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I just need to post Vs. wisdom, beauty, and baggage.. here hold this bag and ponder.

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So how can you ease her fear and make her feel really good.. not cheesy but something cool? she is probably freaking allot because of the midterm stress as well..

How about giving her something to look forward to on saturday.. plan something sick for saturday and let her know about some of it but then keep some special things as surprises?
 
^this is good advice
i just use people close to me though so if i'm ever in a relationship again i'm sure she'll be in it for the same reasons as me sadly
 
^^ That's what I said and she told me not to downplay her feelings. I tried reminding her that feelings aren't facts. I don't know.

She's freaking out about the future. She doesn't see how we can work out aparently because she's in school and I'm not and she doesn't see how we can put the pices together in the future for it to all work out. Basically she's future tripping. I don't know how to fix that. It's not a matter of showing her how much I love her. It's a matter of showing her that she needs to stop worrying about the future and taking this one day at a time. I've told her that if it ends now, out of fear, we're going to spend the rest of our lives wondering what could have been. There's no way we can know what's going to happen and I want nothing more than to find out with her. I don't know what else to say. Fuck.
 
I don't think she believes I can take care of her in the future. Aparently she doesn't believe im going to be able to get through school and get a real job or something. I don't know, that;s what i got from her last message. I'm fucking heart broken right now I'm almost certain she's about to say we're through and it will have been out of nothing but fear. she's going to fucking break up with me over future tripping.
 
She has 8 months sober.

I don't want to just tell her i love her and give her space because she will see that as me giving up and then she will really have no faith. Sorry, you're right you guys don't need my relationship drama. I'll stop.

Thanks.
 
caseface99 said:
She has 8 months sober.

I don't want to just tell her i love her and give her space because she will see that as me giving up and then she will really have no faith. Sorry, you're right you guys don't need my relationship drama. I'll stop.

Thanks.
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I don't think NSA was saying he didn't want to hear it, just that he wouldn't put up with it himself.
 
Thanks wabit.. that is what i was referring to.. But since she is in recovery it sounds like she is under allot of stress and is slipping out of the moment.. when we slip out of today, early in recovery and we slip into to tomorrow we can get hit with apprehension, fear, hopelessness, anxiety, anger, frustration, stress.. maybe just advise her to slip back into today and just focus on doing the next right thing, tell her that you love her immensely and will see her on friday.. if she is already out of sorts then adding more worry and pressure isn't the best thing for her or her sobriety.
 
you could send her some really good delivery food when she get hungry..

and despite what i say i do put up with nonsense.. have to otherwise who will put up with mine=D

EDIT: speaking of nonsense i just got a text that said "I forgot I'm no good to you on my period" I had no idea she even had her period.. response "Huhh.. sell crazy somewhere else we are all stocked up here:)"


Just added that so you will have some indication from who you are taking relationship advice from.. but I do treat women very well.. her<3 and I have a really good time for the most part.
 
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i don't think i should have asked this chick to be my gf cause she is losing control fast i thought she had her shit together which i found attractive but now that i see her scheming ways i want distance from that i'm trying to get out of that way of thinking so if she says yeah i'm gonna have to a total dick and say something like oh i was high i didn't really mean that... ughh...
 
^^ Yeah sorry i took what you said about drama out of context. Thank you guys for the responses i really appreciate it.

showing her how much i love her isn't the issue, i do little things to show her all the time. She's just future tripping and has lost ALL faith in my ability to accomplish anything with my life because im not back in school yet aparently. i guess my own lack of motivation to do this last semester has royally fucked me here. She's about to say we're over. fuck me. I don';t know what im gonna do.

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i MAY be getting through to her, for now. I am doing my best to look at this from HER perspective and word my responses around that. She is scared that i wont be able to take care of her. I understand that, i do. It's just going to be difficult to show her that I'm getting my shit together overnight.
 
