Recovery I never thought I'd make it here. A question and a thank you.

[Jabberwocky]

tbh i would report that shit to your national NA or whatever. they should not be using the name. it is supposed to be open to all addicts.

when i was in rehab we went to a fucking awful meeting- newcomers time was at the start and some guy basically fillibustered it (he was talking about having years in) to stop one particular person who was apparently a regular there and was nodding out in his seat (i have been in NA in similar states and had nothing but support), well he shared anyway and everyone around him was rolling their eyes, tutting, and looking at their watches, then the chair cut him off. guys grandad, who he lived with and had brought him up, had just died. so he was losing his home and closest family at once.

then at the break everyone ignored him til we went up to speak to him. being not in a great frame of my mind i mostly told him how jealous i was of how fucked up he was in that moment.

our support worker who'd took us was so disgusted that he reported the meeting. it got shut down and someone helped the guy get a place in rehab.

i didn't even know you could report NA meetings but there you go.

if you don't want to go down that route have you tried SMART? or i do a Buddhism-based online one that i can PM you the details of if you think it would help. but it may go offline when things open up here. what about your local drugs services? any options for therapy?

despite all that you have done really well.

unfortunately that shit you're using to forget rears its ugly head once you stop using. you can't run away from it forever, but once you've processed all that you will start seeing improvements white quickly.

 

[Juniper Bruhmomentius]

Boy i have faith in you

 

[tubgirl.jpg]

Boy i have faith in you

Man, you get me mushy and shit.

Thank you.

 

[tubgirl.jpg]

tbh i would report that shit to your national NA or whatever. they should not be using the name. it is supposed to be open to all addicts.

when i was in rehab we went to a fucking awful meeting- newcomers time was at the start and some guy basically fillibustered it (he was talking about having years in) to stop one particular person who was apparently a regular there and was nodding out in his seat (i have been in NA in similar states and had nothing but support), well he shared anyway and everyone around him was rolling their eyes, tutting, and looking at their watches, then the chair cut him off. guys grandad, who he lived with and had brought him up, had just died. so he was losing his home and closest family at once.

then at the break everyone ignored him til we went up to speak to him. being not in a great frame of my mind i mostly told him how jealous i was of how fucked up he was in that moment.

our support worker who'd took us was so disgusted that he reported the meeting. it got shut down and someone helped the guy get a place in rehab.

i didn't even know you could report NA meetings but there you go.

if you don't want to go down that route have you tried SMART? or i do a Buddhism-based online one that i can PM you the details of if you think it would help. but it may go offline when things open up here. what about your local drugs services? any options for therapy?

despite all that you have done really well.

unfortunately that shit you're using to forget rears its ugly head once you stop using. you can't run away from it forever, but once you've processed all that you will start seeing improvements white quickly.

Sorry for the late reply man!

I'm looking for a therapist, but the systems a mess right now.

I'm doing good, though. Okay. I want to blast my walls with my thoughts alot of my waking hours, but it's just like I highlighted;
shit I've been oppressing comes back. Viciously. But it's all in the game, I suppose.

I really appreciate you concern and support, it's amazing. Thank you.

 

[JessFR]

tbh i would report that shit to your national NA or whatever. they should not be using the name. it is supposed to be open to all addicts.

when i was in rehab we went to a fucking awful meeting- newcomers time was at the start and some guy basically fillibustered it (he was talking about having years in) to stop one particular person who was apparently a regular there and was nodding out in his seat (i have been in NA in similar states and had nothing but support), well he shared anyway and everyone around him was rolling their eyes, tutting, and looking at their watches, then the chair cut him off. guys grandad, who he lived with and had brought him up, had just died. so he was losing his home and closest family at once.

then at the break everyone ignored him til we went up to speak to him. being not in a great frame of my mind i mostly told him how jealous i was of how fucked up he was in that moment.

our support worker who'd took us was so disgusted that he reported the meeting. it got shut down and someone helped the guy get a place in rehab.

i didn't even know you could report NA meetings but there you go.

if you don't want to go down that route have you tried SMART? or i do a Buddhism-based online one that i can PM you the details of if you think it would help. but it may go offline when things open up here. what about your local drugs services? any options for therapy?

despite all that you have done really well.

unfortunately that shit you're using to forget rears its ugly head once you stop using. you can't run away from it forever, but once you've processed all that you will start seeing improvements white quickly.

Definitely agree with this.

I mean you probably can't literally shut them down, but narcotics anonymous is a registered trademark. The name has value and they can be stopped from using that, along with all the registered logos, texts and related branding.

And if they don't have that they'll probably fall apart anyway.

 

[tubgirl.jpg]

Definitely agree with this.

I mean you probably can't literally shut them down, but narcotics anonymous is a registered trademark. The name has value and they can be stopped from using that, along with all the registered logos, texts and related branding.

I know. If I had any energy over, I'd probably be there barking. I just don't, right now.

But it's really fucked up.

