PurpleKush1
Bluelighter
Hi everybody, i really need your help here. Before i explain the issue, im gonna give you a little background information of my use of substances :
Currently im 19 years old. At 15 i started smoking weed. From 16 to first few months of 17, i had began using speed ( meth pills), usually swallowed or snorted, as well as occasionally some E. In the summer i tried LSD, mushrooms, mda and ketamine, but didn't abuse them at all. Back to the speed, The first few months it was like a few times a week then the 3 last months preceding my 17th birthday, i took that shit everyday. Starting with 2-3 a day, reaching over 10 a day the month before my b-day. Actually its more like i would eat/ snort 20 pills in 50 hours, then drink and smoke myself to sleep and then repeat the cycle. Over that period i also did coke and ketamine when i had the opportunity and began indulging more heavily in mdma. I was 190 pounds when i was 15, at that point i was 150. At my 17th birthday i combined molly and speed together , had an excellent time until things didn't work out with this girl i had an eye one, partially due to me haven't slept for days and binging on speed and molly, i had trouble talking and being coherent. I remember at the end of the third day i was feeling sucked in my computer and like being in a castle while i was on my basement, very hard to explain.
Anyways, after my birthday, being depressed and having being expelled from school, i went on a two month bender. I started with doing mdma errday for a week, and guess what it stopped working, so i binged 3-4 days at a time on coke and ice ( not pill form this time ), did pcp + mdma combo once which was horrible, smoked crack a few times, smoked weed like a fucking monkey. In the last weeks of that second month, i lost control completely. I didn't care anymore if i would die i actually wished it. Doing lines of ice and coke mixed together while drinking etc etc, I began a psychosis. I thought the police was after me, lived in the dark and crawled on all four members throughout my house, snorted coke and smoked weed under a blanket hidden behind my toilet. One night after again being awake three days, i spent 8 hours in a corner where i could see every issue in which somebody could come, Throwing knives at people i would mistake with a coat, you get the idea. On the 24 th january i was sent to a youth readaptation center. The day before i had taken E, ice, coke,alchol and went running to the park to find a place where no one could see to smoke. As i stopped running and lighted my joint, took a drag and fell on my knees, i started vomiting what later i saw to be blood and i was deaf and blind for one minute. I honestly think i came close to dieing.
After spending 2 months in a very closed and restricted center, being clean because there was no escape. I was prescribed adderall and Seroquel. From then on for almost a whole year i would smoke all day on adderrall (often skipping a day then taking a double dose and mixing it with alcohol half the time) and then smoke after poppin some seroquel to get some sleep. I used coke or speed on weekends but responsibly, as stupid as it seems. I took mdma again but just felt weird and out of place so it just completly turned me off. Alright now 18ths birthday. I had a high dose 2cb trip, which left me a little marked and turned me off street chems for a while. because of the stimulant use i had one tooth with a sever infection, gangrene under another tooth and finally a tooth with a hole so deep in it you could see the nerve. The pain i cannot endure for the life of me is tooth pain. So then began Another 2 month bender, of pain pills, mainly oxycocet, percocet, hydrocodone and cwe codeine, mixing them errtime with weed, less frequently alcohol and very rarely adderal. After that i stopped almost completely my chemical use, liming myself to weed, booze and adderall when i went to work. Now this summer i went to another country, and problems are back.
