One Thousand Words
Bluelighter
Started by a *beep*. You can't get more first world than that
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I Love the Sound of Breaking Balls in the Morning: Unwanted Sexual Attention
- Thread starter BecomingJulie
- Start date
curious_24
Bluelighter
*beep*? Seems there's a conflict of interests here.
Because a lot of men are physically stronger than most females it can be intimidating if you are approached by a man cause there's always that "what if he wanted to do something, he probably could" moment for me. That's not to say I don't trust all men but I've always kept my wits about me. Just last week and this week I've found myself feeling uncomfortable in a couple of situations. The easiest example (and less fucked up) to explain is: On the bus this big guy asks about the indian we were passing and if its any good - totally normal question so we get talking and he came and sat next to me. However it unravelled that this guy was a bit unhinged, and pervy it's difficult to explain but he began by slapping my arm mid convo a few times which was cool but then after a while he progressed to try to stroke/tickle me (in the same joking manner) then tried to feel my belly/tit/s so I had to literally push him off me and get off at a different stop. He started off slapping my arm then stroking and trying to tickle me so he was calculated plus just the stuff he was saying overall. The worrying thing too is that I look pretty young for my age - im 24 but can pass on the bus as a half (16) and when he asked my age and I told him he said he thought I was only like 15. This guy was like 40+. Wish I had clicked on sooner and found out who he was. Dirty fucker.
I hate some guys who try to intimidate you through acting hard and trying to scare you - big turn off for me now, even if it used to attract me for some fucked up reason in the past. But since then I've been with (but sadly lost) a real man who treated me right (he also called me darling n I liked it tbh because I knew he loved me) so now I know what to look for and the warning signs to avoid.
IMO I think it's natural for men to want to look just like I can appreciate looking at a nice body (female or male) - as long as you don't make the person feel uncomfortable or intimidated then I suppose it doesn't matter that much to me. Some guys (at least that I know) do take this too far it's almost like a power/ego/show-off thing like "look at me, you know you want this -darling." ... or "Get your rat out tae a pump ye"... Eh naw yer ok there pal, think i'll pass and keep my eye open for a real man who treats woman as respectable individuals
I hate some guys who try to intimidate you through acting hard and trying to scare you - big turn off for me now, even if it used to attract me for some fucked up reason in the past. But since then I've been with (but sadly lost) a real man who treated me right (he also called me darling n I liked it tbh because I knew he loved me) so now I know what to look for and the warning signs to avoid.
IMO I think it's natural for men to want to look just like I can appreciate looking at a nice body (female or male) - as long as you don't make the person feel uncomfortable or intimidated then I suppose it doesn't matter that much to me. Some guys (at least that I know) do take this too far it's almost like a power/ego/show-off thing like "look at me, you know you want this -darling." ... or "Get your rat out tae a pump ye"... Eh naw yer ok there pal, think i'll pass and keep my eye open for a real man who treats woman as respectable individuals
Thanks Bob 
^
Like a lot of others I have a hard time trusting anyone in general no matter the gender but I feel like it's tough when someone has a physical/emotional advantage over you (whatever that may be) and takes advantage of this - again not saying all men (or woman) do this but when they do there always seems to be a power/control thing behind it e.g. sorry to hear about what happened to the poster earlier in the thread - well seeing the beast is a copper now.
p.s. im not very good at putting thoughts in to words so sorry if I don't make sense/rambling
^ Like a lot of others I have a hard time trusting anyone in general no matter the gender but I feel like it's tough when someone has a physical/emotional advantage over you (whatever that may be) and takes advantage of this - again not saying all men (or woman) do this but when they do there always seems to be a power/control thing behind it e.g. sorry to hear about what happened to the poster earlier in the thread - well seeing the beast is a copper now.
p.s. im not very good at putting thoughts in to words so sorry if I don't make sense/rambling
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One Thousand Words
Bluelighter
Okay Julie I'll bite. While I don't doubt you suffer immeasurable discrimination in your life as a transgender, you can't for one minute be seriously comparing your problems to the women of the world. Wolf whistling and cat calling is not only uncomfortable for women. Take a walk down any street with less cooth, and often drunken men, most people be them male or female, will receive unwanted attention. Wear the wrong clothes or even holding the hand of a pretty woman is often an open invitation for louts to yell and cause a scene. However don't think that this is not a pinch on the types of discrimination that women experience just by being born with a vagina.