 

[Jabberwocky]

shit I've been oppressing comes back. Viciously. But it's all in the game, I suppose.

it comes back, but then you work through it, and it becomes less oppressive. i had loads in the post when i got clean, grieving for friends i'd lost, working through things i regret, but most of it would have me in tears for a day or two, then i sorta got over it, then within 24 hours the next load would hit me. i had 16 years of shit i hadn't dealt with in the post. i thought it would never end. but it did! and i got through it clean.

those were specific things though. if you have PTSD that is another issue- i ddin't even know i had CPTSD til i got to rehab cos the drugs were masking it so effectively. that required specialist support and is an ongoing issue, i am medicated for it which controls it mostly but still have to be careful about my interactions and avoid situations that i know trigger me. if you have been masking other types of mental illness they will need specialised support too.

feel free to use this place to vent and find people who've experienced similar. its really helped me feel less alone in my fuckedupness.

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

I shit you not. I can give you their phonenr. if you want to call'em. Or their mail. I was there last because I needed help.
Rules;
- Come high and your out
- Register at social welfare
- full focus for 3 months, no work allowed

They have taken the 12 step model and "tweaked" it. He told me it was more efficient.
I even aske him how they could call it Narcotics Anonymous when you had to register. Something about funding and yadayada.

If I take the train 1,5-2h, to another county, it's like regular NA. But I don't have time, no car or money for that shit..

Yeah, and you can't just go to a meeting. No open meetings. Totally and utterly fucked.

In case you think I'm full of shit, here's the NA Sweden site; you can email them and ask aboutt Västerås. Apperently they can adjust the program as they wish; https://www.nasverige.org/kontakt



Sleep. I need to sleep, to be precise. And it's just these first weeks. Anytime I've gone off, I can't sleep for days, pass out from exhaustion, and so it goes for a while. If anyone has a problem with me taking seroquel for a few days to not slip back to Xanax, then thank you and fuck you, haha.

Yeah, I'm calling tomorrow to get an appointment.

I started taking drugs because I have always had trouble sleeping. Then I continued because, well... I have no good answer. I just wanna able to sleep.
And I don't want Z-drugs or any shit that can get me high or hooked.

Hopefully, exercise and a good diet and a bit healthier lifestyle will help. But I have bipolar typ 2 aswell, and dysthymia, so there's that..

Thanks for taking time and answering man.

You should be very proud of yourself, for recognising you had a polydrug addiction and getting help for it, as well as quitting certain drugs on your own.

That group while cabureaucracylled NA, is not NA. Even in countries and places with lots of bureaucracy, registration is not required as it is anonymous, not associated with a city or town council, records of attendees are never kept, etc.

Can you go to AA groups? It is not NA but the 12 steps and sponsorship and staying sober are the goals of it like NA.

Now due to the internet, and covid pandemic, you do not even need to leave home or travel to go to an NA/AA meeting.

Meetings

virtual-na.org

I am sure you know this, but be extremely careful. Relapses or substitute addictions to drugs or addictive compulsive behaviour can happen.

Since you see a doctor can you tell him or her about your addiction issues, sleeping issues, etc. Or ask his or her advice about how to stay sober, local sobriety support groups, etc.?

For sleep issues-lifelong insomniac here-I find green tea helpful but it has L-theanine which relaxes you. I never took the L-theanine extracts, concentrations, or supplements. Exercise both cardiovascular and lifting help as well.

Much love to you and whatever works for you to keep you sober keep doing it.

 

[tubgirl.jpg]

You should be very proud of yourself, for recognising you had a polydrug addiction and getting help for it, as well as quitting certain drugs on your own.

That group while cabureaucracylled NA, is not NA. Even in countries and places with lots of bureaucracy, registration is not required as it is anonymous, not associated with a city or town council, records of attendees are never kept, etc.

Can you go to AA groups? It is not NA but the 12 steps and sponsorship and staying sober are the goals of it like NA.

Now due to the internet, and covid pandemic, you do not even need to leave home or travel to go to an NA/AA meeting.

Meetings

virtual-na.org

I am sure you know this, but be extremely careful. Relapses or substitute addictions to drugs or addictive compulsive behaviour can happen.

Since you see a doctor can you tell him or her about your addiction issues, sleeping issues, etc. Or ask his or her advice about how to stay sober, local sobriety support groups, etc.?

For sleep issues-lifelong insomniac here-I find green tea helpful but it has L-theanine which relaxes you. I never took the L-theanine extracts, concentrations, or supplements. Exercise both cardiovascular and lifting help as well.

Much love to you and whatever works for you to keep you sober keep doing it.

Thank you @PriestTheyCalledHim I appreciate it.

No, not really. Or, I don't know until my appointment, when I meet my new therapist.
But most Drs / psychiatrists are very fast in involving social welfare here, so I don't really trust them.

I'm looking for a private psychiatrist. I know they at least keep it to themselves.

I'll look into L-theanine. Again, thank you so much man

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

Thank you @PriestTheyCalledHim I appreciate it.

No, not really. Or, I don't know until my appointment, when I meet my new therapist.
But most Drs / psychiatrists are very fast in involving social welfare here, so I don't really trust them.

I'm looking for a private psychiatrist. I know they at least keep it to themselves.

I'll look into L-theanine. Again, thank you so much man

That is concerning that therapists, doctors/psychiatrists who are not private do not keep their patients'/clients' information, medical/mental health records, or what is discussed completely private. Find someone that is private or who respects patient/client privacy.

Rooibos from south africa can help with sleep, chamomile can as well. Valerian root is like a benzo chemically, and should be used with caution. Oolong tea has GABA. Passionflower and Valerian did not help, and too much Kava can cause liver damage like alcohol.