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I Love the Sound of Breaking Balls in the Morning: Unwanted Sexual Attention

BecomingJulie

BecomingJulie

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As a counter to this awful thread, I thought that, in the name of sisterly solidarity, I would start a thread for sharing your experiences of unwanted sexual attention from sleazy little men -- or, seeing as this is the 21st century and men don't actually have a monopoly on obnoxious behaviour, possibly even your experiences of unwanted sexual attention from women -- and how you dealt with it.

I find it especially problematic, since if some man is wolf-whistling me or calling me "darling" then he clearly is at least accepting me as a woman -- although he is still going beyond the bounds of what constitutes Any of His Bloody Business by drawing attention to what he thinks of me. I certainly would rather be called "darling" than "sir", even although I know I shouldn't have to put up with it.

I suppose, coming back to the old amplifier fetish, it's as though I'm adjusting the volume for a certain level of power hum and static in the background with no music playing ..... taking for granted that there is inevitably going to be unwanted noise alongside the wanted signal, and just lying down and putting up with it like an obedient little wifey :X

Anyway, sisters, feel free to share your reports of any sexist douchebags you have encountered ..... and especially any you have brought crashing down!
 
It's a basic biological drive that causes men to find the female form attractive. And if some females choose to wear clothes that accentuate their bodies; tight jeans, tight short skirts, tight or revealing tops etc then some men are going to find it difficult not to look. Of course there is a huge difference between looking, and staring, even worse leching / perving, worst still making crude sexual comments. As a young man I loved any attention I got from females, but the attention from gay men wasn't as welcome. Some of the comments and leching coming from men can be unpleasant to be on the receiving end of say the least.

To counter any likely comments about being hypocritical or dishonest i have to admit to having the occasional lech myself from time to time, but i know it's not a nice or pleasant way to conduct yourself, it's cheapening yourself as well as the "object" of your desire, and I've noticed that females really do appreciate it, if you keep your glances 'admiring' rather than 'lecherous.' Lust is one of the 7 deadly sins after all, but so is gluttony, and both are biologically driven.

One confident young woman did take me to task for dropping my standards one day and openly oggling her on the street, she turned round and loudly and angrily called me a "TART". :o Unfortunately she chose the wrong word imo, and she would have had more effect if she'd used a more accurate one like "LECH" or "PERV"! I'm sure that would have caused me to change my behaviour at least for a while. My mate also got called a "tart" for oggling women on a night out, which makes me wonder if there is some difference in the meaning of the word "tart" between males and females, which seems a bit strange:? I mean, for me a "tart" is someone who is very deliberately and provocatively trying to draw sexual attention to themselves, but I would never openly insult anyone for acting like that even if i did privately think it. There are far worse sins than that, i guess some of those women and men that do that are just a little insecure about something or other.
 
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Is the word 'darling' actually seen as offensive?
That is a serious question as I use it very frequently, it is never meant in any way other than casually slightly endearing.
 
SproutOnSmack said:
Is the word 'darling' actually seen as offensive?
That is a serious question as I use it very frequently, it is never meant in any way other than casually slightly endearing.
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Some people consider the use of terms of endearment to be over-familiarity, therefore impolite. Context is everything -- it is always going to sound creepy when a sweaty old man is projecting his fantasies onto you and evidently enjoying it, but some people don't object to terms of endearment used in the right way by the right person.

Beside which, I get the impression just from you having asked this, that you would be paying attention and if you thought you had said something inappropriate, you would immediately back up, apologise and try not to do it again. Which, at the end of the day, is all a human being can reasonably be expected to do. And treating women like human beings is basically the point of feminism.
 
Bob Funkhouse said:
Ffs catch yourself on. Wats the matter with a guy looking for no strings attached sex with a woman who is looking for the same thing....and talked about in a humorous way (including self depreciating humour).
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Actually Bob, this is a very serious subject matter and I myself am currently suffering from unwanted sexual advances from a female. Aye, every night the Mrs tries to grab my cock =D

(Sorry Julie, just thought I'd get the unwanted noise out of the way... )
 
Bob Funkhouse said:
I know yer only making a joke.
But it is a serious or can be a serious matter i e. Unwanted sexual advances and objectification of women etc. I agree with Julie about that side of things. (Though she does seem to describe things in an almost sexist manner eg sleazy little men and sweaty old men.)