There is the tendency for girls to be excluded from male dominated sports from an early age, even if they show enough ability to compete ably with the boys. There is the pressure to prove themselves because of preconceived ideas that they are weaker or lack natural skills usually attributed to men in many occupations, particularly male dominated trades. Then there is the struggles in the workforce to secure jobs because they are expected to eventually take time of due to pregnancy as well as discriminatory slut shaming and other such moral standards that women are held to that even transgender women would not be exposed to. Often these standards are imposed unfairly by other women against each other.
There is the tendency for girls to be excluded from male dominated sports from an early age, even if they show enough ability to compete ably with the boys. There is the pressure to prove themselves because of preconceived ideas that they are weaker or lack natural skills usually attributed to men in many occupations, particularly male dominated trades. Then there is the struggles in the workforce to secure jobs because they are expected to eventually take time of due to pregnancy as well as discriminatory slut shaming and other such moral standards that women are held to that even transgender women would not be exposed to. Often these standards are imposed unfairly by other women against each other.
For me it the usual flippant comments that annoy me the most - from women 'are you sure', 'what a waste', 'you don't know what your missing', 'let me show you' etc. Some harmless flirting is fine (I quite enjoy a compliment) but when it crosses the line (male or female) it just bores, then annoys me.
One Thousand Words
Bluelighter
Unwanted sexual attention ain't the half of the inequality females face on this planet. Apart from getting our bums pinched, random slagging and come-ons, public slagging and sexual taunting, judged on appearance and sexual history. Let's consider;
Female genital mutalation
Lower pay - gender income disparity
The "glass ceiling" in career ambition
Rape and sexual violence
Domestic abuse
Male dominated business and politics
Sexual assault on university and collage campuses
Honour based crimes
The burka and female enslavement - not allowed to drive etc
Maternal deaths - birthing is a shit deal
Trafficking and sex slavery
Forced marriages
Child care
Access to education and health care
Household and home care work
Etc
Gender inequality is still an issue. Whether the majority of male posters here see and get that... What's disappointing here is the lack of awareness and understanding that it is an issue. For a bunch of fellow druggies I expected more of all of you...
My bad.
As for the reaction to Julie posting this, I'm shocked. How fucking dare you all have such disrespect for someone who allows us the privilege of her transformation, insight into a perfectly human experience and gender difficulties. Has anyone considered her awareness of what becoming Julie actually means rightly entering and being in the female world?
No you didn't - bad on all you who slagged off this thread.
First world problems my arse, this is still a global problem and still evident in western so called civilised societies.
I used to run, keen to do 5k and 10 charity races. Nearly every time I went out running I'd receive catcalls, shouting from cars and vans, even to the extend they'd slow down and tail me so they could pass on sexual and derogary comments about my looks, breasts or lack of smile. What the fuck...
Like too many of us we have many incidents like that, stories to tell. But we don't, not here especially where females are few.
Female genital mutalation
Lower pay - gender income disparity
The "glass ceiling" in career ambition
Rape and sexual violence
Domestic abuse
Male dominated business and politics
Sexual assault on university and collage campuses
Honour based crimes
The burka and female enslavement - not allowed to drive etc
Maternal deaths - birthing is a shit deal
Trafficking and sex slavery
Forced marriages
Child care
Access to education and health care
Household and home care work
Etc
Gender inequality is still an issue. Whether the majority of male posters here see and get that... What's disappointing here is the lack of awareness and understanding that it is an issue. For a bunch of fellow druggies I expected more of all of you...
My bad.
