PurpleKush1
Bluelighter
im on zyprexa (olanzapine) an depacine, both are modd stabilizers. im ready to stop all stims, but i cant give up weed. everydya i dont smoke i am worst and worst, more irritbalre and more insomnia
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TDS I need help, im scared i screwed up my brain for good this time
- Thread starter PurpleKush1
- Start date
^^
How people react to mood stabilizers is dramatically different and their effectiveness is less than superb.. I know its old school but at least explore the addition of lithium.. requires blood test but has a good chance of working rite away as soon as therapeutic dose is reached.. probably not one that i would stay on if something else can be found because of risks of permanent tremor.. I know someone that this particular drug worked for a long term stimulant induced psychosis.. I think you will do fine.. also some of your agitation is bound to be caused buy cleaning up. Hang in there.
PurpleKush1
Bluelighter
thanks for the suport neversickanymore. Now the problem is since im medicated i feel better psychologcialy less fear and panic, but im crrrraving to get high. mainly weed,xaxnax,coke or h. Idream about fucking h even though i used it what 10 days everyday and thats it? i just spend thwe day thinking how to get high but i sont feel its right to msoke now....
a major thing that i use and have practiced to the point that I can shut my cravings down is simple but hard to ex pain. Say I get the begginin of a craving for coke.. I think of how it really makes me feel and then make myself feel that way. So think about when you where able to remember a certain even then for a brief instant felt a little like that.. for instance you may have been able to do it for a time you where really sick, you may be able to think about that time and start to feel sick. Or maybe a time when someone or something close to passed away, and when you think about that you begin to feel a little like you did then. Now remember how the drug actually makes you feel.. Actually makes you feel, not for that second we focus on but the rest, so for coke it could make you feel that nasty cant talk, higher anxiety, peek'n out windows, ect.. then focus on that feeling and force yourself to feel that way.. with practice you will be able to put a craving out like a cigarette but in water. please let me know if this helps.. i will be back on bl later and will try and post ways to deal with cravings.. or start a thread and ask for how others deal with cravings with out using.. unfortunately you have to learn how to live clean.. but its so worth it. hang in there.
What a story man, I'll give you a little info on weed. It is very tricky substance, it is usually everyone favorite first drug. Where they can smoke as much as they want and always have great time, that is until they experience their first panic attack on it. From then it goes to all bad trips on weed unless you train your self to handle it / enjoy it again. From my experience and research, Drugs like MDMA and or bad trips from psychedelics can change your weed high. I have read wayy too many stories of people doing MDMA, and smoking weed after and getting an anxiety response from weed. And you abused MDMA, so it makes sense that it brought out a panic response. Other drugs can do it as well, like a horrible trip on too many shrooms or LSD but i have seen so many cases with MDMA use/ abuse and bad weed trips.
I think what happens is when you have a brain that is depleted neurotransmitters , it is in a constant depressive / anxious state. And weed amplifies what you are already feeling, so if you have a stress induced brain with anxiety , smoking weed is going to make it that much worse. Your option now is to either not smoke weed anymore at all. Or wait a LONG time until your brain has re balanced neurotransmitters. Or you can smoke , on any dose of a benzo. Lastly, you can try smoking TINY amounts at a time until you learn to handle the experience. When i say tiny i mean literally 1 or 2 drags off a J or pipe. Wait 10 minutes until you feel it completely, if you aren't freaking out take 1 more drag and see how you feel. If you dive in and smoke half a J to your self, or take a big bong rip i am almost certain after 5 min you will be freaking the fuck out.
Best of luck, i can relate to a lot of your experiences although you took them a bit further. Let me know if you have any questions
I think what happens is when you have a brain that is depleted neurotransmitters , it is in a constant depressive / anxious state. And weed amplifies what you are already feeling, so if you have a stress induced brain with anxiety , smoking weed is going to make it that much worse. Your option now is to either not smoke weed anymore at all. Or wait a LONG time until your brain has re balanced neurotransmitters. Or you can smoke , on any dose of a benzo. Lastly, you can try smoking TINY amounts at a time until you learn to handle the experience. When i say tiny i mean literally 1 or 2 drags off a J or pipe. Wait 10 minutes until you feel it completely, if you aren't freaking out take 1 more drag and see how you feel. If you dive in and smoke half a J to your self, or take a big bong rip i am almost certain after 5 min you will be freaking the fuck out.