I took xanax pretty much every day, 3 times of 5 mixing it with alcohol and smoked more and more weed. In November and december 2012, i did quite alot amphet sulfate as well as a little bit of coke. Problem is i very often combine xanax and alcohol with the amphet. Anyways, now is the part i need help about. 20 january 2013, im expelled from work. I'm like fuck that and went on a very bad xanax bender. i ate 90 .5 mg xannies in 2 weeks. At the end of the 2nd week, i tried heroin for the first time (snorted, ive never ived it and smoked it once but didnt like it) while on 2mg xanax and fortunately didn't od. After that i used it pretty much everyday for like 10 days combing with weed + alcohol or weed + leftover xanax, usually very small doses. Now something very bad happened. It was a friday. i woke up snorted a few lines of dope smoked mad weed and decided to test a roll ( http://www.pillreports.com/index.ph...ercent_rating=0&pp=10&submit.x=40&submit.y=10 ). I took half of it starting falling asleep, took another half and bam here we go, i felt good, first time i rolled like that for a long time, for the comedown i had a cup of beer and a joint and passed out watching a movie. 3 days later, i woke up after a heavy day of heroin, and ate that same roll but all the roll. Then i smoked a joint nd half an hour later nothin. Im like wtf rolled a fat one, smoked it, went to my room and BAM. I started coming up very hard, and when i reached the peak of my euphoria i continued going up and up to the point i felt extremely uncomfortable. I spent the next hour sweating extremely, having hot flashes, i had trouble seeing more than a meter in front of me, i had trouble walking, I was trying to throw up, . Then for half an hour i was floored on the bathroom floor, listening to music. After that i had extreme cold waves for like 4 hours with the psychological effect mostly gone . I went to sleep like at 4 in the morning, next day woke up ate some xanax and didnt feel that bad honestly.
I had a flight 2 days after that so just before flying, smoked a fat joint and then it started, waves of panic, a horrible feeling like if im going to die. I ate another xanax and drank myself to black out on the plane, when i landed i continued drinking and went to sleep. I stayed there for a week. 50 % of the time especially the first days when i smoked weed i had flashbacks and that sinking panic feeling for like a few minutes, then it went away. And now the most bizzare part i canot explain for the life of me. Before leaving to the airport back to the country im in, I smoked a 2.5 gram joint. Alone. When i wnet back inside everything was good, until my heart started beating like crazy and i actually had to make myself throw up a feew times, i jerked off, i ate despite having vomited just to kill the high, which after 2 hours faded away. At the airport everything went smoothly. And from here, my friends, starts the real shit. In the plane that feeling of hot flash, of panick and confusion came back stronger than before, stronger than during the roll. Im a person who is very very afraid of planes, i hoped the plane would crash so i could just stop this feeling. I know most flight attendants have benzos on board for panic attacks, but they fooled with me and gave me fucking gravol (dimenhydrate), idiots. I ate half a pills had a drink and ultimately dosed off. WHen i arrived i felt pretty normal. Went back home, smoke a joint and felt good. Smoked another and felt better. Another one. And then at the 4th one, i took a few drags and immediatly to the bathroom when i began to have the worst trip of my life.
I always was able to over come bad trips, i had very good control on my self in general. But this time nothing helped, this sense of terror and feeling im dying wouldn't go away it got that bad that i went to the hospital, were the fucking idiot of a doctor prescribed me valerian pills and hydroxizyne.Even after taking the pills and going home i was crying, feeling i was just going crazy. It was this sunday. Since then until today i cannot function normally, all day i feel normal 5 minutes, then i have this waves of panic accompanied by a very strong sense of depersonalisation and derealisation I stopped all drugs inculding weed. I took 10 mg diazepam IM now and it calmed me down a bit but i still dont feel good and cant really sleep well. I took one drag of a joint today, and directly hot flashes and 2 hours in the toilet rocking back and forth crying trying to calm myself down. Of ONE FUCKING drag. I also forgot to say that since that 2.5 g joint before leaving the airport, i vomited at home, in the airport , in my home back in the country im in and i feel like my stomach is fucked up, i cant eat at all. I would like to say thank you to whoever read this post, and please my friends if you have any ideas what could i do to get myself out of it tell me . I cant live like that, i would never wish that to anybody, not even my worser enemy. Also note that in group of friends i was always the one whoe smoked the most, i used to smoke between a quarter and half oz of bud alone a day. I dont get what happened in my head. Any suggestions or responses will be very helpful.
