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I need some support from my BL fam

A

Animoe

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 13, 2012
Messages
250
So as some of you may know I've been sober about a week and a half now, starting to feel better, but also starting to feel the PAWS.
Well, my buddy/neighbor who I used to do dope with all the time showed up yesterday, he's doin alright but he's still dabbling with dope here and there. Well, I had a weak moment and gave him my last sub cause he told me he would get us dope a couple days later, well he's supposed to be gettin the dope tomorrow and I'm extremely tempted to do another shot cause these PAWS are gettin to me bad.

Anyway, he already ate the sub so I kinda feel like he owes me the dope, and I DO want to do the dope but I also DON'T want to do the dope.

Should I just let this one go and forget about the sub? Fuck I took 16mg of xanax and snorted about 20-30mg loperamide all within an hour and I still feel like shit. No sleep, RLS, cravings, etc..

P.S. Anyone got any ideas of what to do to help me sleep and to help my legs stop with the kicking and shit? it's drivin me nuts.
 
Hey Animone.. sorry you are hurting<3 but congratulations on the all you have accomplished so far=D It may be the last cleshay you want to hear right now but it does get better. When I jumped I jumped from a high dose like you 150mgpd methadone, 260 mgpd roxie, and 6 mgpd xanax. It took me a little under two months to get through the acutes for real but after three weeks they were allot better and after the opiate receptors finally shut down at a little before five months all the symptoms that were bothering me and more than a few I had just come to belive were normal all went away. the pain doctor I saw said he thought this would happen in a little over seven months but this seems to be an average.

What is one more shot going to do for you? nothing.. you will get a brief break from you symtoms but it will then drop you off back somewhere along the path you have already fought so hard to travel. This combined with the fact that you will still have a bunch of bupe still on board and the fact that a 160 mg methadone habit will have brought your tolerance so damn high.. so really what are you going to get off that shot.. nothing but a few hours of realtive comfort and a free trip back to the start of this tough road.

The class of drugs that are really working wonders for so many of the opiate withdrawals and specifically the exact one you mention are the GABA's.. I shit you not with the addiction of these many people's detox's become 100% better. So I would track down one of these as soon as you can. If you have a little doe then just hit a doctor and tell them whats up IMO. otherwise the phenibut is available over the internet and is not regulated in the states to my knowledge any way.. The GABA's*

medications for acute opiate detox

The medications I would explore the use of for detox would be:
>Clonidine< DOSED EVER FOUR HOURS..

*one of either
>NEURONTIN< >HERE< >HERE<
OR >Lyrica<
OR >phenibut<

>A BENZO BUT JUST AT NIGHT<
>a nsaid<
>melatonin<
tylenol

(Opi Withdrawal) what is the best comfort meds for opiate w/d?

Your Personal Opiate Withdrawal Arsenal

Your doing great and in a relatively short while you will be done with this fuck shit ride for good=D!!!!!!! Just one strong sustained push and you will be free Animoe.. fight, fight, fight:!

PS also If you are a male then I would definitely get a testosterone check and make the descion on weather TRT would be a good thing for you to do. With level of methadone that high you will likely be way way way low on your levels. this sin't the case for everyone but a good percentage. The TRT can make a huge difference in the battle against the paws as well as in helping your body return to a state similar to before you used. It really worked wonders for me. Like I said your doing amazing=D
 
I'm not sure how effective snorting loperamide is, by the way.

I'm so proud of you though for how well you are doing. It's easy for us to get down on ourselves with minor slip ups and bad decisions, but the fact that you are alive and doing your best to get over this addiction is truly phenomenal! Keep up all the great work. Nsa gave you some great information about meds that will help - the neurontin, clonidine, and benzo at night really just might make this whole process bareable for you! Remember, don't take too much of a benzo too often, you don't want to kick opiates only too have to kick benzos! Advil/ibuprofen worked better for me than tylenol for muscle and bone pain when I was kicking - maybe try both just to see which works better for you. Try not to lay around too much - I know the last thing you want to do while kicking is get up and walk around, I'm not saying go to the gym and do a full body workout just yet - but getting outside and going for a walk for 30mins to an hour, some fresh air, sun, minor exercise - it's really amazing how much it can help. The more you lay around, the more sore and rundown you will feel, in my experience. Hot showers/baths also provide a ton of temporary relief which is especially great when there is a spike in your symptoms. Last time I was in detox I took a bath every few hours and it really made a huge difference, just laying in hot water for a while. Doing this right before trying to get to sleep seemed to help me a lot too.

As the symptoms start to get a little better, try to exercise a bit more and be sure to eat healthy, whole food. IME junk food will just make symptoms worse.

Keep up the great work! I would strongly suggest just letting the thing with the sub/dope/friend go. Just let it go. The fact that you brought it up means you know it's a bad idea - It could prolong your withdrawals, you could overdose, you could get into a state of mind where you say fuck it and just keep using, etc.

Best of luck, and stay positive!
 
yeah,you should probably let go off that sub.IF your friend shows up with dope (junkies lie,he probably just needed you'r sub
and gave u a story)say NO and maybe that will be your start towards permanent sobriety.

subs are worth gold on the street,don't give them away.just a suggestion.they take away WD's,make the depression bearable,
someone would say whatever if they're in pain.

it's strange that the xanax didn't help.you must have a high tolerance.
I only smoke weed apart from some benzo lapses here and there when I feel like screaming and committing myself.
I overdo it when i do it.20-60mg valium within short periods of time.

the only thing that keeps me ok is smoking high grade bud,NO drinking,nothing like that.only weed.
but many get paranoid from it and i wouldn't recommend.