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Get out of bed and be the change you want in your life and the world???;) Please take your recovery past the rooms.. yes they are good and they work.. but sir if nothing changes then nothing changes, work out five times a week if you want to feel good and sleep, volunteer until you get a job, it will look good on both college and job aplications and make you fell good and can become a reference.. if you know what you want to study then hit the library and study it until you get into school, dont slip out today either, just keep doing the next right thing but start doing something.. getting into school after a huge drug life and not using your brain is a sure way to get crushed.. read an hour a day on shit you love.. get get up go.. you have earned your life back, why you choosing to slack? sleep when your dead case<3;)<3
 
Thank you so much NSA. I am extremely capable, and I've been told my whole life how much potential i have. Sometimes it just takes an extra kick in the ass for me to get going.

If i put HALF as much effort into being successful as I put into feeding my drug habit, who knows what I'll accomplish!
 
neversickanymore said:
you could send her some really good delivery food when she get hungry..

EDIT: speaking of nonsense i just got a text that said "I forgot I'm no good to you on my period" I had no idea she even had her period.. response "Huhh.. sell crazy somewhere else we are all stocked up here:)"
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Lol neversick that's the best reply ever.

I'm on my period...and I'm hungry... Now I want delivery food :sus:
 
She started massaging me again, decided to further explain what this "crisis" is about.

One of the pictures she saw was of me while I was using, and she had this to say:
Well this is another part of it. I saw a confidence/ high energy in that photo that I've never seen in you before and I was drawn to that version of you. I was turned on and excited and hopeful by it! Like how fucked up is that! I knew you were on drugs but I was drawn to what they seemed to do for your attitude. I don't even know how to explain how conflicted I am about it
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I'm at a complete and utter loss for words. I'm fucking heart broken. I don't know what to do or say. I quoted her a message she sent me earlier in regards to the photo, before all this escalated, where she said how she loves me just the way I am. Aparently quoting her own words was a HORRIBLE idea because she got angry and wont talk to me now. I'm going to give her space and pray. I don't know wtf else to do. Totally heartbroken right now.
 
<3<3<3<3<3 facilitate the most powerful recovery you can, get to the point so you can drop the maintenance.. and then do what is neede for you to take your place in this world.. you already know you are the shit case.. trouble is that we all reach a place where the effort is the determining factor.. make sure it is where you need to end up and not where they tell you, you need to go;)
 
So she got home and asked if I wanted to skype, I made a HUGE FUCKING MISTAKE and said that I wanted to take half an hour or so first and write or meditate or whatever to clear my thoughts because i was upset and didn't want to say anything I didn't really mean, but she got even more upset and now she's off the deep end again and said she probably wont want to talk about it again until friday, which is the day i was supposed to see her again for the first time since LAST tuesday. Fuck me. Now i have to sit here for 3 days wondering if it's over, while her insane thoughts grow stronger and stronger. I'm losing faith. This sucks. I'm so heart broken. This is the first girl I've ever truly been able to see myself having kids with, that's how much i love her. Just days ago she said the same about me.

You want to know something crazy? a week after we got together, we found out that the first day we kissed and got together the fucking SOLAR SYSTEM aligned. There was some crazy rare geometric alignment of the planets and sun the day we fucking got together, and we always talked about how we were so meant to be that the stars aligned for us. I need to meditate. :(


yep. looks like it's over. I'm fucking heart broken. Truly fucking heart broken. This is by far more psychologically painful than coming off of heroin. She told me she thinks the whole relationship was a sham. that none of it was real. She saw some pictures from my past and now she thinks the entire thing between us was just a hope and dream that never really meant anything. I'm praying she will wake up tomorrow and realize she just freaked out. But im not holding my breath. I'm so fucking heart broken right now... I need to hit a meeting first thing in the morning, and then maybe 5 more meetings. I don't want to relapse over this.
Fuck. :(

she doesn't want to see me this weekend anymore either. :(

/heartbroken
 
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