As for the reaction to Julie posting this, I'm shocked. How fucking dare you all have such disrespect for someone who allows us the privilege of her transformation, insight into a perfectly human experience and gender difficulties. Has anyone considered her awareness of what becoming Julie actually means rightly entering and being in the female world?
No you didn't - bad on all you who slagged off this thread.
First world problems my arse, this is still a global problem and still evident in western so called civilised societies.
I used to run, keen to do 5k and 10 charity races. Nearly every time I went out running I'd receive catcalls, shouting from cars and vans, even to the extend they'd slow down and tail me so they could pass on sexual and derogary comments about my looks, breasts or lack of smile. What the fuck...
Like too many of us we have many incidents like that, stories to tell. But we don't, not here especially where females are few.
THECATINTHEHAT
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 17, 2005
- Messages
- 8,186
The issues women face in life are about a thousand times more recognised and respected than the issues men face.
THECATINTHEHAT
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 17, 2005
- Messages
- 8,186
Most likely to be a victim of violent crime
Most likely to commit suicide
Male genital mutilation
Most likely to be homeless
Male body issues
Most likely to suffer from drug and alcohol addiction
Most likely to be a casualty of war (civilian or otherwise)
Just a few as starters...
Women for sure have a wider range of issues to deal with and I am in no way discounting the seriousness or need to address any of them. I'm just maing the point that they are generally much more widely recognised and acted upon whereas when something bad happens to a man on the whole no-one gives a shit.
Most likely to commit suicide
Male genital mutilation
Most likely to be homeless
Male body issues
Most likely to suffer from drug and alcohol addiction
Most likely to be a casualty of war (civilian or otherwise)
Just a few as starters...
Women for sure have a wider range of issues to deal with and I am in no way discounting the seriousness or need to address any of them. I'm just maing the point that they are generally much more widely recognised and acted upon whereas when something bad happens to a man on the whole no-one gives a shit.
High horse much! I have commented in this thread about unwanted sexual attention received as a gay man, have I ever shown a lack of respect to Julie or anyone for that matter?
To throw out a list including rape, genital mutilation, sexual abuse, domestic abuse, slavery, forced marriages, honor based crimes, etc and say that its a female problem is just as ignorant as saying people don't understand what 'becoming julie' means.
Sexual taunting based on looks - you honestly think this is only a female problem?
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
One Thousand Words
Bluelighter
I had a bloke start masturbating next to me at the urinal.
Rather than get my panties in a tangle I zipped up and walked away thinking, "Still got it"
Rather than get my panties in a tangle I zipped up and walked away thinking, "Still got it"
Tangerine Dream
Bluelighter
I look forward to summer when I can wear sunglasses that hide where my eyes wonder... Is that bad? I've never cat called or whatever. Just appreciating the female form
Don't get me wrong I don't stare for too long. I've always considered myself to be a bit of a gent, have manners, open doors for ladies and the like. But apparently that's now not even PC. I blame natzi-femenists and the nanny state, also Fox News and the hissing goose down by the pond.
On a more serious note, If I was a woman I think I'd appreciate being noticed in the right situation by the right people. But equally I can see how it could be threatening or embarrassing or just unwarranted/unnecessary... depends on a lot of factors I guess, such as frame of mind, place, clothes worn, time, the people cat calling etc.
Of course I wouldn't know for sure unless I was a woman, so the above is simply guess work.
Don't get me wrong I don't stare for too long. I've always considered myself to be a bit of a gent, have manners, open doors for ladies and the like. But apparently that's now not even PC. I blame natzi-femenists and the nanny state, also Fox News and the hissing goose down by the pond.
On a more serious note, If I was a woman I think I'd appreciate being noticed in the right situation by the right people. But equally I can see how it could be threatening or embarrassing or just unwarranted/unnecessary... depends on a lot of factors I guess, such as frame of mind, place, clothes worn, time, the people cat calling etc.
Of course I wouldn't know for sure unless I was a woman, so the above is simply guess work.
hisredrighthand
Greenlighter
- Joined
- May 12, 2015
- Messages
- 20
Mandatory military serviceTHECATINTHEHAT said:
About 10 times more likely to be incarcerated
More likely to be the victim of blood vengeance
Threads like this one
KingOfWessex
Bluelighter
I genuinely believe it's something that both sexes suffer from throughout their life's.
