*sigh* 
It seems like just about every thread I post in I say the wrong thing. I piss people off or irritate them or whatever. Then I end up feeling stupid or personally attacked because they are angry and I'm just so sensitive that it REALLY hurts me...
I don't know what the hell is wrong with me that it seems that people just don't like me. Sad when I can't even make friends online. I feel rather unwanted all together. (Yeah I know this sounds like a pity party but it's just how I feel and I am allowed to feel what I feel. You can't really control how you feel and rarely how you think.) I don't know if it is just a more recent thing with my interactions or if it has been going on for awhile. I thought that I had done a lot better with my interactions in the last 6 months..........guess not. I have tried to be less attention seeking and dramatic as I'm getting my BPD symptoms under control.
Jeez I'm just a social retard maybe. No wonder I never have or had any friends. I try to be a good person, really I do. Kind, considerate, supportive, but it seems that no one sees that at all. Maybe I'm just totally fooling myself cause there are people that I bet wouldn't care if I dropped off the face of the earth. I NEVER EVER mean to hurt anyone in ANY way or drive them from what they need. Really I often try to give them what they need and help them feel better but I guess I just fucking suck.
Maybe just maybe it might be that I'm often on here when I'm spun and I don't function as well as I think I do when I'm like that. I feel like I function normally but maybe I'm just totally freaking off.
On top of this I have work and money issues, school and just a whole big scary mess with Sean (See DS social because I don't feel like writing it all out again.
It seems like just about every thread I post in I say the wrong thing. I piss people off or irritate them or whatever. Then I end up feeling stupid or personally attacked because they are angry and I'm just so sensitive that it REALLY hurts me... I don't know what the hell is wrong with me that it seems that people just don't like me. Sad when I can't even make friends online.
I feel rather unwanted all together. (Yeah I know this sounds like a pity party but it's just how I feel and I am allowed to feel what I feel. You can't really control how you feel and rarely how you think.) I don't know if it is just a more recent thing with my interactions or if it has been going on for awhile. I thought that I had done a lot better with my interactions in the last 6 months..........guess not. I have tried to be less attention seeking and dramatic as I'm getting my BPD symptoms under control. Jeez I'm just a social retard maybe. No wonder I never have or had any friends. I try to be a good person, really I do. Kind, considerate, supportive, but it seems that no one sees that at all.
Maybe I'm just totally fooling myself cause there are people that I bet wouldn't care if I dropped off the face of the earth. I NEVER EVER mean to hurt anyone in ANY way or drive them from what they need. Really I often try to give them what they need and help them feel better but I guess I just fucking suck. Maybe just maybe it might be that I'm often on here when I'm spun and I don't function as well as I think I do when I'm like that. I feel like I function normally but maybe I'm just totally freaking off.
On top of this I have work and money issues, school and just a whole big scary mess with Sean (See DS social because I don't feel like writing it all out again.
