophomore year. Now he says he wants to come home. Unfortunately that means he spent the money that could have been saved and I don't know how I will pay his last 2 years of college.

This sounds like a luxury problem...but I am so depressed about it that I am thinking that it might be better if I were simply not around. I feel completely helpless.

I have a bunch of drugs...Ecstasy, every opiod out there. I just went through major surgery (part of where my money went...$12k) but I know that taking drugs will only make matters worse.

Thanks for letting me rant. The people on this forum are really nice.
 
Honestly i think methylphenidate might be worth trying over traditional anti depressants. Alot less sde effects and it actually works
 
paranoid android said:
Honestly i think methylphenidate might be worth trying over traditional anti depressants. Alot less sde effects and it actually works
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Thank you for the response. The moderators on here are always great. What is methylphenidate?

EDIT: Just searched...Ritalin. I actually have Adderal, which of course makes you feel better for a few hours. However at my advanced age (I was born right after the dinosaurs died) and enlarged heart it probably is not a good choice for me. I also have Modafinil.

A more standard anti depressant is probably a better choice. Kratom boosts my mood. I actually used to take 5 grams a day but cut that down to 2. I had a major surgery...full shoulder replacement and wanted to minimize any opiods. I actually took very little (and suffered greatly). I still have a bottle of Vicodin.
 
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Psynaught said:
Thank you for the response. The moderators on here are always great. What is methylphenidate?
Click to expand...

It's better known as ritalin and concerta. It's a stimulant but has much less side effects then amphetamine atleast for me. I get a few of them a month and damn do they ever wake you up in the morning and pu you in a good mood lol
 
paranoid android said:
It's better known as ritalin and concerta. It's a stimulant but has much less side effects then amphetamine atleast for me. I get a few of them a month and damn do they ever wake you up in the morning and pu you in a good mood lol
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Yes, I searched and edited my comment above. I will run it by my NP on Wednesday. As noted I already ave other stimulants, but not a good idea at my age. But again, thanks for the reply.

EDIT: What about Trazedone?
 
Psynaught said:
Yes, I searched and edited my comment above. I will run it by my NP on Wednesday. As noted I already ave other stimulants, but not a good idea at my age. But again, thanks for the reply.

EDIT: What about Trazedone?
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If your a guy dont take trazadone. It can cause priapism. Also its not known as a great anti d its mostly used for sleep these days

Ya if you have a fucked heart stay the fuck away from adderall imo. Ritalin is much easier on the heart and concerta lasts for about 10 hours

Taking a opiate for depression is kind of a very slippery slope. I was in that exact position maybe 20 years ago. I had really bad chronic pain and also depression (probably from the pan loking back) and i started off with codeine and ended up IVng diludid every 4 hours at one point a few yers later. Not addicted anymore but i still get high on morphine and take it for pain. Hydrocodone is kinda a weaker opiate but still addictive. I dont really know shit about kratom never had it
 
Kratom is by far the safest...but of course also weakest. I've had an Oxy stash for 2 years now. I was going to take them after my shoulder replacement but I tried to stick to my doctors "Multimodal Pain Management."


It turns out my docs were/are insane. Medieval. The pain was so bad I don't even remember the first 4 days. But I took minimum opiods. I know they would make me feel good right now. It is nearly 10 at night and I have not taken anything. Going to take 2 grams of Kratom. The Oxy's are incredible, but I almost never take them.
 
Psynaught said:
Kratom is by far the safest...but of course also weakest. I've had an Oxy stash for 2 years now. I was going to take them after my shoulder replacement but I tried to stick to my doctors "Multimodal Pain Management."


It turns out my docs were/are insane. Medieval. The pain was so bad I don't even remember the first 4 days. But I took minimum opiods. I know they would make me feel good right now. It is nearly 10 at night and I have not taken anything. Going to take 2 grams of Kratom. The Oxy's are incredible, but I almost never take them.
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Oxy was the first opiate i eer got addicted to. Depression during oxy wd is pretty severe i have to say. probably because oxy has a sorta stimulating effect
 
IDK when people ask advice about treating depression I always refer them to a qualified provider. They know your circumstances and depression comes in all types of flavors. Best to consult a qualified provider, and even they can be wrong...question everything.
 
probablyanxious said:
@Psynaught

What did your NP have to say? How are the depression symptoms going now?
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She convinced me to talk to a therapist....probably something I needed to do 45 years ago, LOL. Was able to do a lightweight back/pt workout...watched some TV with the wife. Feeling a little bit better.

We are holding off on any medication. Once my shoulder gets to the point that I am working out, and maybe also working through some issues hopefully will put me in a place where I do not need them.

My NP only manages drugs, but I trust her (better than 2 terrible Psych's I saw before...real dirtbags). I do have issues. I was beaten pretty severely as a very young child and when I got older became very violent myself. It was not until I raised my son (never put a hand on him) that I realized my childhood was not normal.

So yeah, next week I will talk to a therapist.
 
^^^sounds like a plan @Psynaught mate

have a good go at therapy before trying antiD's - I've been around a lot of SSRI usage personally and professionally and you have as much chance (if not more) of it making things substantially worse than getting any benefit, imo. Of course they do help some people, some

You also sound like you're on the verge of some pretty significant realisations about yourself which would truly be a shame to have halted by the SSRI numbing agents
 
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