I just disagree with her stance regarding that Internet hook up thread.
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Whose fuckin' joking? ;)
 
Bob Funkhouse said:
(Though she does seem to describe things in an almost sexist manner eg sleazy little men and sweaty old men.)
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I almost choked on the irony, to be honest. Some of the other comments in the OP, along with the thread title, would cause outrage if the genders were switched. Totally unnecessary.
 
Julie from your posts I kinda gather that you generally hate men, as a gender. Which to even have a broad opinion of a gender is fucking stupid. Back to the thread, an older kid, used to keep me locked up in his house, while he touched my dick, and woukd put gay porn on when I was like 10. He's a copper now.
 
Bob Funkhouse said:
But it is a serious or can be a serious matter i e. Unwanted sexual advances and objectification of women etc. I agree with Julie about that side of things. (Though she does seem to describe things in an almost sexist manner eg sleazy little men and sweaty old men.)
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O.K., I'll admit that probably was a teeny weeny bit biased. But I honestly don't know what adjectives to use to describe the women who commit violence and sex crimes, because that's all so well hidden. What sort of a man gets beaten up by a woman? You must have done something to provoke her. What do you mean, you weren't in the mood for sex? You're a man, aren't you -- how can you not be in the mood for sex? What was wrong with you? Who's going to believe you? ..... It probably was your fault after all. Best just say nothing and hope it goes away, eh .....?
HouseFever said:
Julie from your posts I kinda gather that you generally hate men, as a gender. Which to even have a broad opinion of a gender is fucking stupid.
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#NotAllMen :\
HouseFever said:
Back to the thread, an older kid, used to keep me locked up in his house, while he touched my dick, and woukd put gay porn on when I was like 10. He's a copper now.
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That is terrible. Do you know whether he is still getting up to that sort of behaviour today? Because if so, he needs to be stopped.
 
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I can't get my head around disliking a gender more than another, when sexuality is taken out of the question also. Really, who holds such narrow opinions on a whole gender. Unless you are elegantly trolling. I have a penis, I don't know if you have a penis? Obviously gender is way more complex than whats in-between your thighs. And I thought you would not hold such weird view points on a particular gender. I could just start making ridiculous comments on people going through sex changes. Just because your doing your thing, don't give you a higher level of understanding or in your case a total shit storm complex of a fucking gender.
 
i think feminine consciousness has been hurt by the macho western society in the past, and now it is trying to retaliate in a sense, by pushing the boundary further again.

when really, better than hating men, or a patriarchy which isn't relevant in modern society, is just treating people as human beings, not pushing stereotypes or generalisations.
 
I don't hate men.

I do have a problem, though, with anyone treating women as less than fully human.

If you're feeling righteous indignation that people like that exist at all for you to be lumped in with, and I am not lumping you in with them; I start off giving everyone the benefit of the doubt until they show me why they do not deserve it, we could probably get on fine together.
 
BecomingJulie said:
I don't hate men.

I do have a problem, though, with anyone treating women as less than fully human.

If you're feeling righteous indignation that people like that exist at all for you to be lumped in with, and I am not lumping you in with them; I start off giving everyone the benefit of the doubt until they show me why they do not deserve it, we could probably get on fine together.
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Most people agree that treating another person as sub human isn't accepteble in society. Male to female, vice versa. I am not feeling righteous indignation, thats you assuming. I am no different to you. I'm trying to understand your views. I'm not the one constantly moaning at how horrible 21st century men are. What are you giving me the benifet of doubt over? If I am one of these males you describe? If so lol. Don't fucking bother giving me the benifet of the doubt. If it means proving myself within the realms of your gender geometry. Jeez.
 
TBF Julie, I can throw my punches. And I'm not proud of the fact that when I went through post partal depression I was pretty much a bitch!

I don't agree with violence on either side of gender.

I'll also admit to getting an eyeful when women dress in a certain way. I've even been on the phone to Shambles on many occasion saying " you would not believe what I just saw" Some outfits were exactly made to be seen!!!!!!

Men don't tend to wear outrageous outfits but when they do, I totally comment on that as well!
 
I'm more concerned that you eat Greggs!

Says the girl who is totally gonna demolish a subway today! =D

Yes, thread was derailed.
 
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