Currently im 19 years old. At 15 i started smoking weed. From 16 to first few months of 17, i had began using speed ( meth pills), usually swallowed or snorted, as well as occasionally some E. In the summer i tried LSD, mushrooms, mda and ketamine, but didn't abuse them at all. Back to the speed, The first few months it was like a few times a week then the 3 last months preceding my 17th birthday, i took that shit everyday. Starting with 2-3 a day, reaching over 10 a day the month before my b-day. Actually its more like i would eat/ snort 20 pills in 50 hours, then drink and smoke myself to sleep and then repeat the cycle. Over that period i also did coke and ketamine when i had the opportunity and began indulging more heavily in mdma. I was 190 pounds when i was 15, at that point i was 150. At my 17th birthday i combined molly and speed together , had an excellent time until things didn't work out with this girl i had an eye one, partially due to me haven't slept for days and binging on speed and molly, i had trouble talking and being coherent. I remember at the end of the third day i was feeling sucked in my computer and like being in a castle while i was on my basement, very hard to explain.
Anyways, after my birthday, being depressed and having being expelled from school, i went on a two month bender. I started with doing mdma errday for a week, and guess what it stopped working, so i binged 3-4 days at a time on coke and ice ( not pill form this time ), did pcp + mdma combo once which was horrible, smoked crack a few times, smoked weed like a fucking monkey. In the last weeks of that second month, i lost control completely. I didn't care anymore if i would die i actually wished it. Doing lines of ice and coke mixed together while drinking etc etc, I began a psychosis. I thought the police was after me, lived in the dark and crawled on all four members throughout my house, snorted coke and smoked weed under a blanket hidden behind my toilet. One night after again being awake three days, i spent 8 hours in a corner where i could see every issue in which somebody could come, Throwing knives at people i would mistake with a coat, you get the idea. On the 24 th january i was sent to a youth readaptation center. The day before i had taken E, ice, coke,alchol and went running to the park to find a place where no one could see to smoke. As i stopped running and lighted my joint, took a drag and fell on my knees, i started vomiting what later i saw to be blood and i was deaf and blind for one minute. I honestly think i came close to dieing.
After spending 2 months in a very closed and restricted center, being clean because there was no escape. I was prescribed adderall and Seroquel. From then on for almost a whole year i would smoke all day on adderrall (often skipping a day then taking a double dose and mixing it with alcohol half the time) and then smoke after poppin some seroquel to get some sleep. I used coke or speed on weekends but responsibly, as stupid as it seems. I took mdma again but just felt weird and out of place so it just completly turned me off. Alright now 18ths birthday. I had a high dose 2cb trip, which left me a little marked and turned me off street chems for a while. because of the stimulant use i had one tooth with a sever infection, gangrene under another tooth and finally a tooth with a hole so deep in it you could see the nerve. The pain i cannot endure for the life of me is tooth pain. So then began Another 2 month bender, of pain pills, mainly oxycocet, percocet, hydrocodone and cwe codeine, mixing them errtime with weed, less frequently alcohol and very rarely adderal. After that i stopped almost completely my chemical use, liming myself to weed, booze and adderall when i went to work. Now this summer i went to another country, and problems are back.