I don't know,try to get free from the opiate slavery.I couldn't in the end even do that and am on sub maintenance.
but I have treatment resistant depression and the subs keeps me at a functioning level.
Suboxone works on depression.
I have a kid and a home and a separated wife and once the dope was out of my life I could take part.

best of luck.
 
sorry it's been awhile since I've been on here, and also, thank you all of you very much for your support. It's getting easier, turns out my withdrawals are not completely over, and over the past few days I've been trying to get into an inpatient detox. My insurance is bein hard to deal with though and sayin I'll have to go back to my sub doctor and get him to taper me down to a lower dose before I go into inpatient detox.. I think it's a good idea, I got an appointment with him tomorrow first thing in the morning.

I thought my withdrawals were over cause I was withdrawaling for the first 2-3 days of coming off subs then for like the next 4-5 days I felt really good, like REALLY good.. no anxiety, no withdrawals, nothing. but it's come back so that's what I'm dealin with.. Thank you all you BL'ers! much love, Hope everything is goin good for you all.
 
Hang in there Animoe.

Thanks for the update. Thats really pretty unusual.

I guess when was your last dose of sub and lopi relevant to the onset of the second set of symtoms?

What day did you stop taking the Lope in regards to the second onset of symptoms.
Another thing is it could be the onset of the Paws in force. Usually that is what happens.. people finally get through the acutes and feel grate for a couple days and then the paws Hit.

PAWS LINKS
Why We Don’t Get Better Immediately: Post-acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS)
Post Acute Withdrawal (PAW) Excerpted From “Staying Sober” By: Terence T. Gorski
Post-acute-withdrawal syndrome Wiki
http://www.clairedorotik.com/NLWC-EXERCISE_AND_MOOD.htm
ADD take http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/673580-Hey-I-thought-the-grey-matter-of-ADD-could-chew-on-this
Managing depressive thinking

it is a powerful thing to keep our thoughts possitive and here are some threads many of us use to help us do this.
Good things about being off drugs/getting sober
Share something POSITIVE from your day!
Today I Am Thankful For... Ver. 3: Earth, Wind and Fire!



You will get this done.. just keep at it!!
 
Well, I don't know exactly what days I was on and off suboxone/taking what at what days/how many days it's been cause it's all just a blur from all the xanax I was taking among other sedatives. But I went back to my sub doctor today, he was completely understanding and put me back on sub and on a taper schedule, it's gonna take a few months but if that's what I gotta do to get clean then so be it.

again, thanks for the support guys, it really helps.
 
Maaaaaannnnn my neighbor (same guy as last time) is beggin for my subs again now that he knows that I got em. He's tryin ta guilt trip me into givin him some sub sayin he got kicked outta his house and he's super sick, saying "Oh I've hooked you up for years and never said anything about it" etc. and I DID end up tradin him a that sub for some H that I was talkin about in the beginning of this thread and he's throwin that in my face sayin "I gave you a no prices bag and subs are only worth no prices and I gave you like 3 rigs" but I fronted that shit to him for a few days so I think a no prices sub is worth the no prices bag of H we traded cause he made me wait for days. And who gives a fuck about the rigs he gave me, those shits are practically free.

Now he's gettin all butthurt though cause I won't give up a sub for him cause I don't feel like tradin places with him and have ME bein the one withdrawalin, and now he's ignoring my texts and shit when I'm tryin to suggest other things like loperamide or ambien etc.

I'm just tired of givin up my subs for him anytime he gets sick, cause that's one less day that I get a sub. And I'm close to bein clean, he's just still doin dope not tryin to get clean at all, he's just tryin to get by till he can get his next fix.



And thanks caseface, don't know why, but you sayin that I'll be fine if I stick with my plan makes me feel good..

neversick, those links are good reading and very helpful.. givin me hope. thank you. BTW, neversick, have you tried phenibut? does it help with withdrawals really well? I read a little on it and it says it can help relieve anxiety for the first little bit, but after repeated use it causes anxiety... sounds like something I might wanna try.

good words from good people.

Thanks again everyone.

Sorry I'm just venting cause he's bugging the shit out of me.
 
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^ or better yet just ignore him.

I can tell you are a good person, I'm the same way Animoe - I always get caught up feeling obligated to help other people. It's really amazing and a great personality trait to have, except sometimes it's not whats best for YOU, and this is one of those situations. Right now, it sucks, but you need to be selfish. Being selfish is whats going to keep you clean. You are not obligated to give this guy shit, and while I can understand feeling the need to help him, you said it yourself - he is still out there using just trying to stay well until he gets his next fix, and you are trying to get totally clean and fix your life. Honestly just ignore him, and get on with your life. Keep getting your shit together and do whatever you need to do for yourself, don't let this asshole bring you down. If you keep giving him subs whenever he is sick, he is going to keep trying to get them from you whenever he is sick. He won't stop until you stop - and asking you to cause yourself to get dope sick so that he can feel well is selfish on his part, way more selfish than you not helping him out. He has nothing to offer you except hardship, stress, and anxiety. You are trying to stay clean and the only way for him to "get you back" is by giving you dope - which isn't helping you at all. So fuck this guy, just worry about yourself right now and keeping yourself off of dope.
 
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