I need answers now

3 months and about 25 days ago I cold turkeyed benzos and didn't have to much of a problem until I went to a friends and bought some 'lean'. I drank a good portion and it sent me into a spiraling trip over night which gave me lucid nightmares. I woke up the next day not feeling right at all. Not to mention I was horribly sick from whatever I consumed. Ever since that day I've been dealing with symptoms of delusion and depersonalization. I just haven't felt like myself since before that day. I can't help feeling like I've caused serious damage to myself and it really sucks because this is a weird topic to bring to a doctor and I know even if I did they would not have the answer. The kid I bought it from is also known for a big spice problem so I'm really worried that he put spice in the drink or something .I'm wondering if there is anybody out there who dealt with a similar situation and have found a solution. I'm just an innocent kid and now I feel like I've lost everything.