I took xanax pretty much every day, 3 times of 5 mixing it with alcohol and smoked more and more weed. In November and december 2012, i did quite alot amphet sulfate as well as a little bit of coke. Problem is i very often combine xanax and alcohol with the amphet. Anyways, now is the part i need help about. 20 january 2013, im expelled from work. I'm like fuck that and went on a very bad xanax bender. i ate 90 .5 mg xannies in 2 weeks. At the end of the 2nd week, i tried heroin for the first time (snorted, ive never ived it and smoked it once but didnt like it) while on 2mg xanax and fortunately didn't od. After that i used it pretty much everyday for like 10 days combing with weed + alcohol or weed + leftover xanax, usually very small doses. Now something very bad happened. It was a friday. i woke up snorted a few lines of dope smoked mad weed and decided to test a roll ( http://www.pillreports.com/index.ph...ercent_rating=0&pp=10&submit.x=40&submit.y=10 ). I took half of it starting falling asleep, took another half and bam here we go, i felt good, first time i rolled like that for a long time, for the comedown i had a cup of beer and a joint and passed out watching a movie. 3 days later, i woke up after a heavy day of heroin, and ate that same roll but all the roll. Then i smoked a joint nd half an hour later nothin. Im like wtf rolled a fat one, smoked it, went to my room and BAM. I started coming up very hard, and when i reached the peak of my euphoria i continued going up and up to the point i felt extremely uncomfortable. I spent the next hour sweating extremely, having hot flashes, i had trouble seeing more than a meter in front of me, i had trouble walking, I was trying to throw up, . Then for half an hour i was floored on the bathroom floor, listening to music. After that i had extreme cold waves for like 4 hours with the psychological effect mostly gone . I went to sleep like at 4 in the morning, next day woke up ate some xanax and didnt feel that bad honestly.
I had a flight 2 days after that so just before flying, smoked a fat joint and then it started, waves of panic, a horrible feeling like if im going to die. I ate another xanax and drank myself to black out on the plane, when i landed i continued drinking and went to sleep. I stayed there for a week. 50 % of the time especially the first days when i smoked weed i had flashbacks and that sinking panic feeling for like a few minutes, then it went away. And now the most bizzare part i canot explain for the life of me. Before leaving to the airport back to the country im in, I smoked a 2.5 gram joint. Alone. When i wnet back inside everything was good, until my heart started beating like crazy and i actually had to make myself throw up a feew times, i jerked off, i ate despite having vomited just to kill the high, which after 2 hours faded away. At the airport everything went smoothly. And from here, my friends, starts the real shit. In the plane that feeling of hot flash, of panick and confusion came back stronger than before, stronger than during the roll. Im a person who is very very afraid of planes, i hoped the plane would crash so i could just stop this feeling. I know most flight attendants have benzos on board for panic attacks, but they fooled with me and gave me fucking gravol (dimenhydrate), idiots. I ate half a pills had a drink and ultimately dosed off. WHen i arrived i felt pretty normal. Went back home, smoke a joint and felt good. Smoked another and felt better. Another one. And then at the 4th one, i took a few drags and immediatly to the bathroom when i began to have the worst trip of my life.
I always was able to over come bad trips, i had very good control on my self in general. But this time nothing helped, this sense of terror and feeling im dying wouldn't go away it got that bad that i went to the hospital, were the fucking idiot of a doctor prescribed me valerian pills and hydroxizyne.Even after taking the pills and going home i was crying, feeling i was just going crazy. It was this sunday. Since then until today i cannot function normally, all day i feel normal 5 minutes, then i have this waves of panic accompanied by a very strong sense of depersonalisation and derealisation I stopped all drugs inculding weed. I took 10 mg diazepam IM now and it calmed me down a bit but i still dont feel good and cant really sleep well. I took one drag of a joint today, and directly hot flashes and 2 hours in the toilet rocking back and forth crying trying to calm myself down. Of ONE FUCKING drag. I also forgot to say that since that 2.5 g joint before leaving the airport, i vomited at home, in the airport , in my home back in the country im in and i feel like my stomach is fucked up, i cant eat at all. I would like to say thank you to whoever read this post, and please my friends if you have any ideas what could i do to get myself out of it tell me . I cant live like that, i would never wish that to anybody, not even my worser enemy. Also note that in group of friends i was always the one whoe smoked the most, i used to smoke between a quarter and half oz of bud alone a day. I dont get what happened in my head. Any suggestions or responses will be very helpful.
. I would lay off all drugs until you are able to piece it together.
so you say i can drink on those? my fear is to start tripping out again like after smoking weed. what is the worst i can expect in drinking lets say amoderat amount of beer, 2l for exxample, and taking 10 mg olanzapine?