Best of luck, i can relate to a lot of your experiences although you took them a bit further. Let me know if you have any questions
PurpleKush1
Bluelighter
thanks for the suport neversickanymore. Now the problem is since im medicated i feel better psychologcialy less fear and panic, but im crrrraving to get high. mainly weed,xaxnax,coke or h. Idream about fucking h even though i used it what 10 days everyday and thats it? i just spend thwe day thinking how to get high but i sont feel its right to msoke now....
FINISHED,thanks for the support too Im interested about the benzo part, you say ui can smoke on say .5 mg xanax and i wont feel this panic? I tried with one puff o f aj and went into anxiety attack for like 2 hours...
Maybe smokin hash and not weed would suit me better? i know hat hash doesnt get me in the same place mentall ythan weed, ifeel more of a body high than of a ental high
FINISHED,thanks for the support too Im interested about the benzo part, you say ui can smoke on say .5 mg xanax and i wont feel this panic? I tried with one puff o f aj and went into anxiety attack for like 2 hours...
Maybe smokin hash and not weed would suit me better? i know hat hash doesnt get me in the same place mentall ythan weed, ifeel more of a body high than of a ental high
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may wanna rethink before smoking hash ..i tried it and holy fuck was it misery.you may react differently but i seriously doubt it.why not just have a few beers and chill? why the preoccupation with the weed? you probably have to do like alot of us have had to,and just let the weed go. i was like you and just couldnt let it go i missed the high but the fact was i never could feel like i had before. i tried it probably 20x over the years(since first BAD reaction) and every time was the same..i dont touch it now, i cant even be in a car where people are smoking..a damn contact buzz sends me into panic and digging for a xanax...its like i became allergic to weed...proceed with caution
PurpleKush1
Bluelighter
Udpate : i think a single drag of a j yesterday, my heart started beating faster than after a line of coke, and it was extremely arythmic, while being tachichardic, if that makes sense. I felt reaoly anxious and depersonalised for at least 2 hours. You ask why the preoccupation with weed,i just loved being with friends tokin up muncin some food and watching funny videos you know? i think im going to resort to benzos and lacohol and opiate if i have the chance. but no more weed or stimulants
wow, you really abused a lot of substances there! I'm glad you're on your way to recovery, here are some things that would help:
1. CBT for PTSD
2. Subscribe to neuro science newsletters, reading up on interesting brain stuff will help you divert your crave to abuse into something educational.
3. Go herbal, Valerian, St. John, Ginkgo Biloba
4. Eat Healthy
5. Exercise.
I know they sound cliche, but hey here's how I think about it. I try to give any positive or healthy thing that comes to my mind at least a minute of my life, If I still feel like Its boring and I have no motivation, I let it go. Bring back the motivation in life, buy a book, maybe something interesting to you, biographies on drug use? Same, read just 1 page per day, or give a minute a day.
I wish you all the best, leave a mark on the earth before you go!
1. CBT for PTSD
2. Subscribe to neuro science newsletters, reading up on interesting brain stuff will help you divert your crave to abuse into something educational.
3. Go herbal, Valerian, St. John, Ginkgo Biloba
4. Eat Healthy
5. Exercise.
I know they sound cliche, but hey here's how I think about it. I try to give any positive or healthy thing that comes to my mind at least a minute of my life, If I still feel like Its boring and I have no motivation, I let it go. Bring back the motivation in life, buy a book, maybe something interesting to you, biographies on drug use? Same, read just 1 page per day, or give a minute a day.
I wish you all the best, leave a mark on the earth before you go!
PurpleKush1
Bluelighter
tahnks for the support reyquaz, i tried with the valerian but it does fuck all to calm me down, im used to 5-6 pink xanaxes and a bottle of champagne or a 2l of beer to calm me down.... i try to eat healthy too, its helps a bit. and i need the movitation for exercising
try not to push your brain neurotransmitters into more of a jumble than they already are, good choice on given up the weed and stimulants.. I doubt stimulants will ever work for you again.. blessing in disguise.. be well purpleKush.
Damn man i feel you on that feeling on needing to get high. And also it was real hard for me to give up weed to , because the only people i hung out with were daily smokers so i had to keep smoking other wise no real friends.