My younger brother is a very open gay man now but throughout his teenage years suffered many forms of abuse from rape to blackmail about his sexual orientation. It doesn't just happen to women, or to straight people.
As a lady, I appreciate both the male and female form. I would be lying if I said I never ever oogle men. I am the first to wiggle my eyebrows at work mates when an attractive man comes into the shop. There's a fine line between appreciating someone's looks and forcing your attraction on someone. A week ago a man walked into my fav bar and walked straight up to me without a word and started running his hands through my hair. He proceeded to block me into my seat whilst he stood at the bar and try to put his hands on my thighs and tweek my nose (absolute creeeeeeeeep). He was very drunk and it still doesn't excuse how uncomfortable he made me feel. Even when I moved to the other side of the bar and broke down in tears because he had freaked me out he was still trying to follow me. As he left his young son piped up "he thinks you're his daughter" I'm not sure if that was what sickened me more. That this man thought I was his daughter so he could put his hands all over me?
I don't think it's fair to say only woman suffer from sexual abuse/cat calling etc. It's something all sexes/sexual orientations suffer from. And I believe men suffer more so and keep silent about it because of the horrible stigma they receive when they open up. Sure a month or so ago people were openly joking about a man being raped at gunpoint, had that been a woman there would have been outrage.
My younger brother is a very open gay man now but throughout his teenage years suffered many forms of abuse from rape to blackmail about his sexual orientation. It doesn't just happen to women, or to straight people.
As a lady, I appreciate both the male and female form. I would be lying if I said I never ever oogle men. I am the first to wiggle my eyebrows at work mates when an attractive man comes into the shop. There's a fine line between appreciating someone's looks and forcing your attraction on someone. A week ago a man walked into my fav bar and walked straight up to me without a word and started running his hands through my hair. He proceeded to block me into my seat whilst he stood at the bar and try to put his hands on my thighs and tweek my nose (absolute creeeeeeeeep). He was very drunk and it still doesn't excuse how uncomfortable he made me feel. Even when I moved to the other side of the bar and broke down in tears because he had freaked me out he was still trying to follow me. As he left his young son piped up "he thinks you're his daughter" I'm not sure if that was what sickened me more. That this man thought I was his daughter so he could put his hands all over me?
I don't think it's fair to say only woman suffer from sexual abuse/cat calling etc. It's something all sexes/sexual orientations suffer from. And I believe men suffer more so and keep silent about it because of the horrible stigma they receive when they open up. Sure a month or so ago people were openly joking about a man being raped at gunpoint, had that been a woman there would have been outrage.
curious_24
Bluelighter
Well fucking said. The world can be a nasty place, irrespective of whether you're rocking a dick or a vag.
Fuck this women's/men's rights stuff. It should be about people's rights.
Fuck this women's/men's rights stuff. It should be about people's rights.
Exactly. I don't think we should fight over who gets it worse, men or females or what have you, we should be stepping up to acknowledge it is a universal thing that happens to everyone and breach it there.
Everyone deserves respect and compassion. Unfortunately there are a lot of people in the world who pray on the vunerable (and strong) and they are the issue.
I often wonder why straight women think its ok to say - such a waste, are you sure, Ill show you a good time etc when you tell them your gay. Or people ask, who's the woman :D
I think it may be different in a lot of gay bars / clubs as a lot of guys almost expect to get hit on in the toilets etc - yes its unwanted but its not really offensive (to me anyway). Being hassled in the street about my sexuality is always a negative situation - but then again I honestly think that Alright darling is easier to manage than faggot.
I think it may be different in a lot of gay bars / clubs as a lot of guys almost expect to get hit on in the toilets etc - yes its unwanted but its not really offensive (to me anyway). Being hassled in the street about my sexuality is always a negative situation - but then again I honestly think that Alright darling is easier to manage than faggot.