If you go into panic attack after 1 single hit off a J, then you must give up weed for a while man. It is just not agreeing with you, if you refuse to give up. The .5mg xanax or other benzo will work, i have smoked hundreds of times on benzos and never a panic attack. I am just worried you will be hooked to benzos . Let me know what you decide
If you go into panic attack after 1 single hit off a J, then you must give up weed for a while man. It is just not agreeing with you, if you refuse to give up. The .5mg xanax or other benzo will work, i have smoked hundreds of times on benzos and never a panic attack. I am just worried you will be hooked to benzos . Let me know what you decide
PurpleKush1
Bluelighter
Thank your for the good wishes, i seriously doubt anything else will work on me except opiates and benzos or ny downers. fuck stimulants
PurpleKush1
Bluelighter
Thats great to know, im already hooked at a certain point on benzos, since this sumemer 2 weeks out of a month im smashed either on benzos mixed with alcohol or benzos + opiates. I love smoking weed, and in my case its the same all my friends are weed smokers. But they are starting to piss me off, yo stop with the pills dawg smoke this its natural, SHUTAFUCKUP datura and amanita muscaria too. You feel meÉ being natural doesnt mean unharmful. Hell my geart beats faster a joint than after a line of coke lol. But im alreay smoewhat hooked on benzos, niot physically because i dont have the suplly but psychologicaly.
kayladelmo
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2012
- Messages
- 66
The same thing happened to me with weed too, after fucking with adderall too much. I stopped everything for about a year and now I smoke weed occasionally and it's fine. I recommend exercise(really works wonders for anxiety), healthy eating and abstaining from drug use if you are worried about your brain being screwed up. Good luck with whatever you choose to do.
yep
PurpleKush1
Bluelighter
thanks for the replies guys....how much do you think i would need to stop the anxiety from weed?
Hi man,
When I read it i was saying myself I could have written exactly the same things ten years ago. For me after many abuses with stim and weed it began after a trip with hawaian shrooms. I took it thinking it was like weed and boom : bad trip. After that i didn't feel cconfortable when smoking weed or taking XTC but continued for the same reasons as you : friends, didn't feel like living without drugs. I insisted for nealy 5 years after that, persuaded that i would be able to control this fucking anxiety. But it only got worse so first i stopped XTC. Then I smoked less and less weed until i realised after 5 years that it was useless : i didn't have any positive effects and it was imossible to controle (i remember too swearing many times that "if i go through this time i swear whatever god you are it is last time" and that i wouldn't want my worst ennemy to feel like that).
Now ten years after i must say I have a good life. But I still miss "the good old time" when i could take whatever drug i wanted. But i tried recently to smoke and i got again the same bad feelings, tacchichardia etc... That's to say I think you won't get back the way it was before but after some time your brain will recover and you will be able to live normally, except for drugs. I tell myself it may have sayed my life (if i didn't OD I surely would have made a good trip to jail) and maybe it will save yours (when i read the combos you made honestly i wondered how you were qtill alive).
For me it was difficult to live with it the first times, i felt more anxious whereas i never felt anxious before and never had a bad trip. It took many time for me to accept the situation (5 years of continuous bad experiences more subborn you die 8). But afterall it could be worse. And I refused opis as i was sure i would stay adicted till the end of my life.
Best regards and sorry for the english not my mother tongue
When I read it i was saying myself I could have written exactly the same things ten years ago. For me after many abuses with stim and weed it began after a trip with hawaian shrooms. I took it thinking it was like weed and boom : bad trip. After that i didn't feel cconfortable when smoking weed or taking XTC but continued for the same reasons as you : friends, didn't feel like living without drugs. I insisted for nealy 5 years after that, persuaded that i would be able to control this fucking anxiety. But it only got worse so first i stopped XTC. Then I smoked less and less weed until i realised after 5 years that it was useless : i didn't have any positive effects and it was imossible to controle (i remember too swearing many times that "if i go through this time i swear whatever god you are it is last time" and that i wouldn't want my worst ennemy to feel like that).
Now ten years after i must say I have a good life. But I still miss "the good old time" when i could take whatever drug i wanted. But i tried recently to smoke and i got again the same bad feelings, tacchichardia etc... That's to say I think you won't get back the way it was before but after some time your brain will recover and you will be able to live normally, except for drugs. I tell myself it may have sayed my life (if i didn't OD I surely would have made a good trip to jail) and maybe it will save yours (when i read the combos you made honestly i wondered how you were qtill alive).
For me it was difficult to live with it the first times, i felt more anxious whereas i never felt anxious before and never had a bad trip. It took many time for me to accept the situation (5 years of continuous bad experiences more subborn you die 8). But afterall it could be worse. And I refused opis as i was sure i would stay adicted till the end of my life.
Best regards and sorry for the english not my mother tongue